Howie Long: Asshole

The excruciating and mildly amusing commercials of the tourney

3. Howie Long. Do you want me to hate Howie Long, Chevrolet? Because I do. I couldn't hate him more if he spent all day yesterday sitting next to me and jabbing me in the thigh with a pitchfork every time I blinked. And when I think about how much more Howie Long I'm going to be seeing over the next few weeks, it makes me hate Howie Long even more.
Tell me, Howie, what's so unmasculine about a having a step to get in the back of your truck? Are all truck owners expected to have a 40-inch vertical leap? There's literally no other scenario on the planet where a person would be expected to navigate a climb of that height without the use of a step. But this poor guy is the object of Howie Long's derision because he wants a step to get into the bed of his truck?
What's your deal, Howie Long? What do you have against the use of basic technology to help a person do something they might not otherwise be able to easily do? Man-step. What do you want to the guy to do, pole vault into the back of the truck? Do you stand outside of public buildings all day, Howie, waiting for someone who uses a wheelchair to use an entrance ramp, and then say, "Hey buddy, way to use your little man-ramp"? Jerk.

And am i the only one to notice his pedophile ad? The one with the annoying little girl, a close-up of his crotch and her pointing at it, before they get into the back seat of a truck together? That's the ad. Really.

I am never buying a fucking Chevy. Fuck them and FUCK Howie Long. ASSHOLE.
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