Canada's forests, once huge help on greenhouse gases, now contribute to climate change
VANCOUVER — As relentlessly bad as the news about global warming seems to be, with ice at the poles melting faster than scientists had predicted and world temperatures rising higher than expected, there was at least a reservoir of hope stored here in Canada's vast forests.
The country's 1.2 million square miles of trees have been dubbed the "lungs of the planet" by ecologists because they account for more than 7 percent of Earth's total forest lands. They could always be depended upon to suck in vast quantities of carbon dioxide, naturally cleansing the world of much of the harmful heat-trapping gas.
But not anymore.
In an alarming yet little-noticed series of recent studies, scientists have concluded that Canada's precious forests, stressed from damage caused by global warming, insect infestations and persistent fires, have crossed an ominous line and are now pumping out more climate-changing carbon dioxide than they are sequestering.
Worse yet, the experts predict that Canada's forests will remain net carbon sources, as opposed to carbon storage "sinks," until at least 2022, and possibly much longer.
"We are seeing a significant distortion of the natural trend," said Werner Kurz, senior research scientist at the Canadian Forest Service and the leading expert on carbon cycles in the nation's forests. "Since 1999, and especially in the last five years, the forests have shifted from being a carbon sink to a carbon source."
Translation: Earth's lungs have come down with emphysema. Canada's forests are no longer our friends. . .
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
A toast to Blago
That's the kind of scandal Americans can enjoy, and we'd forgotten how much fun they could be. These days when news of a big scandal breaks it means another hundred billion dollars went missing or another major industry collapsed. Except for your scandal, Rod. The fact that the country is a shambles has made your scandal all that much more fun. You're like the guy who shows up five minutes after the apocalypse and demands he get the 4% raise he was promised before the flames engulfed the earth.
And boy do you know how to milk it. You're not taking your lumps with dignity, doing what you can to limit the damage done. You're going down swinging. Christ, just yesterday you appointed someone to that Senate seat and made sure that anyone who challenges the appointment would be called a racist! You essentially called your legislature a lynch mob! That was fantastic!
You're beautiful Rod. You're clueless, you're guileless, and most of all, you're guilty as shit. And that hair. Oh man, that gorgeous hair.
You really cheered us up when we needed it, Rod. Thanks buddy. And Happy f**kin' New Year!
And boy do you know how to milk it. You're not taking your lumps with dignity, doing what you can to limit the damage done. You're going down swinging. Christ, just yesterday you appointed someone to that Senate seat and made sure that anyone who challenges the appointment would be called a racist! You essentially called your legislature a lynch mob! That was fantastic!
You're beautiful Rod. You're clueless, you're guileless, and most of all, you're guilty as shit. And that hair. Oh man, that gorgeous hair.
You really cheered us up when we needed it, Rod. Thanks buddy. And Happy f**kin' New Year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Blago finds his soulmate
Roland Burris's Monument to Me
Roland Burris, the man Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich picked to succeed Barack Obama in the Senate, might get to etch another accolade into the monument he built for himself if this appointment goes through. . .
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Who is this man?
And how did he get Dana Perino's job? We only have three weeks of Perino Zingers left. I want her back NOW.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Hitler's Cubs
Wish I could figure out how to upload this video. Oh well.
http://hirejimessian.com/2008/12/07/winter-meetings-preview/
http://hirejimessian.com/2008/12/07/winter-meetings-preview/
Smiff: Genius (cont'd)
Finishing with a PERFECT week? I SHOCK myself sometimes...
Standings
| Rank | Pick Set Name | Total Points |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Essence of Smiff | 1448 |
| 2 | Fungster Knows How to Pick 'em | 1374 |
| 3 | Champ | 1288 |
| 4 | GWB Three-Peat | 1275 |
| 5 | Sarge's Infantry | 868 |
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Prop 8 - the historical antecedent
In November 1964, an overwhelming 65 percent majority of the state's voters approved Proposition 14, a constitutional amendment that overturned a fair-housing law and allowed racial discrimination in property sales and rentals.
in hindsight, blaring the horn was probably a mistake
Man steals fire truck to drive home for Christmas: police
Police in South Salt Lake, Utah, have arrested a man they say tried to steal a fire truck so he could drive home -- to Washington -- for Christmas.
Detective Gary Keller says firefighters on a medical call heard the $500,000 truck's air horn blaring Monday and ran outside. They found a man in the driver's seat trying to drive away.
Police in South Salt Lake, Utah, have arrested a man they say tried to steal a fire truck so he could drive home -- to Washington -- for Christmas.
Detective Gary Keller says firefighters on a medical call heard the $500,000 truck's air horn blaring Monday and ran outside. They found a man in the driver's seat trying to drive away.
Da Mare: Bilandic Lite?
At least in Bilandic's case it took an actual phokking blizzard to bring him down.
Residents (Fung?) demand: plow my block
"Isn't this supposed to be Chicago, the city that works?. . . Works my foot!"*
Matt SMIFF, spokesman for the city's department of Streets and Sanitation, defended the city's plowing of side streets. He said city crews hit the side streets three times last week, the third time Saturday night to spread salt to handle the arctic weather. The city was planning to plow side streets after rush hour Tuesday night, depending on how the latest winter storm evolved.
The city, the Illinois Department of Transportation and the Illinois Tollway all had their full fleets of trucks out to handle Tuesday's storm, which produced up to four inches of snow. Freezing rain was expected overnight, with more snow forecast for today.
"People need to understand the weather we had was exceptionally harsh," said Smiff (LAME... Ed.), who said city residents can call 311 to report problems on their streets. . .
* Sounds like a sanitized version. What she probably actually said: "Isn't dis 'sposed to be Chicago, Da City Dat Works? My phokking @SS!"
Residents (Fung?) demand: plow my block
"Isn't this supposed to be Chicago, the city that works?. . . Works my foot!"*
Matt SMIFF, spokesman for the city's department of Streets and Sanitation, defended the city's plowing of side streets. He said city crews hit the side streets three times last week, the third time Saturday night to spread salt to handle the arctic weather. The city was planning to plow side streets after rush hour Tuesday night, depending on how the latest winter storm evolved.
The city, the Illinois Department of Transportation and the Illinois Tollway all had their full fleets of trucks out to handle Tuesday's storm, which produced up to four inches of snow. Freezing rain was expected overnight, with more snow forecast for today.
"People need to understand the weather we had was exceptionally harsh," said Smiff (LAME... Ed.), who said city residents can call 311 to report problems on their streets. . .
* Sounds like a sanitized version. What she probably actually said: "Isn't dis 'sposed to be Chicago, Da City Dat Works? My phokking @SS!"
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
War on Christmas (cont)
Perhaps the folks at Faux Noise should go after dese guys instead of the "happy holidays" folks over here...
Christmas turkeys fall prey to Taliban bomb
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN Dec 19 2008 13:44
A lorry (dead giveaway that this isn't an American writing - ed) load of Christmas turkeys for British troops in Afghanistan has fallen victim to a roadside bomb planted by Taliban insurgents, it was reported Friday. The frozen birds were completely destroyed in an explosion on route from Pakistan to British headquarters at Camp Bastion in the volatile Helmand province in southern Afghanistan.
The Ministry of Defence in London said a consignment of replacement birds had been flown out to make up for the loss and ensure that the traditional Christmas dinner for troops can go ahead. -- Sapa-dp
Christmas turkeys fall prey to Taliban bomb
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN Dec 19 2008 13:44
A lorry (dead giveaway that this isn't an American writing - ed) load of Christmas turkeys for British troops in Afghanistan has fallen victim to a roadside bomb planted by Taliban insurgents, it was reported Friday. The frozen birds were completely destroyed in an explosion on route from Pakistan to British headquarters at Camp Bastion in the volatile Helmand province in southern Afghanistan.
The Ministry of Defence in London said a consignment of replacement birds had been flown out to make up for the loss and ensure that the traditional Christmas dinner for troops can go ahead. -- Sapa-dp
Monday, December 22, 2008
you don't have to get drunk and sit outside in zero degrees for four hours watching the Bears suck to develop numbness in the upper extremity
Early Miscalculations
On the eve of the invasion, as it began to dawn on a few officials that the price for rebuilding Iraq would be vastly greater than they had been told, the degree of miscalculation was illustrated in an encounter between Donald H. Rumsfeld, then the defense secretary, and Jay Garner, a retired lieutenant general who had hastily been named the chief of what would be a short-lived civilian authority called the Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance.
The history records how Mr. Garner presented Mr. Rumsfeld with several rebuilding plans, including one that would include projects across Iraq.
“What do you think that’ll cost?” Mr. Rumsfeld asked of the more expansive plan.
“I think it’s going to cost billions of dollars,” Mr. Garner said.
“My friend,” Mr. Rumsfeld replied, “if you think we’re going to spend a billion dollars of our money over there, you are sadly mistaken.”
On the eve of the invasion, as it began to dawn on a few officials that the price for rebuilding Iraq would be vastly greater than they had been told, the degree of miscalculation was illustrated in an encounter between Donald H. Rumsfeld, then the defense secretary, and Jay Garner, a retired lieutenant general who had hastily been named the chief of what would be a short-lived civilian authority called the Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance.
The history records how Mr. Garner presented Mr. Rumsfeld with several rebuilding plans, including one that would include projects across Iraq.
“What do you think that’ll cost?” Mr. Rumsfeld asked of the more expansive plan.
“I think it’s going to cost billions of dollars,” Mr. Garner said.
“My friend,” Mr. Rumsfeld replied, “if you think we’re going to spend a billion dollars of our money over there, you are sadly mistaken.”
since when has "numbness in the upper extremity" been a warning sign for Bears fans?
Cold may be unbearable
Football fans are warned over added perils of alcohol
(UnBEARable! Get it? Funny stuff... Ed...)
Booze and the Bears go together naturally for many fans at Soldier Field, but an expert warns that may be a dangerous combination on a frigid Monday night.
With the windchill expected to make lakefront temperatures feel like around zero during the Bears-Packers game, the commissioner of the Chicago Department of Public Health warned fans to beware the dangers of alcohol.
Alcohol makes blood vessels dilate and stretch, allowing body heat to escape more quickly, said Dr. Terry Mason. . .
"It doesn't take very long to get cold," he said. "Don't wait until your extremities start to feel numb. . ."
"Unfortunately, it's going to be pretty darn cold," said meteorologist Eric Lenning.
Football fans are warned over added perils of alcohol
(UnBEARable! Get it? Funny stuff... Ed...)
Booze and the Bears go together naturally for many fans at Soldier Field, but an expert warns that may be a dangerous combination on a frigid Monday night.
With the windchill expected to make lakefront temperatures feel like around zero during the Bears-Packers game, the commissioner of the Chicago Department of Public Health warned fans to beware the dangers of alcohol.
Alcohol makes blood vessels dilate and stretch, allowing body heat to escape more quickly, said Dr. Terry Mason. . .
"It doesn't take very long to get cold," he said. "Don't wait until your extremities start to feel numb. . ."
"Unfortunately, it's going to be pretty darn cold," said meteorologist Eric Lenning.
The Daily SHOCKER
Cheney acknowledged that he had disagreed with Bush's decision to remove embattled Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld in late 2006, saying that "the president doesn't always take my advice."
"I was a Rumsfeld man," Cheney said. "I'd helped recruit him, and I thought he did a good job for us."
"Go phokk yourself," he added, beating a slithery retreat to his underground lair before risking exposure to the purifying rays of the sun.
"I was a Rumsfeld man," Cheney said. "I'd helped recruit him, and I thought he did a good job for us."
"Go phokk yourself," he added, beating a slithery retreat to his underground lair before risking exposure to the purifying rays of the sun.
How the International Bush Disaster is helping one independent entrepreneur
By the way, the first entrepreneur was quite evidently a French Phokk... a little mayonnaise for thought to go with our Freedom Fries...
‘Bush Shoe’ Gives Firm a Footing in the Market
(Footing! Get it? Hah - good one... Ed...)
ISTANBUL — When a pair of black leather oxfords hurled at President Bush in Baghdad produced a gasp heard around the world, a Turkish cobbler had a different reaction: They were his shoes.
“We have been producing that specific style, which I personally designed, for 10 years, so I couldn’t have missed it, no way,” said Ramazan Baydan, a shoemaker in Istanbul. “As a shoemaker, you understand.”
Although his assertion has been impossible to verify — cobblers from Lebanon, China and Iraq have also staked claims to what is quickly becoming some of the most famous footwear in the world — orders for Mr. Baydan’s shoes, formerly known as Ducati Model 271 and since renamed “The Bush Shoe,” have poured in from around the world.
A new run of 15,000 pairs, destined for Iraq, went into production on Thursday, he said. A British distributor has asked to become the Baydan Shoe Company’s European sales representative, with a first order of 95,000 pairs, and an American company (Gitmo-bound? Ed.) has placed an order for 18,000 pairs. Four distributors are competing to represent the company in Iraq, where Baydan sold 19,000 pairs of this model for about $40 each last year. . .
‘Bush Shoe’ Gives Firm a Footing in the Market
(Footing! Get it? Hah - good one... Ed...)
ISTANBUL — When a pair of black leather oxfords hurled at President Bush in Baghdad produced a gasp heard around the world, a Turkish cobbler had a different reaction: They were his shoes.
“We have been producing that specific style, which I personally designed, for 10 years, so I couldn’t have missed it, no way,” said Ramazan Baydan, a shoemaker in Istanbul. “As a shoemaker, you understand.”
Although his assertion has been impossible to verify — cobblers from Lebanon, China and Iraq have also staked claims to what is quickly becoming some of the most famous footwear in the world — orders for Mr. Baydan’s shoes, formerly known as Ducati Model 271 and since renamed “The Bush Shoe,” have poured in from around the world.
A new run of 15,000 pairs, destined for Iraq, went into production on Thursday, he said. A British distributor has asked to become the Baydan Shoe Company’s European sales representative, with a first order of 95,000 pairs, and an American company (Gitmo-bound? Ed.) has placed an order for 18,000 pairs. Four distributors are competing to represent the company in Iraq, where Baydan sold 19,000 pairs of this model for about $40 each last year. . .
Sunday, December 21, 2008
not to pick on an easy target...
but Andy Rooney is colossally, titanically, flamboyantly brain-dead. And he stole the Sears-Roebuck joke from George Carlin. Here's an observation: most of the crap in holiday catalogs is s#i+ that would never interest you in a meeelllion years. The difference between my observation and Andy Rooney's is that I didn't make five figures over two minutes making it.
Signs of the Apocalypse?
Sports bulletin: Blackhawks (who?) win 7 in a row, 15 players weren't born yet the last time that happened.
sKILLy bulletin: -3 degrees. Fahrenheit. That would be -20 degrees Centigrade.
Oh, no, wait, that's hell freezing over. My bad.
sKILLy bulletin: -3 degrees. Fahrenheit. That would be -20 degrees Centigrade.
Oh, no, wait, that's hell freezing over. My bad.
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