That's the kind of scandal Americans can enjoy, and we'd forgotten how much fun they could be. These days when news of a big scandal breaks it means another hundred billion dollars went missing or another major industry collapsed. Except for your scandal, Rod. The fact that the country is a shambles has made your scandal all that much more fun. You're like the guy who shows up five minutes after the apocalypse and demands he get the 4% raise he was promised before the flames engulfed the earth.
And boy do you know how to milk it. You're not taking your lumps with dignity, doing what you can to limit the damage done. You're going down swinging. Christ, just yesterday you appointed someone to that Senate seat and made sure that anyone who challenges the appointment would be called a racist! You essentially called your legislature a lynch mob! That was fantastic!
You're beautiful Rod. You're clueless, you're guileless, and most of all, you're guilty as shit. And that hair. Oh man, that gorgeous hair.
You really cheered us up when we needed it, Rod. Thanks buddy. And Happy f**kin' New Year!
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