In contrast to the always wrong Bill "Always Wrong" Kristol, some news outlets had the details more or less figured out

"Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address yesterday that 'our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over...'"

"My fellow Americans . . . at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

. . . Bush promised to bring an end to the "severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years."

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration. . . Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

"On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further."

And there was much rejoicing

Shockingly few witness Obama's swearing-in

The Day

I kept wondering if they flashed back to the podium after the convocation if Justice Stevens was yelling into a dead microphone, "I quit, I quit."

It's a shame Strom Thurmond was not here to witness this day. On the other hand, he would have loved Michelle.

It was a paradigm shift for me today. I was hoping that after Bush left office he would be prosecuted. Or if that failed, shot. Maybe I'm just in a particularly good mood, but I hope they can convict him and members of his administration for all the crimes they committed in office. Whether he or anyone is ever held specifically responsible for it, beyond censure, I'm not sure I care anymore. History will judge him, and he is unreachable, irredeemable and unreformable by any method of punishment that I can fathom.

This is getting ridiculous

Is Wrigley still big enough to host a football game?

On the one hand, Fung might actually go to a 'Cats game if it were that close. On da udder hand, it's Wrigley. Where dreams go to die. Horribly. Why don't you try charging less for a game instead?

Whitey keeping darky down (cont)

Apparently Obama flubbed the oath because Roberts flubbed the oath, thereby throwing him off. I tell you whitey, you never let us have anything.

New Rules

With the new President being black & all, I'm now in charge of this blog. I shall publish new rules shortly. You have been warned.

Spring Cleaning

A whole buncha signs on the right side there are gonna have to come down now... Puzzled, Sad may end up on top...

I will start by removing the ones I'm responsible for. Just need to find new ones...

New President, same media

Wolf Blitzer just described Obama's penmanship as "excellent...really impressive."

The End of THIS ASSHOLE!

Less than 24 hours left for Bush to destroy the universe

If you don't think he's capable of it, read this. It's possible that nobody ever sucked at anything as much as he has sucked at this.

If you hear a BOOM and see a bright flash of light in the sky...

Travis Hafner, who battled shoulder injuries throughout 2008 and had surgery in October, is scheduled to swing a bat Monday. …

Say it ain't So!

The Cubs have reportedly agreed to a minor league deal with outfielder So Taguchi.
Assuming that Felix Pie is gone, Taguchi would battle Joey Gathright for a job as a reserve outfielder in spring training. However, it'd be one of those cases in which a team would much prefer to see the younger player win the job. Taguchi hit .220/.283/.297 in 91 at-bats for the Phils last year.
~

Whitey, whitey, whitey

Lawyers quit impeachment case, call it a 'lynching'

You can't call it a lynching. How the heck would you know what a, oh, wait, that's right, you used to dish 'em out so you are intimately familiar with the process. Never mind...

I knew K-Mad would want to read the last one...

Dana Perino, at last White House briefing says "go easy" on successor Robert Gibbs "for a week"

MS. PERINO: Welcome, everyone, to the last press briefing of the Bush administration. It's hard to believe that this is my 145th and final press briefing behind this podium. Over 1,000 briefings have been given by press secretaries and deputy press secretaries, at this podium, since the beginning of the administration -- starting, of course, with our very good friend (and tremendous asshole--ed.), Ari Fleischer.

I've been honored to have been able to speak on President Bush's behalf and it's been a privilege to take your questions....
~

Speaking of JTP, any news from Gaza?

So much for removing 10 zeros

Zimbabwe rolls out Z$100tr note 

Chilly?

Chicago windchills plunge to dangerous levels • Too cold to fix potholes, be mayor | Why do you live here? Really, WHY?? | Photos • Weather: Skilling | Forecast, conditions, FULLASHIT | Wind chill, brain freeze warning • Watch and listen: The lakefront at sunrise (sun?) • How to survive: Advice from Fargo (wood chipper?) | Tips from doormen ("Go inside, moron!") • But don't do this: Indiana boy licks light pole, gets stuck (Triple-dog dared) • Frozen Off Limbs: Your photos | Your comments

0 day, 23 hours, 12 minutes, 53 seconds since Chicago's
temperature dropped below 0

Smiff discovers world's largest lima bean