Which of these was heard on Fox News and which appeared in a reputable news source (the Onion)?

Layoffs Are Necessary If We Want To Keep The Lights On,' Says CEO Halfway Through Tasting Menu

[Plutocrat] Complains Boston Protesters Got "Between Me And A Steak Dinner."

Of course, the Onion is a satirical newspaper, but then Fox News is a satirical television network, so this could be splitting hairs.
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On the agenda for next week: putting Brawndo on the crops

Pinellas County Commission votes to stop putting fluoride in water supply

"Fluoride is a toxic substance," said tea party activist Tony Caso of Palm Harbor. "This is all part of an agenda that's being pushed forth by the so-called globalists in our government and the world government to keep the people stupid so they don't realize what's going on."

He added: "This is the U.S. of A, not the Soviet Socialist Republic."

He Gone!

You know who I mean. Don't even need to link to anything. I tell you what.

He'll be grabbing some bench elsewhere. Who'll be grabbing some Sox bench? I think it's time to bring Jerry Manuel back - the complete opposite of Ozzie. But sigh, you know the Sox will grab some inexperienced guy to become a first time manager - haven't they done that the last 8 times?

Life won't be as entertaining without him. You can put that on the board.

Skilly Sez®

Yesterday: rain. Today: rain. Tomorrow: rain. Wednesday: rain. Thursday: rain.

There is probably an interesting story behind that

News item: Dodgers Dress Mexican Pitcher As Taco
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Making $#!+ up: Fox Sports Division

Get a brain MORAN!

Literally Unbelievable » "this Moran":

This is your intestine on drugs...

Irishman caught with 72 cocaine capsules in Brazil:

Onion, or ya gotta be phokking kidding me?

Pat Robertson Says Alzheimer's Is Grounds for Divorce:

Bacon: An Ongoing Celebration (Cont'd)

Twenty contestants, 300 pounds of bacon, one day: This is the Bacon Takedown, returning to Chicago for a second year this September. When asked what was the most creative item on the last Takedown’s menu, creator Matt Timms replies “bacon taffy” with little hesitation, but can’t choose a favorite dish.
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The terrists have won (cont)

Cookies strike fear on flight - chicagotribune.com:

Rick Perry gets a message from God

Onion, or real, or painfully unaware of the difference, or just pretending to be painfully unaware of the difference?

It's so hard to tell anymore...
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Back to my youth...

Sid Meier's Civilisation • reghardware:

Classic game, wasted a good chunk of college on it. Civ II - even more awesomer. Civ III - never finished. Civ IV - never finished. Civ V - now we're talking again!

How to market baseball in Texas

Kids! Get a Rangers football Sunday night!

First World Problems (cont)

BBC News - Dog thefts on increase in US:

Except we don't walk anywhere, so...

BBC News - Mobile phones could soon be 'powered by walking':

Nice idea, but won't work for us drive everywhere fat blips...

Chinese birds (commies?) duped by liberal Main Stream Media into flying for cold climates

And what has the streak-throated fulvetta (sounds dirty) ever done for us anyway?
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Which of these idiots looks more prezzzdential?

For my money, it's Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.

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Now even plants and animals have joined in on YOOOOGE global warming FRAUD...

... or, perpetrators of most elaborate hoax ever going to ever more elaborate lengths (like moving plants and animals) to perpetrate hoax (cont'd)

From the current issue of Science and Shit:

"On average, the team finds, creatures move both up mountains and farther away from the equator at a speed that keeps pace with the rate of climate change and at a pace that is far faster than previously predicted."

That's it, run away, Chicken Littles... ya gonna cry now?