McCain - following in the Spades Marathon footsteps...

McCain Plays Catch-Up: Attends German Restaurant In German Village, Ohio
July 24, 2008 12:09 PM

John McCain is still playing catch up to Barack Obama.

As the Illinois Democrat speaks before the picturesque Victory Column in Berlin today, the Arizona Republican is doing a slightly less exciting form of German outreach. He is having a lunch meeting with small business leaders at a German restaurant in German Village, Columbus, Ohio.

The presidential race, it seems has boiled down to who has the greatest German appeal. McCain's appearance at Schmidts' restaurant, a "Sausage Haus" comes after the RNC launched several advertisements in towns named Berlin.

Among the items he may have ordered include: Sauerkraut-Bratwurst Balls, Hoffbrau Schnitzel, or the Bratwurst, voted the "Best Wurst" by Columbus Monthly.



Fung and Adam have their picture taken with their faces in those things - they look at each other with love! Sadly - the pictures are on another computer right now...I'll tell you what - win or lose - McCain's in for a NICE lunch. I hope he throws up on some autoship dealer from Zanesville. Meanwhile, this strategy seems to be working as he starts making a dent in the battleground ("we only watch O'Reilly when our shows aren't on") states

Some Lite Reading

Rating Ozzie's most memorable blowups

If you're gonna make this list, may as well include the swears...

A plan to kill endangered animals and help starving refugees - why is that a problem?

"Regarding the Congressman's desire to hunt wildebeest and distribute the cured meat to refugees, wildebeest are not present in Chad." (Damn! If it's not one thing it's another... Ed.)

Good Morning!

McCain Makes Significant Gains in Four Key Battleground States
Majority of Voters in Colorado, Michigan, Minnesota and Wisconsin Favor Keeping Troops in Iraq, According to Quinnipiac-washingtonpost.com-Wall Street Journal Survey

Republican John McCain has quickly closed the gap between himself and Democratic rival Sen. Barack Obama in several key battleground states even as the Arizona senator struggles to break through the wall-to-wall coverage of Obama's trip to Europe and the Middle East this week.

Moral: Don't Phokk Wiff Da K-Mad

Pedro Martinez won't start Friday as expected after learning of the death of his father following Wednesday's game.
~

The brain-dead troglodyte is back...

...Yes, The Awful Brett Myers!!! I see that he STILL SUCKS! Though i suppose the good news here is that he not only didn't serve up a grand slam, but allowed no homers at all. So take dat, HATERS (myself). Still, i hate the man. HATE.

Bottom 1st: NY Mets
- J. Reyes grounded out to second
- E. Chavez walked
- D. Wright walked, E. Chavez to second
- C. Delgado walked, E. Chavez to third, D. Wright to second
- C. Beltran walked, E. Chavez scored, D. Wright to third, C. Delgado to second
- M. Anderson grounded out to second, D. Wright scored, C. Delgado to third, C. Beltran to second
- D. Easley grounded out to third
2 runs, 0 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 0, NY Mets 2
~

Euroleague stats will not count in PARCers '08-'09

...much to the chagrin of Sarge.

Ex-Hawk Childress signs with Greek club team
ESPN.com news services
Updated: July 23, 2008, 5:54 PM ET

Josh Childress is leaving the Atlanta Hawks for Greek club Olympiakos, reversing the course of the many international stars who have signed with the NBA.

Heading overseas allows Childress to make more money than he could have as a restricted free agent in the United States. The Hawks had the right to match an offer from another NBA team, but not from an international club.

McDonald's - wid da Red Chinese

From Crain's, July 23:

Ads airing on Chinese TV depict Chinese athletes chowing down on Big Macs and the like, amid catchy music and the tag line, “I’m lovin’ it when China wins.”

In addition to the “Cheer for China” TV spot, the firm in April flew to Beijing the one and only Ronald McDonald, McDonald's Corp.'s “chief happiness officer,” as a press release puts it.

Mr. McDonald met with the five winners of a nationwide talent search “to find unique individuals to cheer for Chinese athletes during the Olympic Games period,” the press release says. More than 1 million people reportedly competed for the honor.

The release adds that Ronald McDonald and the five cheerers “danced steps in time with McDonald’s Shake Shake Fries rattles and special McDonald’s Cheering Cups to add to the excitement of the program. From today, McDonald’s is also extending the ‘I’m lovin’ China Win’ cheer and dance to employees at its restaurants as a customer greeting.”

improbable developments in plutocracy (cont'd)

News item: Auditors at an oversight agency of the Pentagon were pressured by supervisors to skew their reports on a major defense contractor's work, hiding wrongdoing and charges of overbilling, according to an 80-page report from the Government Accountability Office.

Meanwhile, on the RezziDunce farewell tour...

'Wall Street got drunk' says Bush

Weren't you the one pushing home ownership? Now the banks & everyone else "went too far"? And where were you when they were going too far, sir?

Gutlessness?

Kevin Millwood left his Wednesday start in the third inning with an unknown injury.

~

Did Dumbya find a magic wand??

McCain credits Bush for recent $10-a-barrel drop in oil price

Fair enough--along as we can blame him for the $100 increase since he took office...

~

Asshole Who Doesn't Know A Lot of Things

Novak hits pedestrian with car
Posted: 12:05 PM ET

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Journalist Robert Novak hit a pedestrian with his car in the nation's capital Wednesday morning, Washington police Lt. Michael Lockerman said.

Novak continued driving, unaware he had hit the man, he told reporters for WJLA-TV and the Web site Politico as he got out of a police car.

"I didn't know I hit anybody," he said near the scene of the incident at 17th and K streets in northwest Washington. "A bicycle rider stopped me and said I had hit someone."

Well, he is from Mississippi

Brett Favre might want to invest in his own cell phone

the suspense is killing Fungster

Apple hints at something new

... there is some speculation that it may introduce a new kind of device that is smaller than a laptop but larger than an iPhone. (A sammich? Ed.)

Grandpa Fights Back

For the first time since shortly after clinching the Democratic nomination, we now have Barack Obama as less than a 60 percent favorite to win the election. Our simulations presently project Obama to win the election 58.4 percent of the time, with McCain winning the remaining 41.6 percent.

troops? we don't need no stinkin troops

News item: Since 1994, 12,342 service men and women have been discharged, according to Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a gay rights group.

rebuttal

The fist bump should have missed - woulda been funnier. Also, there should be clear evidence of an adult diaper.

Things That Suck: The New York Mets (cont'd)

Top 9th: Philadelphia
- D. Sanchez relieved J. Santana
- J. Werth singled to center
- G. Dobbs hit for P. Feliz
- G. Dobbs singled to center, J. Werth to second
- S. Victorino singled to center, J. Werth to third, G. Dobbs to second
- J. Smith relieved D. Sanchez
- C. Ruiz reached on fielder's choice, J. Werth scored, G. Dobbs to third, S. Victorino to second
- G. Jenkins hit for C. Durbin
- P. Feliciano relieved J. Smith
- S. Taguchi hit for G. Jenkins
- S. Taguchi doubled to deep right, S. Victorino and G. Dobbs scored, C. Ruiz to third
- J. Rollins doubled to left, S. Taguchi and C. Ruiz scored
- C. Utley grounded out to first, J. Rollins to third
- P. Burrell intentionally walked
- R. Howard grounded out to pitcher, J. Rollins scored, P. Burrell to second
- A. Heilman relieved P. Feliciano
- J. Werth walked
- G. Dobbs popped out to shortstop

6 runs, 5 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 8, NY Mets 5

~

typical climate change nutjob

Climate protester tries to glue himself to Brown

LONDON (AFP) - A climate change protester unsuccessfully tried to superglue himself to Prime Minister Gordon Brown at an event in the leader's residence, a government spokesman said Tuesday.

Ed Wade: Get a Brain Morans

Astros acquired LHP Randy Wolf from the Padres for RHP Chad Reineke. Wolf will take Roy Oswalt's rotation spot now and maybe Runelvys Hernandez's later. He was 6-10 with a 4.74 ERA for the Padres and 1-6 with a 6.63 ERA away from Petco Park. It's doubtful that he'll be an asset in Houston, and any fantasy value he still had is now gone.

Does Ed Wade honestly think the Asstros are a playoff calibre team? 5th in the division...10 games out of the wild card...seven teams ahead of them for the wild card. Hell, the Padres probably have a better chance of winning the NL West, given the awfulness of that division. And certainly, even if Houston was "a player away," hard to see how Randy Wolf fits that description. Maybe you should have gone for Rich Harden, Ed. Though, of course, Houston's minor league system is a virtual dustbowl of a talent: vast rigor mortis at every level. What a maroon.
~

Fung has probably already gotten dis off the internets

The Daily Star, a British tabloid, is reporting that there is a sex tape featuring Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. It's hard to believe this is true: the cameraman is claiming that he obtained the tape through the use of a hidden camera in a friend's apartment, and he is apparently extorting asking Madonna for "a fortune" for the rights to the video. This would put him in a lot of trouble with the law and likely end up in jail time, and while it's hard to believe anyone is that foolish, we are talking about a guy who thinks there's demand for an A-Rod/Madonna sex tape.
~

imperviousness to irony (cont'd)

Exclusive: Scientists warn that there may be no ice at North Pole this summer

It seems unthinkable, but for the first time in human history, ice is on course to disappear entirely from the North Pole this year.

. . .

If it happens, it raises the prospect of the Arctic nations being able to exploit the valuable oil and mineral deposits below these a bed which have until now been impossible to extract because of the thick sea ice above. (YAY! Ed.)

Does it get any more Zzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzz dan dis?


TV host Williams: Omarosa 'delusional, pathetic' (duh)
By DERRIK J. LANG, AP Entertainment Writer

LOS ANGELES (Smiff's northern suburb)- Reality TV villain Omarosa (this name sounds familiar - was she fired as some point?) sparred with talk show host Wendy Williams (who?) on Monday in a spat that at one point turned physical (cat fight? Is there video?).

She appeared on Fox's (how low can you go?) "The Wendy Williams Show" (everyone has a show these days - and they're so unimaginative that they just name it after themselves) to promote her upcoming book (shameless money making scheme) but instead spent more time trading insults with the radio personality-turned-talk show host.

"I wanted to throw her off the set," Williams later told The Associated Press (I think we would all have chipped in for bail).

The altercation started when Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth first walked onto the daytime talk show and said she was displeased with Williams' introduction of her and would not be disrespected (oh no you didn't). Things got uglier when Williams grabbed Omarosa's book cover to hold it up to the camera, and Omarosa snatched it back out of Williams' hand (oh snap).

"Omarosa wished her career was my career," (really? coz, I'd at least heard of her, and still aren't sure who you are) Williams told the AP. "Omarosa is a delusional, D-list, pathetic woman."(er, the only person that's actually D-list is Kathy Griffin. Everyone else is on some list either higher or lower than D)

The yanking gave way to Omarosa attacking Williams' appearance (that's like the pot calling the kettle, er, um, eh, I'm a darky, I can say it, black), asking the talk show host whether she had had a nose job and suggesting she shouldn't wear wigs (but it's so much faster than going down to the salon, and way cheaper too).

But Williams didn't stay silent throughout the heated interview (she ain't no punk ass). She called Omarosa "a typical angry black woman" (oh snap - yes, you can use it more than once)and suggested cosmetic injections could fix her wrinkles.

Will there be a rematch? (catfight at midnight? dustup in makeup?)

"I have no reason to invite Omarosa back to the show," (wuss) said Williams. "That's done. She had her moment."

Omarosa was a contestant on the first "Apprentice" with Donald Trump in 2004. Her domineering personality quickly earned her enemies among fellow contestants and TV viewers (and, apparently, 15 minutes of fame that's in about minute 14 somewhere).

An after-hours telephone message and e-mail to Omarosa's publicist were not immediately returned Monday.

Phil Gramm was right!

It is all mental...

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

Bats and Balls: and dat's just the food

7:34 PM me: PUMMELING: my teams go 11-1 dis week
7:35 PM Kevin: same here - woulda been 12-0 if halladay hadn't gotten hammered and left the door open for aaa pitcher (waaaaahhh)
mmmmmmmm spam
actually i meant 8-1
7:36 PM cherries: monsters of the...
cherry... orchard
me: Tarrist Malicki endorses Obama's plan? Can we invade and overthrow him?
7:37 PM Kevin: it would restore america's faith in america if we could just mercilessly bomb the shit outta somebody for a few weeks in a consequence-free environment
me: Belgium? stinkin' fat bastards
7:38 PM Kevin: that would rock. they stole our beer and besides they're almost french
7:39 PM me: back in Monks' bullpen, Bierd dominates
Kevin: yeah but he has a funny name... sounds like a tarrist
BIERD - not american sounding
7:40 PM me: how about Randor?
Kevin: sounds like a hobbit
what is he, three-foot-eight?
me: KO reading LoC again? just showed a map of the middle east
Kevin: funny
7:41 PM me: also, story #4: Monks PUMMEL Crab Queens - i wuz shocked he brought that up - played game 3, in fact
7:42 PM Jeter hit a HR! about time, LOSER
Kevin: iran is also on the turkey-turkmenistan border, btw
7:43 PM me: turkwhattawhu?
Kevin: that is the capital
me: dat's a country? can we bomb them?
7:44 PM Kevin: wiff one hand tied behind our backs
7:45 PM me: Jonny Gomes got a hit!
also walked - ON FIRE
Kevin: 2B tomorrow for homunculi: WI@@Y vs maholm or ian stewart vs kershaw? datz almost too easy...stewart
stop drop and roll!
7:46 PM me: 12,428 tonight in Tampa to watch the AL East leaders...
7:48 PM Kevin: change mind - WI@@Y
tampa SUCKS - should never have gotten a team - FRAUDS
white elephant dome - deres somephin we can bomb (maybe while dickie v is in it)
7:49 PM me: go look at the Detroit box score for MORE MATT JOYCE DESTRUCTION
Kevin: SHIT's BLOWIN UP BAYBEEE
7:50 PM joyce - YOOOOGE
white sox - awful
7:51 PM cordero - annudder blown save - datz so CHIX
me: dough da Q goes yahd
7:52 PM Kevin: seff mcclung - 5 non-catastrophic innings
dough salomon torres blows da save, steals da win
7:54 PM cubs getting manhandled by randy johnson - puzzling
8:00 PM me: high gas prices? new McCain ad sez it's all Obama's fault
like everything else
8:01 PM and this just in: Phil Gramm is still a piece of shit
8:04 PM Matt Joyce: another hit: HOTTER THAN THE SUN
Kevin: and: he blew up
8:05 PM me: Tigers up 19-0...
8:06 PM Kevin: chix era tonight: 40.498
8:08 PM alex romer (who?) homers off harden
romero
8:09 PM rockies pitching shutting em down
8:11 PM me: sellout on da sout'side for a Shit Sox stinker - wuz it free brat night?
8:12 PM Kevin: coulda been run on da field and beat up da umpires night
me: speaking of which, Smiff has been reduced to meatless brats...
Kevin: whaaaaaaaaaaaa?
puzzling
8:14 PM me: sad
there wuz a sale
actually, not bad
Kevin: what would doug sohn say?
8:15 PM me: covered wiff mustard and onions, anyting is good (except broccoli)
Kevin: true
me: he would probably want to make a sausage out of me after force feeding and fattening me up even more...
8:16 PM nevertheless, the Monks destroyed da CQs anyway
Kevin: sounds delicious (nothing personal)
yes
8:17 PM me: of course, there isn't much of a liver left, so good luck wid dat one, doug
Kevin: dat wud teach him
me: and isn't Doug a stpuid-ass name, anyway?
STUPID-ASS ... Doug
8:18 PM LA has 16 runs in the 5th inning - how is Nomar (Fant!) involved?
Kevin: not at all?
8:20 PM ruh-roh:
7/21 Josh Johnson (Fla - SP) Add Free Agents Maddogs
8:21 PM guess dis wud be a bad time to tell him dat josh j might be a prairie chicken by dis time tomorrow?
me: NOMAR: DNP - i am SHOCKED - probably injured himself by breathing
Kevin: dat can be dangerous
8:22 PM me: sucked in some dust...sneezed...strained his back
8:23 PM Kevin: eyeballs popped out... rolled under desk... bumped head searching for eyeballs...
me: Dat's it!
8:24 PM do you have Valverde? stinkin' up da joint
Kevin: why, yes!
me: TWO BALLS OVER THE FENCE (not his)
8:25 PM Kevin: perfect complement to cordero's self-immolation tonight
crispy, crackly... mmmmm something smells good
me: dat's da brats
Kevin: no dis is unmistakably meaty
8:28 PM great episode of Nature last night about how da grizzlies are TOTALLY PHOKKED
annudder species doomed to extinction -- who woulda guessed?
8:29 PM lots of people dough - we can eat each udder when da animals are gone
me: YAY!
Kevin: i'm starting wif francisco "crispy crackly" cordero
8:30 PM 6-3 240 - dat would last like phree weeks
me: how about the CEO of Freddie Mac? made 20 million last year despite being a total phokking failure
8:31 PM Kevin: well he had to rise pretty high to fail that spectacularly... not for amateurs
he'd be delicious in a lemon cream sauce
me: Valverde: anudder run (dat's 4)
how about him for afters?
8:32 PM a little ketchup...
Kevin: delightful
wif a few french fries?
me: yes
woops, he's outta the game
still, 2 more runs could be charged
8:33 PM Kevin: micah owings (smelts, end times) on for d-bax
me: MANY runs about to score
Kevin: was sposed to start tomorrow - puzzling
me: rubber arm
and brain
8:34 PM Kevin: i would like to have da rubber brain
is it available as an implant?
me: don't yas already got one?
Kevin: cant remember - mebbe
8:36 PM me: FUNNY:
8:37 PM Last Play: F. Sanchez hit an inside the park home run to deep right, J. Michaels and J. Wilson scored
six runs for Jose...
8:38 PM Kevin: if he sucked any more, his head would implode
8:39 PM chix era tonight: 81.00
me: BOOM SPLAT
Kevin: batting avg: .117
me: that's like Crab Queens bad
8:40 PM Kevin: is it possible for their era to catch up to their ba?
me: yes
Kevin: chan ho hasn't pitched yet
he can do it
taylor buchholz
8:41 PM hong-chih... yikes... 81.000 era on the night and one-third of my staff is in coors on a night with a broken humidor and the wind blowing out
and hasnt pitched yet
sweet lord
theoretically a baseball game could go on forever
me: what's the league record?
8:44 PM Kevin: a 7-run 9th - that's SO CHIX
8:47 PM me: anypfing the Cherries should get from McCluskey?
8:48 PM Kevin: nutsack?
me: wow, his team SUX
Kevin: phokk yeah
da Q?
dont need da Q
8:49 PM me: huh, we don't?
Kevin: grandy scott thames joyce gomesy - rock solid
'sides da Q had two good momfs...datz it
8:50 PM he gone
me: thames playing first
someone DHs
Gomes SUX
8:51 PM i think we could fit him in, though i don't think he would want to trade him
Kevin: yeah if he is phinking long-term, he prollaby wants to keep him
8:53 PM me: he doesn't have any vets doing anything
Kevin: yep
not even a shiny dangly object in the bullpen
8:54 PM me: Morrow
should move him if he isn't going to start
8:55 PM Kevin: our bullpen could use a little somefin
8:56 PM me: SP too, since we're one injury away from being totally phokked
8:58 PM Kevin: cubs shut down by chad phokking qualls
8:59 PM me: it's sad, puzzling, CQian
9:02 PM the bizarre foods guy is eating pig's testicles...
9:03 PM now a beating frog's heart...not bad!
9:04 PM sake garnished with a lizard...
Kevin: whatever they're paying him, its not enough, and yet, its too much
9:06 PM me: giant snails...
Kevin: tiny snails arent disgusting enough?
lemme guess - next they'll take an ordinary duck liver and make it grotesquely YOOOOOOOGE...
9:09 PM chix era vs ba smackdown is at 81.000 vs. .111
9:10 PM me: converging...
no duck liver, but he did mention monkfish livers in passing
9:13 PM Kevin: i give up... bedtime
9:14 PM me: wait... live turtles!
Kevin: with the shell?
i have a better idea -- feed that phokk to some hungry grizzlies on live tv - i would watch
9:15 PM dat wud be awesome
me: dat would be pretty cool
so far...it's a dead turtle
9:16 PM it's called Suppan (insert own joke here)
Kevin: if he could take a crap in da lake and show a live turtle swimming away, dat would be interesting
9:17 PM me: next: every part of the chicken!
9:18 PM rooster balls...
not good, apparently
Kevin: that is surprising
9:19 PM me: coming up: happy cows make tasty beef!
9:24 PM they get a massage
every morning
they run free!
are fed beer
9:25 PM Kevin: thats a nice story
and delicious
me: "Melts in your mouth like foie gras"!
9:26 PM Kevin: of course it does
me: now in Bangkok
birds' nest soup
9:27 PM Kevin: baby chix?
me: a box of 12 nests? $1000
9:28 PM the soup also has frog's ovaries - that's good eating right there!!
Kevin: yeah you really need that... i gots a real frog ovary deficit in my diet
me: frought so
9:29 PM good lord does it look disgusting
Kevin: puzzling
making me hungry so i better go
me: ant larvae...
more frog parts
9:30 PM Kevin: maybe i can find one in the yard
me: giant water bugs, grasshoppers, crickets...
9:31 PM tadpoles! mmmmmmm
whole frog on a stick
9:32 PM Kevin: alive?
me: sorry, cooked
Kevin: couldnt it have survived?
9:34 PM me: off to Changmai for the nastiest of all
what could it be - monkey brainz?
9:35 PM Kevin: mebbe... i been to chang mai, got drunk at da smiling monkey
9:36 PM me: you drank a live monkey?
9:37 PM Kevin: http://www.chiangmai-online.com/smonkey/
yes, and it rained
me: KUO IS IN!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Kevin: sweet lord
9:38 PM me: Podzzzie singles - man, dis is gonna be good
9:39 PM grilled intestines
bug salads
9:40 PM Kevin: kuo?
me: yeah
"variety of organs" sausage
9:41 PM Spirulina algae - yum!
Kevin: buchholz - not pummeled
9:42 PM me: Iannetta doubles...
9:44 PM what's for dinner?
Fruit bats!
Kevin: yum!
me: a treat!
9:45 PM stir-fried...
9:46 PM "It's some really good bat"!
Kevin: flying rodent...mmmm...
me: also funny: Tulo singles, 2 runs
Kevin: so den... yay
bedtime
9:47 PM me: nope, Hawpe did dat
Kevin: i look forward to reading of the savage, inhumane pummeling in the morning
good morning!
me: quitter
Kevin: good night...
yes
me: dat's sad
and Stewart is up, your boy
9:53 PM me: fermented shrimp paste...
9:54 PM MUTTON!
9:56 PM coagulated blood cake
9:57 PM durian: the smelliest and apparently awfulest tasting fruit in the world

brain-dead right-wing s#i+-eating troglodyte homunculi in the news (cont'd)

NEW YORK - Radio talk show host Michael Savage, who described 99 percent of children with autism as brats, said Monday he was trying to "boldly awaken" parents to his view that many people are being wrongly diagnosed.

Some parents of autistic children have called for Savage's firing after he described autism as a racket last week. "In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out," Savage said on his radio program last Wednesday. "Daing, that's a tasty squirrel," he added.

Savage offered no apology in a message posted Monday on his Web site. He said greedy doctors and drug companies were creating a "national panic" by overdiagnosing autism, a mental disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate.

On his radio show last week, he said: "What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, `Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, you idiot.'"

here's a mysterious thing

After eight years of policies designed to benefit the rich at the expense of everyone else, most people have run out of money.

Widespread earnings woes reflect consumer fears

Drunk Monks destroy Crab Queens

Monks bury the CQ's pitching in a 3 game series of pummeling and destruction, apparently held behind a woodshed beyond the left field seats at CQ Park. Film at eleven.

3-0: @3 10-5, @3 14-0, @3 24-10.

~

Horrors in the News (cont'd)

News item: Eric Hurley (hamstring, SUCKS, botched alien rectal probe) was scratched from his scheduled start Monday and left on the DL because he's dealing with arm soreness.

It's supposed to be a mild problem, and Hurley thinks he'll take his next scheduled turn. However, the Rangers might now decide to have him pitch once more in the minors.

A shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with... woops!

Do you believe the Food and Drug Administration will ever find the source of the salmonella outbreak?
Yes 11% 595
No 89% 4692
Total Votes: 5287
Poll results not scientific (but idiotic)

News item: Call it the smoking jalapeno. After nearly two months of mystery, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has identified a jalepeno pepper that is contaminated with the same strain of Salmonella saintpaul that has sickened more than 1,237 people in 43 states.

It's the first time during this outbreak that a test has found the salmonella strain in a piece of produce.

The discovery, which will be announced shortly by FDA, was made at a packing plant in McAllen, Texas, according to a source familiar with the issue. The pepper was grown in Mexico, the source said, but was sent to the U.S. for sale. Authorities are not sure where it was contaminated with salmonella.

John McCain: still without a world map and lovin' it

Foreign Policy Expert McCain: “Iraq-Pakistan Border” Extremely Dangerous


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Sosa to return to Wrigley on July 29th!

Dat's right, when Kane County plays Peoria there will be a "performance" by the ZOOperstars! featuring Clammy Sosa...

Help us select who should be next to join the ZOOperstars!
Bud Sealig
112 votes
Ramdy Johnson
152 votes
Randy Mossquito
171 votes
Chippermunk Jones
826 votes
Dale Ferrett
173 votes
Dan Marhino
176 votes
Jason Squidd
126 votes
Fly Cobb
228 votes
Mike Byson
164 votes
Muhammed Albee
166 votes
Muhammed Alligator
190 votes
Pony Stewart
525 votes

~

If there is some confusion...

...on who's to blame...

Nancy Pelosi: “Two oil men in the White House” are responsible for high oil prices

Who knew Nancy Pelosi was such a straight-shooter? When Wolf Blitzer tries to pin part of the blame for the current energy crisis on the Democratic Congress, Pelosi shoots back by saying her House did everything it could to institute a sensible energy policy, only to have “run into a brick wall” in the form of Senate Republicans — you know, the ones who broke the filibuster record for a full term last year.

“The price of oil is… is attributed to two oil men in the White House and their protectors in the United States Senate.”

While it might be easy (and typically accurate) to blame everything on President Bush and Vice President Cheney, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to lay the current crisis at the White House’s doorstep. Sure, there are some uncontrollable market forces at work, but both Cheney and Bush are oil patch guys; it would be the height of naivete to assume that they would have an energy policy that didn’t benefit Big Oil.

From Day One, Dick Cheney was plotting how to take over Iraq oil fields. Before the war, it was obvious to everyone that the invasion or Iraq, and the instability it would caused in the region, would only drive prices up further. For all the lip service President Bush pays to his commitment to renewable energy, the fact is spending has been on the stagnant since the mid-1990’s.

What we really need is a leader with the wisdom to acknowledge the magnitude of the problem and the courage to tackle it head on. “Green Screen” John McCain is clearly not that leader.

facecrap continues to suck

I added Twitter to the mini-feed so everyone could see my brilliant updates like "sammich." Of course, it doesn't work. Doesn't update. And yes, i went into edit and checked everything (twice), and then i unchecked and doublechecked and rechecked and reloaded and reupdated (three times). Also pre-boarded. Still doesn't work.

The phokking thing sucks. I blame Fung.

~

anudder reason to drink

From Ebert's Answer Man this week...

Q. I thought your question to Kevin Costner (whether he could envision casting Dennis Hopper as the Republican candidate and Kelsey Grammer as the Democrat in "Swing Vote" instead of the other way around) was interesting, especially since Costner said he could not imagine that casting. However, I remember seeing a Hopper interview years ago with Mike Wallace, in which Hopper confirmed that he is, in fact, a loyal Republican. When the interviewer asked how it was possible that a poster boy for the '60s counterculture grew into a man who voted twice for George W. Bush, Hopper replied, "I got sober, man." Harris Fleming Jr., Waldwick, N.J.

A. Like, wow, man!
~

funny, in a nobody-will-notice, won't-make-any-difference, who-gives-a-s#i+ sort of way

"Well, if that scenario evolves, then I think it’s obvious that we would have to leave because — if it was an elected government of Iraq — and we’ve been asked to leave other places in the world... I don’t see how we could stay when our whole emphasis and policy has been based on turning the Iraqi government over to the Iraqi people."
-- McCain, 2004

"[V]oters care about [the] military, not about Iraqi leaders."
-- McCain, 2008

Charles Krauthammer: A Douchebag of Liberty

Obama isn't close to earning his stripes

...has there ever been a presidential nominee with a wider gap between his estimation of himself and the sum total of his lifetime achievements?

Smiff's response at the soon-to-be slimmer, news-free Trib:
That would be the current president, a man I am sure Krauthammer voted for twice. Bush 43 had ZERO accomplishments as governor or in business, but that was good enough for Mr. Krauthammer in 2000 and 2004. Bush proceeded to become the worst president we've ever had, and it's not even close. While Obama might be inexperieced, he at least has something that Bush has never had: intellect and a brain. McCain does have this, but agrees with Bush on nearly every issue. Krauthammer wants more of that? How do morons like this still have nationally syndicated columns??

Dey need dis in India

Since they will be answering all our calls...

How not to do an American accent

I'm sure the video is entertaining. I can't get the sound to work on my computer...

will it come with a free donut?

Trib buries news in redesign test
Crain's, July 21, 2008

The new face of the Chicago Tribune is taking shape, as staffers at the newspaper put the finishing touches on a prototype set for a test run in the next few weeks.

Crain's has learned that Tribune Co. will try out some dramatic changes in the 161-year-old broadsheet in a Saturday edition by early August. A version under consideration devotes the paper's front section to consumer-oriented and entertainment features. Local, national, international and business news is consolidated in the second section. Weather leads the third section, which also includes comics and classifieds, while the sports section is converted to a tabloid format.

It's not clear how many of these changes will make it into the final version of the prototype, which a spokesman calls a "work in progress." But aspects of the prototype that prove popular with readers are likely to find their way into a full-scale redesign of all editions of the paper, which Tribune expects to debut by September.

Again???

Tattoo parlor sued again over misspelled tattoo

Hmm... I guess the monkeys with the typewriters had better get back to work.

help a moran

Still figuring out facecrap... Ok, Corms sent me a "movie compatibility" quiz, but i am already a flixster member and we're already friends there. I don't want to open another flixster account, so how do you link from facecrap to an existing flixster account? i looked and looked - doesn't appear to be an option. i'm using the same email address for both, so you'd think this would be easy. Please, help a moran...
~

The only thing worse than a whiner...

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit.

McCain adviser Gramm quits after 'whiners' remarks

By DEVLIN BARRETT, Associated Press Writer

Former Texas Sen. Phil Gramm resigned Friday from his role as GOP presidential candidate John McCain's campaign co-chairman, hoping to quiet the uproar that followed his comments that the United States had become a "nation of whiners" whose constant complaints about the U.S. economy show they are in a "mental recession." Gramm, a past presidential candidate, made the remarks more than a week ago. McCain immediately distanced himself from the comments, but they brought a steady stream of criticism just as McCain is trying to show he can help steer the country past its current financial troubles. Gramm said in a statement late Friday that he is stepping down to "end this distraction."

"It is clear to me that Democrats want to attack me rather than debate Senator McCain on important economic issues facing the country," Gramm said. "That kind of distraction hurts not only Senator McCain's ability to present concrete programs to deal with the country's problems, it hurts the country. To end this distraction and get on with the real debate, I hereby step down as co-chair of the McCain campaign and join the growing number of rank-and-file McCain supporters." Gramm made the comment to The Washington Times and later explained that he was talking about the nation's leaders not the American people. Democrats claimed at the time that the Gramm comments showed that McCain is out of touch with voters' concerns over high gas prices, the struggling housing industry and the shaky economy in general.

The campaign of Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said Gramm's departure will make little difference to McCain's economic policies. "The question for John McCain isn't whether Phil Gramm will continue as chairman of his campaign, but whether he will continue to keep the economic plan that Gramm authored and that represents a continuation of the polices that have failed American families for the last eight years," said Obama campaign spokesman Hari Sevugan.

Will we make dis list?

http://blogs.trb.com/news/local/chicagosbestblogs/

Or do we not count since we have members outside the area?

Goin' down...

US slips down development index

Now, is it just me, or is there a correlation between dis map and da red state/blue state map?

will Fung finally stop complaining?

CTA adds 15 new routes to Bus Tracker

(Crain’s) — The Chicago Transit Authority on Monday will add 15 bus routes to its Bus Tracker program.

The addition means that arrival times for nearly half of all 153 CTA bus routes can be tracked via the Internet at www.ctabustracker.com. . .

The routes that will be activated Monday are:

* No. 7 Harrison
* No. 8 Halsted
* No. 10 Museum of Science & Industry
* No. 12 Roosevelt
* No. 17 Westchester
* No. 18 16th Street/18th Street
* No. 38 Ogden/Taylor
* No. 52 Kedzie/California
* No. 125 Water Tower Express
* No. 126 Jackson
* No. 129 West Loop/South Loop
* No. 146 Inner Drive/Michigan Express
* No. 147 Outer Drive Express
* No. 148 Clarendon/Michigan Express
* No. 156 LaSalle

TGIF? Yes, but everything sucks everywhere...

• Quitter: In dramatic shift, Bush agrees to time 'horizon' on Iraq troop cuts
• Crane collapses at Houston refinery, killing 4, injuring 6
• Gasoline prices in remote Alaska village hit $8.55 a gallon
• Rejected baby panda adopted by house cat dies in Amsterdam

More local Starbucks to close
18 area stores are on the hit list. Map (where K-Mad won't be)
Hundreds of baby penguins washing up dead on Brazil's tropical beaches
Red Line weekend reroutes
RTA officials warn of service cuts, fare hikes
Fan who won contest, sang at Wrigley dies at age 23 (he will be missed)
McCain discusses tough economy with auto workers
"Straight Talk: Fellas, time to find a millionaire beer heiress."
Phil Rogers: Phil Rogers' midseason baseball awards
MVPs: J.D. Drew & Pat Burrell: funny, funny stuff
(Hamilton, Kinsler, Chipper, Berkman et al.: don't play on contending teams... woops, Phil's feeding tube has fallen out...)

County jobless rate at highest level in 13 years Unemployment in San Diego County last month jumped to its highest level in 13 years, fueled by year-to-year declines in construction and real estate, according to data released by the state. (Let's see: Republican President, Republican Governor, Republican Mayor...)
It's cool now, but it's going to get muggy (PHOKK!)
California: Measure to prohibit gay unions is trailing (whaaa, well, there's still time for the troglodyte ads to hit the airwaves...)
Norman, Duval turn back clock at British Open No Tiger? Old white guys in contention...YAY.
Eye gnats hit Jacumba
12 San Diego-area Starbucks listed for closure...
~

the troops must really be loving all this supporting of them we're doing (we know you're busy - you can thank us later)

Electrical Risks at Iraq Bases Are Worse Than Said

WASHINGTON — Shoddy electrical work by private contractors on United States military bases in Iraq is widespread and dangerous, causing more deaths and injuries from fires and shocks than the Pentagon has acknowledged, according to internal Army documents.

During just one six-month period — August 2006 through January 2007 — at least 283 electrical fires destroyed or damaged American military facilities in Iraq, including the military’s largest dining hall in the country, documents obtained by The New York Times show. Two soldiers died in an electrical fire at their base near Tikrit in 2006, the records note, while another was injured while jumping from a burning guard tower in May 2007.

And while the Pentagon has previously reported that 13 Americans have been electrocuted in Iraq, many more have been injured, some seriously, by shocks, according to the documents. A log compiled earlier this year at one building complex in Baghdad disclosed that soldiers complained of receiving electrical shocks in their living quarters on an almost daily basis.
. . .

Heather Browne, a KBR spokeswoman, would not comment about a company safety study or the reports of electrical fires or shocks, but she said KBR had found no evidence of a link between its work and the electrocutions. She added, “KBR’s commitment to the safety of all employees and those the company serves remains unwavering.”

your bad day at work is not as bad as this guy's bad day at work

Gun briefing backfires in China

Three Chinese reporters attending a police briefing on the success of an anti-gun campaign were accidentally shot, media reports say.

why the Chicago Tribune will survive

It captures the pulse of the city (for as long as we have one).

A field guide to Chicago's doughnuts
~

Now this is a movie review...

From San Diego's weekly, lefty rag, CityBeat:

Beck '08: Just so we're clear: Glenn Beck is a total fucking dickhead, and we wouldn't include his bullshit here if it weren't for our self-imposed total-coverage mandate. His one-man comedy show is being simulcast live in theaters across the country on Thursday, July 17 [damn! missed it--ed.]... But seriously? Stay home. Fuck that guy."

Glenn Beck? Comedy show?? Can I stab out my own eyes instead? Well, might be good for a drinking game: you drink every time he makes a Obama/Osama "joke". Funny stuff, i'm sure...
~

why didn't smarty-pants McClure pfink of dis one?

Last-Ditch Resort: Move Polar Bears to Antarctica?

~

Phitin' Phils!

They can plan the parade now. Somewhere I know Smiff is smiling. No more Adam Eaton. Blanton can stop getting pounded in that bandbox Coliseum against that insanely strong hitting American League West - with its Seattles and Los Angeles Anaheim Californias and its Texasses and start carving up the competition in the NL East at the Philly Canyon. This guy's gonna last Smiff says. He's no Rich Harden.

No. No he's not.

A’s trade Blanton to Phillies
By JANIE McCAULEY, AP Sports Writer Jul 17, 8:03 pm EDT


OAKLAND, Calif. (AP)—The Oakland Athletics traded away their second starting pitcher this month, dealing burly right-hander Joe Blanton to the Philadelphia Phillies for three minor leaguers on Thursday.

A’s general manager Billy Beane swapped Blanton a week after sending Rich Harden to the Chicago Cubs—and that’s with his team very much in contention in the AL West, six games behind the first-place Los Angeles Angels.

“Philadelphia was aggressive,” Oakland assistant GM David Forst said. “They made it clear they needed a starting pitcher to help out and we were able to get the deal done.”

The minor leaguers involved are left-hander Josh Outman, who was in Double-A, and second baseman Adrian Cardenas and outfielder Matt Spencer, both players in Single-A.

The 27-year-old Blanton, a 14-game winner last season, was 5-12 with a 4.96 ERA in 20 starts for Oakland. He has underachieved in 2008 in his fifth big league season after being the opening day starter in March against the Boston Red Sox in Tokyo.

“We’ve been attempting to upgrade our rotation and we feel like we’ve done that,” Phillies assistant general manager Mike Arbuckle said. “We think Joe is a very strong, competitive pitcher that has the mental makeup to pitch productively in a pennant race. He pitches a lot of innings and takes some burden off the bullpen.”

Blanton—who is listed at 6-foot-3 and 225 pounds—had been scheduled to pitch Friday night against New York at Yankee Stadium in Oakland’s first game after the All-Star break. Forst said he had yet to discuss with manager Bob Geren who would fill Blanton’s spot in the rotation. Gio Gonzalez, a candidate to be promoted, has been pitching well for Triple-A Sacramento.

Both Blanton and Harden had been rumored to be on the trading block over the past year.

That dog don't hunt

Ready for the Next Mini-Maelstrom?

Dan Rather, on Morning Joe, just said something a handful of minutes ago that will dominate a lot of chatter today and will have implications for the race going forward. Asked by Tiki Barber about his take on Fox News' release of the Jesse Jackson off-camera video, Rather premised his take by noting that in today's 24/7 news media culture, you had better be ready for anything you say to be on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow, after being all over TV the day before.
Rather then proceeded to talk about his respect for Jesse Jackson, who had certainly "paved the way for Osama bin Laden." (Yes, the whole name.) Nobody reacted or said a word, and Rather did not notice. To drive the irony point home, he then finished by referring back to the "front page of the newspaper" a 2d time.
Rather has just given carte blanche for Republicans to "slip" and negate the hue and cry with "Rather made the slip too... innocent mistake!" Wonder if McCain himself will do it in one high profile way and Plead the Rather.

nothing that a little more folksy humor can't fix, or, poll results scientific (but funny)

News item: Obama backers more excited than McCain's, poll finds

WASHINGTON (AP) — John McCain is facing an excitement deficit.

While overall interest in the presidential campaign has swelled since last fall, backers of Barack Obama are more fired up and express more loyalty to their candidate than McCain's do, a poll by The Associated Press and Yahoo News showed Friday. In addition, individual groups backing Obama — African-Americans, Democrats and liberals — are more enthusiastic than whites, Republicans and conservatives, who are more aligned with McCain, the GOP senator from Arizona.

We see nothing

The Federal Defense of Marriage Act will prevent 2010 census takers from taking into account married gay couples and married gay families. Hmm. State law regulates marriage. Unfortunately, the Old Testament regulates Federal law, and Federal law can preempt state law. (It really doesn't on the topic of marriage, but what the heck - right?). Gay families who are legally married will be reclassified as unmarried. Gay families with biologically unrelated children will not be classified as families. Gay parents with biologically related children will be classified as single parent families.

*

Of course refusing to see reality is priceless. The report doesn't ask about sexuality, but for now all gay married couples will still be counted/viewed as either unmarried, outraging the right, single parents, outraging the right or worst of all two gay adults who happen to be living with some kids - who probably need to be removed. And because the census controls how money flows - the failure to recognize reality will have some kind of monetary effect.

*

I for one plan on refusing to report to the census my marital status. I may just refuse to respond to any question other than with a nasty letter. This is stupid beyond recognition. I figure the god of the Old Testament wouldn't recognize me being married anyway, what me constantly preaching heresy and blaspheming and everything, and ignoring probably the majority of the 10 Commandments. I'll have to look those up and figure that one out. I encourage others to do the same if you so choose (and to possibly entice other like minded individuals). It's not as hardcore as refusing to pay taxes, but I don't think they throw you in jail for it either. If I could switch to a civil union I would do it. God has nothing to do with my marriage.

"libarry?"

Does KO read LoC? Well if so... you and Rachel are awesome.

Suckers (cont)

Dere's still a long line outside the Apple Store on da Mag Mile...

Cattle Cars R Comin...

Do you think standing-room-only trains will improve the commute?
Yes (942 responses) 35.2%
No (1731 responses) 64.8%
2673 total responses (Results not scientific, but idiotic)

Ok, it really is Smiff...

Being somewhat suspicious of spam in any format, I had trouble believing Smiff really had finally joined the dark side that is any social networking site invented post-Friendster.

But it's him - proof:

Smiff removed "King Crimson" from his favorite music.
Smiff added "King Crimson/Robert Fripp" to his favorite music.

That is awesome.

Things Younger than John McCain

The six-pack. Nachos. etc.


~

Contraception = Abortion

The Department of Health and Human Services has issued a proposal which allows federally funded health care providers to deny contraception on the grounds that it may be abortion. By redefining pregnancy to include fertilization before implantation, contraception becomes abortion.

My favourite part of the article linked above:

It now claims that pregnancy begins at some biologically unknowable moment (there's no test to determine if a woman's egg has been fertilized). Under these new standards there would be no way for a woman to prove she's not pregnant. Thus, any woman could be denied contraception under HHS' new science.

That is so beautiful. And if we really want to push the envelope and prevent abortions, I think we need to monitor women who could be aborting their children. All women of child bearing age should be incarcerated and under complete government control. I mean if they can't prove they aren't pregnant there is no reason to let them go walking around to their abortionists. Or even smoking, drinking or trying to stay slim rather than providing the care and nutrients that their possibly male sons could desperately need. Ug.

The End Times are so much closer now

"Smiff added you as a friend on Facebook. We need to confirm that you know Smiff in order for you to be friends on Facebook."

and P.S. Go phokk yourself.

Dear Mr. Smith:

Thank you for taking the time to contact me. I appreciate the opportunity to know your opinions on the pressing issues facing our nation. Regrettably, due to the huge volume of mail that I receive, I am only able to research and address comments sent to me from Connecticut residents. If you are not from Connecticut, you may want to consider sending a message to the Senators from your state of residence. You can do so by visiting the U.S. Senate page for a link to the web sites of each member of the United State Senate. If you are currently residing out of state, but are still a Connecticut resident or have a connection to Connecticut, please be certain to use your Connecticut address or indicate your Connecticut connection in the first paragraph of your email.

I value having the benefit of your thoughtful concerns, since I do receive detailed weekly reports from my staff providing a sampling of comments from across the country on timely issues before Congress.

Thank you again for sharing your views and concerns with me. I hope you will continue to visit my website at http://lieberman.senate.gov for updated news about my work on behalf of Connecticut and the nation. Please contact me if you have any additional questions or comments about our work in Congress.

Sincerely,

Joseph I. Lieberman
UNITED STATES SENATOR

~

Night of the Tiffees

Outfielders Matt LaPorta and Colby Rasmus were named to the U.S. Olympic Team on Wednesday. They'll be joined on the 23-man roster by C Lou Marson (Phillies), C Taylor Teagarden (Rangers), 3B-SS Brian Barden (Cardinals), 3B Matt Brown (Angels), SS Jason Donald (Phillies), 1B-3B Mike Hessman (Tigers), 3B Terry Tiffee (Dodgers), OF Dexter Fowler (Rockies) and OF John Gall (Marlins). The absence of true middle infielders is surprising. Chris Getz would have made sense as another option at second base instead of one of the redundant third basemen, with either Brown or Tiffee getting the axe. As is, we assume Donald will play second, with Barden at short. The pitchers are Brett Anderson (A’s), Jake Arrieta (Orioles), Trevor Cahill (A’s), Geno Espineli (Giants), Kevin Jepsen (Angels), Brandon Knight (Mets), Mike Koplove (Dodgers), Blaine Neal (Tigers), Clayton Richard (White Sox), Jeff Stevens (Indians), Casey Weathers (Rockies) and collegian Stephen Strasburg (San Diego State).

forecast: rain

Blackhawks to play at Wrigley Jan. 1

(AP) — Wrigley Field is going to be the frozen confines on New Year's Day when the defending Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings meet the Chicago Blackhawks outdoors in the Chicago Cubs' home park.

It will be the NHL's second Winter Classic. On January 1st in Buffalo, the Pittsburgh Penguins beat the Buffalo Sabres before a crowd of 71,217.

Blackhawks chairman Rocky Wirtz calls it a "once in a lifetime event" and says he expects the game to draw international interest.

The game will be televised nationally on NBC.

whiners in the news

A lot of people are are focusing on stuff like interest rates and commodity costs... you know, I'm a big believer in G.U.T.S.

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke said yesterday in Congress that inflation was a mounting concern, particularly given the escalation in prices for crude oil, basic food items and other commodities.

But growth has also ebbed, and Bernanke yesterday deemed it a "significant challenge" balancing between steps that might support growth -- such as lowering interest rates -- and those that might control rising prices.

"The June uptick in the core rate provides an early indication that the tidal surge in energy and other commodity costs are trickling through to consumer prices at large," Kenneth Beauchemin, U.S. economist for Global Insight, said in a research note today.

The inflation trend as well as the outlook for economic growth means that the Fed will likely not hike interest rates until 2009, he said. "Indeed, the remote chance for financial disaster in the coming months keeps a rate cut on the table," Beauchemin said.

Dis won't last

Gas-sipping golf carts winning over small towns

Though it probably should, I'd say these are what we should drive in and around the city. Get in the big cars when going long distance. I'm all for it. But it won't last.

A little tidbit that says a lot...

That we already know, but in a depressing way.

From McClatchy's Washington Bureau:

_ Retail sales were up a scant 0.1 percent in June, the Commerce Department reported Tuesday. Gas prices accounted for all the increase, Vitner said. "You take out gasoline prices and sales were down," he added.

Nevertheless, Bush boasted that tax-rebate checks were prodding spending.

I don't know how to say this, but I'll just say it: wouldn't Bush be a much better president if he would just acknowledge something of what's happening? He could acknowledge any truth and I would be happy. I seriously think that if his ideology told him the sky was full of chickens, he would call clouds feathers. And that would be that. It's just so depressing. And annoying.

PATHETIC

Jose Canseco was knocked out in the boxing ring in the 1st round by an NFL kicker who hasn't been in the league in years.

~

finally, some good news

The insufferable Billy Packer says he's done with broadcasting.

~

Is Fung voting for McCain?

Sarge sez: "Fung is pissy about Twitter. Won't tweet Smiff."

~

Bud Selig remains brain-dead (cont'd)

Could be headed towards another tie. And yet, this determines which league has home field advantage in the World Series. Another BRILLIANT move, Bud (the "traditionalist"). Go phokk yourself, moron.

In related news, why are these guys All-Stars:

Kosuke Fukudome (Cubs fanz...brain-free)
Alfonso Soriano (see Fuku)
Cristian Guzman (he's been an All-Star twice?)
Miguel Tejada (maybe 3 years ago)
Brian Wilson (the Giants sent Lincecum, so why this guy? He SUCKS.)
Carlos Marmol (maybe a month ago)
Billy GUTLESS Wagner (if what Clint Hurdle said is true, why is Mr. Gutless on the team? Funny. Who TOTALLY SUCKED and allowed the tying run to score? Thanks Billy, you phokking brain-dead HICK moron.)
Ichiro Suzuki (the most overrated player anywhere? if he's not hitting .340 he's pretty worthless)
Derek Jeter (and his .740 OPS? PATHETIC. Yankees fans SUCK.)
Jason Varitek (batting avg. is a poor measure of a player's worth, but .219?)
Michael Young (.777 OPS? not that good)
Joe Crede (is this a joke?)
Carlos Guillen (ok, but an All-Star? no...)

Oh yeah, Cristian Guzman has NEVER played 3rd base in the majors. But he's there tonight. And this game determines who has home field advantage in the World Series? So remarkably brain-dead you would think Bud was in the Bush Administration (i know he's a Democrat, but that must be a Joe Lieberman "Democrat", right?). Maybe a couple of these guys should play the WHOLE game so you don't run out of players? Maybe use some relief pitchers more than one inning? Maybe get Bud a brain transplant?

Oh yeah, it's almost 1am in NYC...

On da udder hand, Guzman is picking it at 3rd...

~

Is Rodney Pete next?

Bears sign running back insurance in Jones

Perhaps this is the first step in aquiring Julius Jones and Thomas Jones... Then we'd play all three of them at the same time in a T-Formation.

Speaking of desperate, there's a guy in my neighborhood who I keep seeing... wearing a Kordel Stewart jersey. (Pittsburgh).

YIKES!

because he'll get tough with Czechoslovakia

And they trust him to deal at long last with the Habsburg Empire...

While 56 percent said Obama knows enough about world affairs to be a good president, more, 72 percent, said so about McCain. Pitted head-to-head on the issue, McCain was judged as the one with better knowledge of the world by a better than 2 to 1 margin.

Wishing Senator Lieberman would go sell used cars...

So I'm at Huffington Post while I eat some Cap'n Crunchberries (the best version of that cereal, I believe) and I come across this asshat:

Lieberman Rips Obama: His Lack Of Conviction Puts Nation In Peril
July 15, 2008 02:23 PM

Despite rumblings that his advocacy for John McCain could lead to his ouster from the Democratic Party, Joseph Lieberman continued on Tuesday to take broad swipes at Barack Obama.

In a speech before the Center for U.S. Global Engagement, Lieberman described the presumptive Democratic nominee as a politician who was consistently wrong on foreign affairs and whose policy proposals -- had they been put in place - would have put America at great risk.

"I've been following Sen. Obama's comments in this campaign and particularly in the last months since the primaries were over," said Lieberman. "And I wish he would just say that the surge has worked. He doesn't have to give credit to John McCain or anyone else. He can give credit to General Petraeus and the troops who have carried it out. I wish he would acknowledge the surge is working, rather than changing his position on how and when we should exit Iraq, without acknowledging that these are changes of positions that are understandably based on conditions on the ground. A president's credibility is based on the courage of his or her convictions, his or her acceptance of reality, and consistency of views are critical elements of national leadership. A president who squanders those does so at our nation's peril."

Lieberman's remarks came just hours after Obama had delivered a foreign policy address of his own, in which the Illinois Democrat reiterated his desire to see a responsible phased withdrawal of troops from Iraq and a greater emphasis on the conflict in Afghanistan.

Working off of Obama's address, Lieberman accused him not only of being unwilling to acknowledge the success of the troop surge, but also for being inconsistent in his foreign policy approach. The 2000 Democratic vice presidential nominee then offered nearly half a dozen direct questions to the Illinois Democrat that mimicked, in large part, talking points that the McCain campaign has been using with great frequency.

"Sen. Obama said this morning that he wants a foreign policy that is tough, smart and principled," said Lieberman. "This afternoon I want to ask my colleague who I respect and like a couple of direct questions: Was it tough when Sen. Obama voted to order U.S. troops to retreat from Iraq on a fixed timeline regardless of the recommendations of our military commanders or conditions on the ground? Was it smart when Sen. Obama opposed the surge and predicted that it would fail to improve our security? ... Was it tough and principled when Sen. Obama said he would be open to changing his plan on Iraq after going there and talking to General Petraeus, which I think was the right position, only to change that position hours later after being heatedly criticized by organizations like MoveOn.org? I say respectfully the answer to all those questions is, no."

************

I wish I could say I was at a more intelligent site, or more obscure, to keep up my indiecred - but whatever - I was so pissed off (I'm listening to Elf Power! And The Only Ones! - really really indie) - I just wanted to scream about this asshat, and maybe watch as a cosmic hand of higher order slapped off the idiotic sense of right he wears on his face like a lapel pin. All I could do was write his office. I feel weak and annoyed right now. He just deserves to have shit thrown on him. Everyday.:


Sen. Lieberman,

I just wanted to let you know what a poor Senator you are and how typically shallow your stances are in the McCain campaign. Lack of convictions? Do you mean like the tax breaks McCain now favors? Or his views on gays?

And your "I told Obama I was in the Civil Rights" - could you be more condescending?

I used to hope that Senators might be a little smarter than the average guy in the street - used to believe that just perhaps we elected those among us we felt best represented us - you disprove that theory so spectacularly that it depresses me.

You're a political opportunist who picked the wrong time to switch sides and is stuck now out of pride. I wish I could use stronger language about you, but my respect for your office prevents me.

I will only say, I pray that one day you will have no reason to regret your stances, only that they were yours, and to be thankful that smarter, braver voices prevailed.

Andrew Decker

I'm guessing he also likes guys who are ballplayers

Clint Hurdle said he consulted with several people when putting together his National League batting order. Oakland GM Billy Beane probably was not one of them.

"You look at the numbers that many of these men have put up," Hurdle said. "(But) you know, I’m a big fan—I hear about OPS, OBP—I’m a big fan of G-U-T-S. I like guts."

Watch a true asshole!

He even hints at the new welfare queen! The American family farmer. I mean, at this point, it's not even grasping at straws - it's just humping the money barrel.

Dick Cheney out in daylight risking exposure to the purifying rays of the sun, or, not on vacation - scouring pony camps for the next FEMA director

Dick Cheney, Still Rested and Ready for Duty

Give Vice President Dick Cheney credit for sticking to his heart healthy diet. Just look at this great picture of the fit veep. This was taken at a Maryland pony camp he was visiting this month. . .

"It's quite nice to see that he is just like us sometimes," says mom Jeanne Coley.

Only 12?

Believe it or not

News Item: Twelve percent of Americans still believe Barack Obama is a Muslim.

Ignorant, and proud.
~

Good Morning!

(CBS) Afghan President Hamid Karzai's government on Monday directly accused Pakistan's intelligence agency of being behind a recent series of attacks by Taliban militants that has killed scores of people, reports CBS News' Sami Yousafzai. . .

A statement from the cabinet sent to CBS News said Afghan leaders had done their best during the last six-and-a-half years to stay away from a war of words with Pakistan and maintain a friendly relationship with its neighbor. But, according to the statement, the ISA and Pakistan's army have continued to interfere in Afghanistan's internal affairs. . .

The statement, provided to CBS News by the cabinet secretary, claimed the people of Afghanistan and "the international community" were now sure that Pakistan has "not only become a safe haven for terrorists but it also exports terrorism."

i dunno, but it's certainly the most whining i've ever heard...

Is this the worst economy in our lifetime?
For many Americans this feels like the worst economic crisis since at least the 1970s, and some leading investors are starting to say they may be right. “It is the most serious financial crisis of our lifetime,” says billionaire investor (tarrist-lovin', pinko-commie--ed.) George Soros.

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How did John McCain get on the internets?

Exactly right, again.

It Takes a School, Not Missiles
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: July 13, 2008

Since 9/11, Westerners have tried two approaches to fight terrorism in Pakistan, President Bush’s and Greg Mortenson’s.

Mr. Bush has focused on military force and provided more than $10 billion — an extraordinary sum in the foreign-aid world — to the highly unpopular government of President Pervez Musharraf. This approach has failed: the backlash has radicalized Pakistan’s tribal areas so that they now nurture terrorists in ways that they never did before 9/11.

Mr. Mortenson, a frumpy, genial man from Montana, takes a diametrically opposite approach, and he has spent less than one-ten-thousandth as much as the Bush administration. He builds schools in isolated parts of Pakistan and Afghanistan, working closely with Muslim clerics and even praying with them at times.

The only thing that Mr. Mortenson blows up are boulders that fall onto remote roads and block access to his schools.

Mr. Mortenson has become a legend in the region, his picture sometimes dangling like a talisman from rearview mirrors, and his work has struck a chord in America as well. His superb book about his schools, “Three Cups of Tea,” came out in 2006 and initially wasn’t reviewed by most major newspapers. Yet propelled by word of mouth, the book became a publishing sensation: it has spent the last 74 weeks on the paperback best-seller list, regularly in the No. 1 spot.

Now Mr. Mortenson is fending off several dozen film offers. “My concern is that a movie might endanger the well-being of our students,” he explains.

Mr. Mortenson found his calling in 1993 after he failed in an attempt to climb K2, a Himalayan peak, and stumbled weakly into a poor Muslim village. The peasants nursed him back to health, and he promised to repay them by building the village a school.

Scrounging the money was a nightmare — his 580 fund-raising letters to prominent people generated one check, from Tom Brokaw — and Mr. Mortenson ended up selling his beloved climbing equipment and car. But when the school was built, he kept going. Now his aid group, the Central Asia Institute, has 74 schools in operation. His focus is educating girls.

To get a school, villagers must provide the land and the labor to assure a local “buy-in,” and so far the Taliban have not bothered his schools. One anti-American mob rampaged through Baharak, Afghanistan, attacking aid groups — but stopped at the school that local people had just built with Mr. Mortenson. “This is our school,” the mob leaders decided, and they left it intact.

Mr. Mortenson has had setbacks, including being kidnapped for eight days in Pakistan’s wild Waziristan region. It would be naïve to think that a few dozen schools will turn the tide in Afghanistan or Pakistan.

Still, he notes that the Taliban recruits the poor and illiterate, and he also argues that when women are educated they are more likely to restrain their sons. Five of his teachers are former Taliban, and he says it was their mothers who persuaded them to leave the Taliban; that is one reason he is passionate about educating girls.

So I have this fantasy: Suppose that the United States focused less on blowing things up in Pakistan’s tribal areas and more on working through local aid groups to build schools, simultaneously cutting tariffs on Pakistani and Afghan manufactured exports. There would be no immediate payback, but a better-educated and more economically vibrant Pakistan would probably be more resistant to extremism.

“Schools are a much more effective bang for the buck than missiles or chasing some Taliban around the country,” says Mr. Mortenson, who is an Army veteran.

Each Tomahawk missile that the United States fires in Afghanistan costs at least $500,000. That’s enough for local aid groups to build more than 20 schools, and in the long run those schools probably do more to destroy the Taliban.

The Pentagon, which has a much better appreciation for the limits of military power than the Bush administration as a whole, placed large orders for “Three Cups of Tea” and invited Mr. Mortenson to speak.

“I am convinced that the long-term solution to terrorism in general, and Afghanistan specifically, is education,” Lt. Col. Christopher Kolenda, who works on the Afghan front lines, said in an e-mail in which he raved about Mr. Mortenson’s work. “The conflict here will not be won with bombs but with books. ... The thirst for education here is palpable.”

Military force is essential in Afghanistan to combat the Taliban. But over time, in Pakistan and Afghanistan alike, the best tonic against militant fundamentalism will be education and economic opportunity.

So a lone Montanan staying at the cheapest guest houses has done more to advance U.S. interests in the region than the entire military and foreign policy apparatus of the Bush administration.

I invite you to comment on this column on my blog, www.nytimes.com/ontheground, and join me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/kristof.

same old brain-deadness keeps getting in the way

Committee says fuzzy memories hurt Tillman probe

SAN FRANCISCO - A "striking lack of recollection" by White House and military officials prevented congressional investigators from determining who was responsible for misinformation spread after the friendly fire death of Army Ranger Pat Tillman, a House committee said Monday.

Although military investigators determined within days that the onetime NFL player was killed by his own troops in Afghanistan following an enemy ambush, five weeks passed before the circumstances of his death were made public. During that time, the Army claimed Tillman was killed by enemy fire.

Rep. Henry Waxman, chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, said in April 2007 that his goal was to discern the genesis of the misinformation. "Was it the result of incompetence, miscommunication or a deliberate strategy?" he said.

The panel acknowledged Monday it had fallen short of this goal. The committee received a flurry of White House e-mails sent as the Bush administration responded to Tillman's death, but no documents about friendly fire. The committee interviewed several top White House officials about the case, but "not a single one could recall when he learned about the fratricide or what he did in response," it said in its 48-page report.

The committee reported a similar lack of information relating to misinformation surrounding Pvt. Jessica Lynch, who was rescued from an Iraqi hospital after she was badly injured and captured in a 2003 ambush. The committee examined how the story of the ambush of her convoy was changed into a tale of heroism on her part.

"As the committee investigated the Tillman and Lynch cases, it encountered a striking lack of recollection," the report said.

regarding Brett Favre's (non-)retirement (cont'd)

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you'd think a black guy had never been a nominee for president before, or, John McLaughlin: an @ss#ole on the outside, an @ss#ole on the inside

As the cable news channels began filling up valuable airtime Monday with discussions of the appropriateness of a New Yorker cover depicting Barack Obama burning an American flag in the Oval Office, under a portrait of Osama bin Laden, another important story was largely ignored by the mainstream media - that of a veteran media personality injecting racially divisive stereotypes into a discussion of Sen. Obama.

This weekend on The McLaughlin Group, the program's host, John McLaughlin, asserted that Obama "fits the stereotype blacks once labeled as an Oreo -- a black on the outside, a white on the inside."

Iron City not even close...

The World's Worst Beers

Of those beers with alcohol and more than 100 votes (or close), the absolute worst are:

Natural Light (AB)
Michelob Ultra (AB)
Natural Ice (AB)
Milwaukee's Best (Miller)
Busch Ice (AB)
Coors Aspen Edge (Coors)
Bud Ice Light* (AB)
Old Milwaukee Ice (Miller)
Bud Light (AB)
Busch Light (AB)
Milwaukee's Best Light (Miller)

*Is this one even a beer?

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add coffee shops to the list of things that aren't what they used to be

News item: Starbucks to debut smoothies Tuesday

(Crain’s) — Starbucks Corp. plans to introduce a new line of smoothies Tuesday called Vivanno.

The drinks are the latest push by Starbucks CEO and founder Howard Schultz to boost sluggish sales at the Seattle-based coffee chain. The smoothies illustrate Starbuck’s strategy of offering more zzzzzzzzzzzzz........

Face time with Cheney: not a YOOOGE amount, just a couple hunnert thousand

In New Headache for SMU's Bush Library, Lobbyist Hints at Cash-for-Meetings Deal

Do you want Vice President Dick Cheney’s undivided attention for an hour? Stephen P. Payne, a Texas-based lobbyist, has some advice about how to grease the wheels for such a meeting: Make a six-figure donation to the George W. Bush Presidential Center, a library and museum complex that is scheduled to be built at Southern Methodist University.

When Mr. Payne made that suggestion in a London restaurant last week, he thought he was talking to an agent of the exiled president of Kyrgyzstan. He was actually speaking with undercover representatives of The Times of London, which has posted a video of the encounter.

“I think that the [exiled president’s] family, children, whatever, should probably look at making a contribution to the Bush library,” Mr. Payne says in the video. “How big, I don’t know. It would be like maybe a couple of hundred thousand dollars, something like that. Not a huge amount, but enough to show that they’re serious.”

Mr. Payne, a member of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s Secure Borders and Open Doors Advisory Committee, (Open Doors - I get it! Good one! Try the veal! Ed.) runs a Houston lobbying firm called Worldwide Strategic Partners. He has no affiliation with the George W. Bush Presidential Library Foundation or with Southern Methodist. In a statement released on Sunday, Mr. Payne argues that he was entrapped (puzzled? Ed.) by the Times agents’ “bizarre leading questions and strange hypothetical comments.”
. . .

Last year the U.S. House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed a bill that would require transparency in donations to presidential libraries. There has been no Senate vote because Sen. Ted Stevens, a Republican of Alaska, has placed a hold on the measure (SHOCKING! Ed.). . .

at the break...

What is the most shocking: Smiff in 1st (again), Decker in 2nd, K-Mad in 4th or Corms in dead freakin' last?

Wellness Center All-Stars

Rank Team Points Pts Change Waiver Moves
1. Lord Viper Elefantes 202 2.5 12 31
2. Blue Ward Cyclones 196 0.5 4 7
3. Golemi Topki 187.5 -2 7 16
4. Troglodyte Homunculi 175.5 0 9 37
5. shot_at_bill 171.5 2.5 10 38
6. Spackler Bents 169 0 3 16
7. Columbus Bureaucrats 161 0.5 6 8
8. La Jolla Chemists 145.5 -1 5 25
9. Coach #31 137 -0.5 11 22
10. clan of terrorists 117 -4 2 23
11. Mr. Baby's Fortune 111.5 0.5 1 16
12. Maddogs 98.5 1 8 28

As Smiff knows, I had just inserted him into the Smelts' starting lineup on Saturday

News item: Jerry Hairston Jr. has a strained right hamstring. He is scheduled to be reexamined on Monday and undergo an MRI.

Hairston was trying to leg out a bunt towards the left side and grabbed his leg just before he reached first base. He crumpled to the ground a few steps after he touched the bag, screaming "Damn you K-Mad! Dammmn Yoooouuu!."

Annudder vote against it

Someone at work said that Iron City was the worst beer they'd ever tasted. "Like they took it out of whatever that river is, Allegenhy?" What's the running tally of yea vs nay on dat beer? Fung is, of course, neutral in dis affair...

didn't we invent the internets? (specifically, I believe it was Al Gore)

News item: Nations in Europe and Asia our “cleaning our clock” on broadband deployment, competition, speeds and prices...

Attacks in Afghanistan are becoming more complex, intense, coordinated

I like how the draw down in Iraq is going to result in more troops to send to Afghanistan and to show that we have won the war there. And I thought we already won in Afghanistan too.

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What kind of legacy is it to loose one war per term?

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And I've often wondered what a majority of Americans would say if surveyed on whether we can achieve victory in Iraq if it remains a Muslim nation, but maybe I'm just too jaded.

Bud sold to the Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards!?!?!

What's next - apple pie and hot dogs sold to the Germans? Just pathetic...

Anheuser-Busch being sold to InBev for $52B

BRUSSELS, Belgium - The maker of the King of Beers has agreed to go to work for the Belgian brewer InBev SA.

Anheuser-Busch Cos. said early Monday it had agreed to a sweetened $52 billion takeover bid from InBev, creating the world's largest brewer and heading off what was shaping up as an acrimonious fight for the maker of Budweiser and Bud Light beers. Inbev brands include Stella Artois, Beck's and Bass.

The combined company will be called Anheuser-Busch InBev. As of the end of last week, InBev said it would be the world's third largest consumer products company by market capitalization after Procter & Gamble of the United States and Nestle SA of Switzerland.
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President throws drilling wide open

Unfortunately, this makes Corporal's electrical dream car a little less necessary. But it does raise some intriguing questions regarding Bush's remaining single daughter. Damn you Henry Chase Hager. Damn you to hell.

added to k-mad's America-hating book list

The Outlaw Presidency

By Dan Froomkin
Special to washingtonpost.com
Monday, July 14, 2008; 12:47 PM

Another major book chronicling the descent into lawlessness of the Bush presidency is out this week. This one is by Jane Mayer of the New Yorker, and it's called "The Dark Side: The Inside Story of How the War on Terror Turned into a War on American Ideals." . . .

"The biggest torture-fueled wild-goose chase, of course, is the war in Iraq. Exhibit A, revisited in 'The Dark Side,' is Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi, an accused Qaeda commander whose torture was outsourced by the C.I.A. to Egypt. His fabricated tales of Saddam's biological and chemical W.M.D. -- and of nonexistent links between Iraq and Al Qaeda -- were cited by President Bush in his fateful Oct. 7, 2002, Cincinnati speech ginning up the war and by Mr. Powell in his subsequent United Nations presentation on Iraqi weaponry. Two F.B.I. officials told Ms. Mayer that Mr. al-Libi later explained his lies by saying: 'They were killing me. I had to tell them something.'"

And, if Bush is playing rope-a-dope with the press, it seems the America-haters may finally have punched themselves out...

. . . a polemic with the provocative title 'The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder,' has risen to best-seller status with nary a peep from the usual outlets that help sell books: cable television and book reviews in major daily newspapers....

"Mr. Bugliosi, in a recent telephone interview from his home in Los Angeles, said he had expected some resistance from the mainstream media because of the subject matter - the book lays a legal case for holding President Bush 'criminally responsible' for the deaths of American soldiers in Iraq - but not a virtual blackout...

"The editor of Newsweek, Jon Meacham, said he had not read the manuscript, but he offered a reason why the media might be silent: 'I think there's a kind of Bush-bashing fatigue out there.'"