Is there a 60-Month DL?

News item: Conor Jackson, Ari: Transferred to 60-Day DL (Pneumonia, Desert Fever, Catarrh, the Screaming S#i+s, K-Mad's Palsy, H5N1 Pandemic SUCKS, etc...)

WHO declares SUCKS pandemic

06.16: SI.com is reporting that season-ending surgery is still a possibility for Prairie Chickens' starter Jake Peavy. Peavy and the Chix'zz medical staff will do everything in their power to rehab the injury without surgery, but the possibility still exists that it could be necessary if the ankle does not properly heal (see also: Wheelchair Baseball).

the mystical middle-eye-in-the-center-of-the-forehead wisdom of Dusty

John Fay of the Cincinnati Enquirer reports that Laynce Nix may have supplanted Chris Dickerson as the Reds' left fielder.

"I talked to (Chris) Dickerson," Dusty Baker said. "I said, ‘Hey man, you’ve got to go back to work. Nix is going good right now.’ It’s about winning ballgames. I’m not saying it’s all his fault. But Nix is doing his thing." The late former k-madder Nix is hitting .353 despite his bout with a virulent strain of posthumous SUCKS, while Dickerson is batting just .217 with 21 strikeouts in 60 at-bats.

Edgewater Smelts: Cub-like exploits

Finish with the best record in the league, and get crushed in the first round of the playoffs.

It's official: Brett Myers SUCKS again

Top 1st: Atlanta
- J. Anderson doubled to deep right center
- K. Johnson singled to shallow right, J. Anderson to third
- M. Prado singled to center, J. Anderson scored, K. Johnson to third
- B. McCann struck out looking, M. Prado stole second
- C. Kotchman singled to right, K. Johnson scored, M. Prado to third
- O. Infante grounded into double play pitcher to shortstop to first, C. Kotchman out at second
2 runs, 4 hits, 0 errors
Atlanta 2, Philadelphia 0
~

Fun Horror Facts

AAA Catcher leads the Andersonville Horror in OPS. MI@@Y Montero is 2nd.

AAA Pitcher leads the team in walks, losses, and runs allowed. He is second in appearances (behind Joe Smiff!). He has stepped on a rake, fallen down the dugout steps, punched 23 Gatorade buckets, fallen from the upper deck, been run over by a bus, attacked by penguins, suffered a season-long imbalance of the humours, stapled his hand to a rosin bag, squirted suntan lotion into his eye, and been attacked by crabs, but has not spent a day on the disabled list.

SUCKS-like symptoms infest Team USA dugout

Night of the Tiffees Part II - The Horroring

With former/current K-Madders Tiffee, Koplove, LaPorta, Schierholtz, Marson, and most ominously, Dexter Fowler on his first day as a Prairie Chicken, these poor phokks never had a chance.

Jung Bong started for Korea. Winning pitcher: Y Suk Min.

Horrors in the News (cont'd)

News item: Eric Hurley (hamstring, SUCKS, botched alien rectal probe) was scratched from his scheduled start Monday and left on the DL because he's dealing with arm soreness.

It's supposed to be a mild problem, and Hurley thinks he'll take his next scheduled turn. However, the Rangers might now decide to have him pitch once more in the minors.

K-Mad Killer Update (cont'd)

General manager Omar Minaya said Thursday that Moises Alou has a torn left hamstring and will likely undergo season-ending surgery. Alou injured his hamstring Wednesday while playing in a minor league rehab game on his comeback from a strained calf. Even without going under the knife he's probably done for the year.
~

Take DAT Baku

(Crain’s) — Chicago’s Olympics dreams are still alive.
That’s the welcome — if expected — news from Athens, Greece, as the International Olympic Committee announced that Chicago is one of four finalists to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.

The Windy City joins Tokyo, Madrid and Rio de Janeiro on the short list of cities that have been found technically capable of hosting the 2016 games. All four cities have strong credentials, and the competition is likely to be close before a final decision is made in November 2009.

Eliminated were Prague, Czech Republic; Doha, Qatar, and Baku, Azerbaijan.

Note that the proposed venues include Huskie Stadium in DeKalb. Is it possible for the entire world to contract SUCKS?

add "injured right lat muscle" to the list of things that aren't what they used to be

News item: Ian Kennedy is headed to the disabled list after injuring his right lat muscle on Tuesday night, the New York Post reports.

Sounds like a bunch of stats geeks and nerds

Fantasy's Dose of Reality

Sustained Untreatable Communicable K-Mad Status (SUCKS) (cont'd)

Seeya, wouldn't want to beya...

Chad Tracy (knee, etc.) is suffering from a viral infection as he recovers from knee surgery. The infection is going through the Arizona clubhouse, but the setback will likely push Tracy's return into May. With Mark Reynolds off to a hot start, Tracy could be looking at a diminished role upon returning.

or, the hot Manhattan sun may bleach his bones

Brian Casman on Derek Jeter:

"Derek has a light quad strain, but it's a quad strain nonetheless. We are in no man's land. We aren't sure it's a (disabled list situation) or a three-, four- or five-day thing. Will it be better in five to seven days? Could it be three or four? Or is it seven or eight? We are taking it one day at a time. We could option somebody and bring Alberto Gonzalez. Or go with what we've got. We haven't decided one way or another yet."