D Battery Elected To Philadelphia Sports Hall Of Fame

PHILADELPHIA — A voting panel of journalists and prominent sports figures elected the D battery to the Philadelphia Sports Hall of Fame Sunday, honoring the alkaline storage cell's many achievements in pelting players from visiting teams.

"The D battery is as synonymous with Philadelphia sports as intoxicated fistfights, cheering for a severely injured player, or intentionally vomiting on a child," said Philadelphia sportswriter Ray Didinger, adding that the Hall of Fame plans to install an interactive exhibit that allows children to throw batteries at life-size cutouts of rival athletes. "Whipping the D battery at opposing players, coaches, or dumbshit referees is a crucial part of the experience for Philly fans. No other projectile has had the same impact on Phillies, Eagles, Flyers, or 76ers games. The D battery is an icon, representing the very best of Philly."

Da most iconic sammiches in Chicago

What makes a sammich iconic? A philosophical inquiry...
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"Handball, for us, has become not just a sport, but the core of the national spirit"

Following remarks made by Iceland's Olympic handball coach about the meaning of the sport, President Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson told the international press that handball is a defining sport for the Icelandic people, equivalent to "the core of the national spirit".

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Guðmundur Þ. Guðmundsson, Iceland's handball coach, has been quoted in the international media as saying, "We have no army in Iceland, so it's with handball we fight for the recognition," following the country's victory against Argentina yesterday.

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"Handball, for us, has become not just a sport, but the core of the national spirit," Grimsson says. "Can anyone honestly say the same about any single U.S. Olympic team? No way. I’m here not just as a great fan of the team," says the Icelandic president, "but to also pay homage to what they’ve done."

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When asked for final thoughts before the impromptu interview's close, the president remarked, "My last word to the American audience is to start playing handball. It’s a fun game."

#YOOOOGE rematch of 2008 men's #Olympics #handball final tomorrow! #Iceland vs. France! @smiff was right! I've been remiss!

And it's not in the middle of the night this time! 1:30pm CST (God's Time)!

Four teams reach quarterfinals at Olympic handball
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Get a brain, morans! #Amercia

Which animal is hating America today?

Good question! I was about to guess the beady-eyed, weasely wolverine, but it is in fact our frenemy the moose that is stabbing us in the back this time by linking antlers with the YOOOGE global warming HOAX Machine.

"As ruminants, moose have a complicated digestion system that affects their ability to self-cool, and their internal thermostats are triggered with even the smallest temperature shifts."

"Waaah - it's too hot out" ... ya gonna cry now?
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Which does the Chicago Tribune imitate less convincingly, the Onion or a real newspaper?

Iconic '90s Onion front page:
"New President feels Nation's pain, breasts"

Chicago Tribune front page today:
"TSA feels your pain, but..."

I phink not -- "Calling it 'The Big Willie' fine with Willis CEO"

Calling it 'The Big Willie' fine with Willis CEO

(Crain's) — Call it "Big Willie," Joseph Plumeri says of his latest high-profile acquisition, the naming rights to Sears Tower.

why the Chicago Tribune will survive

It captures the pulse of the city (for as long as we have one).

A field guide to Chicago's doughnuts
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Happy Bastille Day

world's tallest billboard?

"Both Tribune Tower and Times Mirror Square are iconic structures, deeply intertwined with the history of this company," Chairman and CEO Sam Zell wrote in an e-mail to employees, according to the release. "But they are also under-utilized, and as employee-owners, it's in our best interests to maximize the value of all our assets."