The all-time list of how poor suckers wound up here

Lattice of Coincidence ~ Search Keywords ~ All Time
lattice of coincidence 382
fuck you 191
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buckeyes suck 53
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henry chase hager (who? - ed.) 12
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Heartwarming!

like an approaching asteroid?

News item: "Nearly Headless" Nick Johnson is believed to be on the Mets' radar, according to Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports.

H@LY PHOKK!NG S#IT

Guess what? The New York Mets SUCK.

Things That Suck: The New York Mets (cont'd)

Chris Coste collected four hits on Tuesday night, the last of which drove in Shane Victorino with the winning run in an 8-7, 13-inning victory over the Mets that propelled the Phillies into first place in the AL East.
Coste didn't start in the game, but came on as a pinch-hitter in the eighth and delivered in all four of his at-bats. It was an extremely impressive game for the Phillies, who fell behind 7-0 early on but battled their way back and eventually tied the game on a pinch-hit RBI double from Eric Bruntlett with two outs in the bottom of the ninth. Victorino had tripled to lead off the thirteenth inning, at which point the Mets intentionally walked two straight hitters to get to the pitcher's slot. With the Phillies out of position players, Brett Myers pinch-hit and struck out, but Coste poked a ball over Carlos Beltran's head in the next at-bat to send the Phillies home victorious.

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Things That Suck: The New York Mets (cont'd)

Top 9th: Philadelphia
- D. Sanchez relieved J. Santana
- J. Werth singled to center
- G. Dobbs hit for P. Feliz
- G. Dobbs singled to center, J. Werth to second
- S. Victorino singled to center, J. Werth to third, G. Dobbs to second
- J. Smith relieved D. Sanchez
- C. Ruiz reached on fielder's choice, J. Werth scored, G. Dobbs to third, S. Victorino to second
- G. Jenkins hit for C. Durbin
- P. Feliciano relieved J. Smith
- S. Taguchi hit for G. Jenkins
- S. Taguchi doubled to deep right, S. Victorino and G. Dobbs scored, C. Ruiz to third
- J. Rollins doubled to left, S. Taguchi and C. Ruiz scored
- C. Utley grounded out to first, J. Rollins to third
- P. Burrell intentionally walked
- R. Howard grounded out to pitcher, J. Rollins scored, P. Burrell to second
- A. Heilman relieved P. Feliciano
- J. Werth walked
- G. Dobbs popped out to shortstop

6 runs, 5 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 8, NY Mets 5

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The New York Mets Suck (cont'd)

The Phillies aren't exactly tearing it up right now, but at least they lose to good teams. The Mets tonight were pummeled 11-0 at home by the worst team in baseball. The opposing pitcher: R.A. Dickey--yes, that R.A. Dickey. Even better, 49,386 idiotic, drooling troglodyte homunculi witnessed the ass-walloping.

R.A. Dickey blanked the Mets for seven innings on Tuesday night as the Mariners cruised to an 11-0 victory. In his three previous starts this season, Dickey had gone 0-3 with a 14.11 ERA. Tonight he finally got his knuckleball working and allowed just six hits and a pair of walks while striking out five over seven frames. He might get another shot because of tonight's start, but he's still a risky pick-up.

Jon Stewart: "The Mets suck."

Gandhi is back

Apparently, Omar Minaya feels that what the Mets need is someone even less fiery than Willie Randolph. Someone wake Jerry and tell him he's manager, would ya?

Mets fired manager Willie Randolph, pitching coach Rick Peterson and first-base coach Tom Nieto. A bizarre ending to what's turned into quite an embarrassment for the franchise. Randolph's tactics left a lot to be desired and the Mets may well be better off without him, but he didn't deserve to be treated this way over the last several weeks. The rumor all day was that Peterson and Nieto were out, but it appeared that Randolph would get another reprieve. Then the Mets make this announcement in the middle of the night after a victory. Former White Sox manager Jerry Manuel will take over for Randolph on an interim basis. As overmatched as he was in Chicago, it looks like a downgrade.

Also, Rick "The Genius" Peterson can be reunited with Victor Zambrano, currently sporting a 9.45 ERA at Colorado Springs, and continue to "straighten him out."

Things That Continue to Suck

The New York Muts, who were swept in FOUR games by the punchless San Diego Padres. Just pathetic.

Tony Clark hit a go-ahead three-run homer in the bottom of the eighth inning to propel the Padres to an 8-6 win over the Mets on Sunday. The Mets were up 6-4 entering the inning, but Duaner Sanchez gave up a double and a walk before departing with two outs. Billy Wagner entered, but a single by Jody Gerut scored one run and then Clark hit a homer to center to put the Padres ahead. The homer allowed rookie 'Che' Guevara to pick up his first big league win, and Trevor Hoffman pitched a scoreless ninth for the save. The Padres have won five straight games.

The Atlanta Braves, who were taken out behind the woodshed by the streaking Phillies (wtahc out, Cubbies!) in a three game sweep. Howard is starting to hit, and even Adam Eaton hasn't been awful. Wife-beater Bobby Cox was his usual pissed-off self in the dugout.

Shane Victorino drove in the game's go-ahead run with an RBI single in the top of the ninth of a 6-3 win over the Braves on Sunday. The two teams were tied at 3-3 until Victorino's single to center scored Eric Bruntlett to make it 4-3. Ryan Howard then added two runs of insurance with a double. Victorino also had two other singles, a stolen base, and three runs scored in the contest. Ryan Howard doubled three times to drive in four runs. With 49 RBI and 42 runs scored Howard is on pace to approximate his totals from last season.

Things That Suck: The New York Mets

Scott Schoeneweis, Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph. Remember when Schoeneweis totally sucked with the White Sox? He later sucked with the Reds, but the Mets still signed him to a 3 year, 10.8 mEEEEEELLLLion dollar contract (career ERA: 4.94). And then he proceeded to SUCK in his 1st year with the Muts. Was Omar Minaya on crack? There must be dozens of lefties in the minors who can do what he does (SUCK) for the league minimum. So... you have a pitcher that can't find the plate in a tie game (and you leave him in?), and then you intentionally walk the bases loaded. Yes, it sets up a force play, but if he can't throw a strike, what phokking difference does it make?

Paul McAnulty had a walkoff HBP against the Mets' Scott Schoeneweis in the Padres' 2-1 victory on Thursday. After entering a tie game, Schoeneweis walked the first two batters he faced and then failed on his first attempt to corral Adrian Gonzalez's shot up the middle, forcing him to settle for getting one out at first. An intentional walk to load the bases followed, and Schoeneweis' first pitch to McAnulty hit him up by his shoulder. It made a winner of Trevor Hoffman, who pitched a scoreless top of the ninth.

Cubs or Phillies: Who SUCKS More?

Talk amongst yourselves... though i blame society. Also, there's always next century.

I do know dis: neither suck as much as the CHOKING DOG NEW YORK METS. Remember that.

More good news: with the D-Backs & Rockies (can you say: "Zzzzzzzzzzzz...........") in the NLCS i doubt i will be watching much, if at all. Instead i can catch up with The Bionic Woman (i like me some Michelle Ryan). Which means:

1) NO TBS broadcasters. They all sound a like to me (meaning: Don Sutton) - i can't tell one from the other (except Chip Caray, and that's whole nudder level of annoyance). Though i don't know if TBS is even broadcasting the NLCS. Why are they broadcasting the division series anyway? Have we run out of channels or something?
2) NO more FrankTV ads. Ok, he does a good John Madden, but i don't need to be reminded every phokking half inning that his show starts November 20th. Where? on TBS!
3) NO Dane Cook promos. Yes, i suspect they will continue, which means i won't be watching any more baseball the instant i see his fucking face again (does anyone really think the NL will win this year? Oh ok, the Cards were a surprise last year, but at least they had Pujols and Carpenter. Arizona has Webb, and Colorado has Holliday. Dats about it.) Getting back to Dane Cook: HATE. LOATHING. And MORE HATE. Not funny, and can't act. This is the state of America today: Dane Cook has a career because people think he's funny or some shit. If you needed any more evidence of the fall of the American empire after George Bush was elected twice. More evidence: our currency is soon to be worth less dan phokking Canada...

dude, like the Mets, you SUCK

THE NEW YORK METS ARE CHOKING DOGS!

THE NEW YORK METS ARE CHOKING DOGS!

H O W S W E E P I T I S !!!

Here's a post for ya:

The Mets SUCK and Billy Wagner is a GUTLESS CHOKER!!!!!

Bottom 9th: Philadelphia
- J. Werth singled to left
- C. Ruiz flied out to deep center
- T. Iguchi hit for A. Nunez
- J. Werth stole second
- J. Werth stole third
- T. Iguchi singled to left, J. Werth scored
- T. Iguchi stole second
- J. Rollins intentionally walked
- C. Utley singled to right, T. Iguchi scored, J. Rollins to second

2 runs, 3 hits, 0 errors
NY Mets 10, Philadelphia 11

Brett Myers is the best pitcher in the game today.

Top 9th: NY Mets
- B. Myers relieved T. Gordon
- C. Delgado struck out swinging
- P. Lo Duca singled to right
- E. Chavez ran for P. Lo Duca
- M. Anderson hit for L. Milledge
- M. Anderson singled to right center, E. Chavez to third
- S. Green hit for J. Sosa
- S. Green grounded into double play shortstop to second to first, M. Anderson out at second

0 runs, 2 hits, 0 errors
NY Mets 2, Philadelphia 3

LIGHTS OUT CLOSER!

And da rotund rookie Zagurski i told you about got da win... not only dat, Billy Wagner (HYOOOGE @HOLE), blew the save for the Muts.

Bottom 10th: NY Mets
- M. Bourn in left field
- A. Alfonseca relieved M. Zagurski
- C. Beltran grounded out to second
- C. Delgado doubled to deep left center
- D. Wright grounded out to shortstop, C. Delgado to third
- P. Lo Duca grounded out to third

0 runs, 1 hits, 0 errors
Philadelphia 6, NY Mets 3