I'm sure this is all one big misunderstanding...

Lenny Dykstra Charged With 23 Counts By Los Angeles County

Dykstra is charged with five counts of attempted grand theft auto, eight counts of filing false financial statements, four counts of identity theft, three counts of grand theft auto and three counts of possession of a controlled substance. All are felonies.

In addition, he is charged with one misdemeanor count each of possession of a controlled substance without a prescription and unauthorized possession of a syringe.

~

I think the giveaway was when he started to grow a second head

The New York Phokking Times, citing lawyers with knowledge of test results, reports that Sammy Sosa is among the players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003. Though Sosa has been widely suspected of performance-enhancing drug use, this represents his first clear link to a positive test result. The 40-year-old, who announced his plans to retire from baseball earlier this month, is sixth on baseball's all-time home run list, with 609.
~

Translated: HE DID A SHITLOAD OF STEROIDS

Sammy Sosa said Wednesday that he's ready to announce his formal retirement from baseball.

"I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame," said a delusional Sosa. "I always played with love and responsibility and I assure you that I will not answer nor listen to rumors. If anything ugly comes up in the future, we will confront it immediately, but with all our strength because I will not allow anybody to tarnish what I did in the field."
~

Even Republicans are saying, "He's #UCK!NG N@TS!"

Republicans Look for a Reliever in Kentucky

WASHINGTON — One of the entrenched narratives in American politics is the case of the guy who refuses to quit, even though a lot of people on his own team want him gone.

While the Democrats are preoccupied with Senator Roland W. Burris and his ties to a tainted Illinois governor, the Republicans are trying to rid themselves of Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky, the former baseball star who clearly has little use for some colleagues and party leaders, and who keeps exhibiting what one senator calls “behavior issues.”

Key Republicans are gently (or not gently enough) trying to dissuade Mr. Bunning from seeking re-election in 2010 out of concern that his paltry fund-raising, declining approval ratings and irascible conduct have made him something between vulnerable and unelectable.

But in recent weeks, Mr. Bunning has shown no sign of stepping aside and delivered a string of incendiary pronouncements that have fed an impression that he is, to go with a baseball metaphor, a bit of a screwball."....

He's right about one thing:

“I don’t believe anything John Cornyn says,” Mr. Bunning fired back.

~

Brian Giles: A Shitstain of Humanity

Click on the link for the video of him punching his girlfriend to the ground. You stay classy, Brian.

Giles underwent anger management to resolve 2006 misdemeanor charge

Padres outfielder Brian Giles entered into a plea agreement for a misdemeanor domestic violence charge that stemmed from a video-recorded incident at a Phoenix bar on Aug. 27, 2006.
Giles, 37, was required to complete anger-management counseling as part of the deal in exchange for the case being dropped, said John Tutelman of the Phoenix city attorney's office. After his counseling was completed, the case was dropped this past February.
Giles' alleged domestic violence history has come to light after the former girlfriend, Cheri Olvera, recently sued him for more than $10 million, alleging a string of abuse, including batterings while she was pregnant.

Giles has had that look of a "totally on roids" candidate, given his power outage since 2002. Looks like it fried his brain, if it wasn't fried already. Wherever he's playing next year, he needs to be booed off the field and/or (car) batteries thrown at him.
~

roids are a terrible thing to waste on Clemensez brainz

Koby Clemens was among three Single-A players arrested Saturday night following an apparent bar fight. Clemens and Mark Ori were charged with disorderly conduct, while Jimmy Goethals was charged with assault and battery. All three players were benched for Salem's game Sunday and the team's season comes to a close Monday. A 21-year-old catcher, Clemens has hit .268/.369/.423 with seven homers and a 99/61 K/BB ratio in 109 games at Single-A.
~

PATHETIC

Jose Canseco was knocked out in the boxing ring in the 1st round by an NFL kicker who hasn't been in the league in years.

~

They couldn't help him spell cat if he was spotted the c and the t

Hall of Fame QB and good ol' boy studio host used steroids in the '70's.

If he were a baseball player there would be a congressional investigation along with calls to take his bust out of Cooperstown. But he was a football player so it won't get much play.