Surprise! Snarky Fox retort is fullas#i+

Shocking that the senior vice president of "news" editorial at Fox just makes up s#i+ off the top of his head

The study’s authors continued, “These effects increased incrementally with increasing levels of exposure (Fox Noise as radioactive waste ~ Ed.) and all were statistically significant. The effect was also not simply a function of partisan bias, as people who voted Democratic and watched Fox News were also more likely to have such misinformation than those who did not watch it — though by a lesser margin than those who voted Republican.”

Asked for comment on the study, Fox News seemingly dismissed the findings. In a statement, Michael Clemente, who is the senior vice president of news editorial for the network, said: “The latest Princeton Review ranked the University of Maryland among the top schools for having ‘Students Who Study The Least’ and being the ‘Best Party School’ – given these fine academic distinctions, we’ll regard the study with the same level of veracity it was ‘researched’ with.”

Mr. Clemente oversees every hour of objective news programming on Fox News (so he works, like, never? ~ Ed.), which is by far the nation’s most popular cable news channel.

For the record, the Princeton Review says the University of Maryland ranks among the “Best Northeastern Colleges.” It was No. 19 on the Review’s list of “Best Party Schools.”

And his father said unto him...BLAM!

Police: Man stabs son for wearing hat in church

BALTIMORE (AP) -- Police said a 58-year-old man stabbed his teenage son after he refused to take off his hat at church earlier in the day. The father and his 19-year-old son got into an argument on Sunday afternoon. That's when police said the father went to a car, got a knife and stabbed his son in the left buttock and fled.
The son was taken to University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment. The father's name was withheld pending his arrest.
~

troops? we don't need no stinkin troops

News item: Since 1994, 12,342 service men and women have been discharged, according to Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a gay rights group.

Mad Squirrel Disease?

MUNFORDVILLE, Ky. — To many white voters, race still matters

Terry Jordan, 47, who runs a year-round garage sale in front of an old filling station on Main Street, put it simply: "It's his color."

"Right now it's not that Hillary attracts the white vote," said Jack Bunnell, 79. "It's that Obama's black."

Few will express any particular dislike of black people, he said, but asking them to vote for a black man for president is simply too much of a leap: "They just aren't ready for it."

"I believe that he's a Muslim," said Susan Horton, 56 and white. She leaves her living room whenever Obama comes on the television. "I think that if he gets into office, there's going to be another bombing."

"He's not patriotic," said Brandy Trulock, a 21-year-old mother of two. "If you can't salute the American flag, I don't think you should be allowed to run for president."

too late

News item: A group of U.S. evangelical leaders called on Wednesday for a pullback from party politics so that followers would not become "useful idiots" exploited for partisan gain.

Shoulda played the game in San Diego or somewheres wif a dome, like, say Milwaukee...

Here we go again

Live play-by-play of the Chicago Cubs' home opener against Milwaukee. A second rain delay has halted play in the bottom of the third inning.

poll finds shocking idiocy rate of 32%

POLL: A New Low in Approval Starts Bush's Final Year

Beset by growing economic concerns on top of the long unpopular war in Iraq, President Bush starts the last year of his presidency with the worst approval rating of his career.

Just 32 percent of Americans now approve of the way Bush is handling his job, while 66 percent disapprove. Bush's work on the economy has likewise reached a new low. And he shows no gain on Iraq; despite reduced violence there, 64 percent say the war was not worth fighting, 2 points from its high.

The Brain-Dead GMs Steel Cage Death Match

Astros GM Ed Wade is in Los Angeles talking to free agents Kaz Matsui and Randy Wolf. It seems that the Astros and Matsui aren't quite as close to a deal as Tracy Ringolsby and Richard Justice indicated last night, so maybe the Cubs could still steal him away.

Pizza Man vs. Dead Weight: A Battle of Idiots for the Ages. Who is going to be the first to say "I am a moron" and sign Matsui to HYOOOGE contract he doesn't deserve? I mean, the guy had a couple of good months playing in Colorado. Before dat he totally sucked with the Mets, who traded him to the Rockies for--are you ready for this?--Eli Marrero. Do Messrs. Henry and Wade not have access to, i dunno, baseball-reference.com? Am i the only who can find this on the internets? Well, if anyone in the World Series-free (since 1908) organizations spent 5 minutes to look at his stats they would find his gawdawful road numbers for 2006-07: .260/.293/.397 & .249/.304/.333. He's the same player he was with the Mets: not good and now older. Is there some kind of aspiring GM-school these guys go to and have their brains removed before embarking on their careers? The Cubs and Asstros would get similar (or better) production out of players they are already have (Chris Burke, The Riot &tc.). And why don't the Cubs just play Eric Patterson for crying out loud? The mind boggles with how idiotic these idiots truly are...

Too busy watching "Ow, My Balls"?

Americans Are Closing the Book on Reading, Study Finds

Americans aren't just reading fewer books, but are reading less and less of everything, in any medium. That's the doleful conclusion of "To Read or Not to Read," a report scheduled for release today by the National Endowment for the Arts.

Note to the brainiacs at NEA: we have our own art, which our lives frequently imitate.

ok, first up, these 40%...

News Item: Survey finds that 40 percent of Americans favor the government's occasional use of torture.

Cedric Benson rips Corms, Fung, Decker, udder idiot Bears' fanz

Following another sub par performance Sunday (sez you), Cedric Benson lashed out at critics.
"I've been hearing a lot of people criticize and talk stuff. They're not watching the games or the plays. They're just throwing out criticism. Do I need to run with more of a burst? No. And [expletive] [phokk?] them. So I guess I'm getting to the hole and walking through the hole, right."

I'm wif Sir Cedric on dis one, knowing the focus group that is talking stuff. You guys might want to spend more time watching the game and less time with your faces buried in a bag of Doritos...

they should be sentenced for life in front of a firing squad

4 Arrested In 'Fire In The Hole' Hot Sauce Prank At Drive-Through

There must not be much to do in western PA (though maybe they drive over from Ohio, where the even bigger idiots live).

Earth to the Los Angeles Dodgers: Nomar is No More

Tonight Nomar is batting 5th(!) and comes in hitting: .285/.330/.360. Hitting *behind him* are James Loney (.350/.399/.536) and Matt Kemp (.341/.382/.540). Despite those batting lines, neither of them play every day. Hey, i love Nomar. He was *An Original Drunk Monk* and was on their only World Championship team. And i was able to flip him last year and drafted Matt Garza with that pick (who might be good despite Decker owning him...). And his wife is hot. Maybe Nomar has just been unlucky this year - he's still makes contact and doesn't strike out much. But there's no power left, and he was never one to walk much. His skillzz have been slowly declining for years, but this year he has hit rock bottom. The Dodgers did move him off 1st to give Loney playing time, but that put Wilson Betemit on the bench (since traded) and despite a low BA he was walking a lot and hitting HRs (his OPS is .144 higher despite a BA .50 lower than Nomar). But does Grady Little look at anything other than batting average? What a phokking dope. But the Dodgers also have Andy LaRoche* at AAA. In a brief callup earlier this season he had a .436 OBP with 15/3 BB/K ratio, and with Las Vegas he is hitting .317/.402/.606 after a very slow start. If he was made the Dodgers' 3rd baseman today i think it's safe to say he would outhit Nomar by 150-200 points of OPS over the rest of the year. They would't even have to make a trade to improve the lineup...so why don't the Dodgers do it? See labels...

*also a Monk, of course!! FISK would be skeerd if he came up, trust me!

That's Capitalism for ya

Well, my home phone number is offline till I find a new phone provider...

VoIP Provider SunRocket Disconnects Customers

I coulda filed this under soooooo many labels...

I didn't think Europeans were as STOOOOOOOOPID as Americans

Oh, wait... dis dombphokk is from Evanston... figgers.

This is SO Cub (cont'd)

Angel Guzman will go on the disabled list Wednesday because of forearm cramping, the Cubs revealed.
We called this one a few days ago. The Cubs took an injury-prone pitcher, had him switch roles for the third time this season and then made him throw 7 2/3 innings in a 12-day span. It's the same type of thing Lou Piniella did to get his pitchers hurt in Tampa Bay, and as long as the Cubs let the old man run their pitching staff by whim alone, it will likely keep happening. Now the Cubs are going to call up another quality prospect, Sean Gallagher, throw him into the bullpen and see what happens.

Scum-Slimes hiding Slezak's puddle of goo from da Sarge

There's a column in today's print edition of the Scum-Slimes, with Carol Slezak's photo next to it but no byline, about how the Cubs' continued suckiness under Piniella proves that it wasn't Dusty's fault. The article is not on the internets. I repeat: it is not on the internets! It's as if they knew that putting it where da Sarge could find it might set off an "incident."

road trip?

Prepare to believe. Opening in 6 days, 22 hours, 31 minutes, 58 seconds.

When Idiots Collide

Cursing the day: Ozzie vs. North

"Oh, shut the [deleted] up!" Guillen barked.

North cut Guillen off: "Hey, Ozzie, clean up your mouth...."