Fung def Sarge, Corporal

Well, we're back from the state that finally voted correctly, which we got to thru the state that nobody thought would vote correctly, but we're very glad they did. Fungster did well, defeating Sarge & Corporal and taking lotsa pictures in the process, other than the ones the vanquished took when we were giving them a false sense of security. Details, of course, are at the Spades Marathon blog site, so if you really want to snooze...

Did you know that you could send emails to the blog and they would appear as posts? Fung was struggling with trying to type in stuff in the small ass window on his Google phone (you'd think that the Google phone and the blogger, both owned by the Google, would be a match made in heaven, right? Nope.). Not to mention that some guy was screaming in his ear about how every single drive on that road at that time was a freaking moron and didn't know how to drive. But once he figgered dat out, things were much easier. Except for labeling of course, but you can do that afterward. Or just let Smiff do it for you.

Also, this I believe brings us up to 10 posts for the week. 10 posts? That's like a deluge! If we double them to 20, that will be like the most since like February or something! Oh, W. We miss you, and Dick (Dick) "Dick" Dick, and Condi, and Rummy, and Turblossom, and all those other guys that made this blog possible.

Not mentioned: A whole buncha guys who couldn't give a phokk about Spades, Briggs.

Put that on the board

Apologies if you used one of those recordificating machines to recordify the proceedings..

Buehrle completes perfect game to throttle Rays

The Time has Come

The day is nigh. People from all walks of life are flocking into Columbus, OH for what is known as the Spades Marathon. By popular demand (ok, Briggs), we will attempt to live blog or something on annudder blog, http://spadesmarathon.blogspot.com/, because this one has fallen upon hard times or the Twitters has obliterated it.

Fantasy Basketball 08-09

Winner - Briggs

Briggs, who, by his own admission doesn't talk enuff smack, takes the title for the second year in a row after years of runner-upping and a kiss your sister tie.  It was "only" a 20 point win this time around - chink in the armor?  He's already predicting a three peat, which I believe would be unprecedented.

Tie for 2nd - Fungster

Long the "guy in the middle", the guy whose teams would be in the top second half of the standings (table if you're English), Fungster's team finally put it together and made it into the money for the first time ever.  The team had a Briggs described "Fungsurgency" with a few days to go into second place, then nearly fell out of second with horrific end of season play.  Nevertheless, Fung is pleased.

5th place  - Smiff

Smiff continues to prove he's a Roto god by improving on his position and point total in a sport that he knows nuthin about.  He will be a little disappointed that he wasn't able to hold on to 2nd place, a position he held for most of the last month or so, until the "Fungsurgency" occurred.  He retains bragging rights over Sarge, although at this point one wonders what that is worth these days.

Tie for 7th place - Corms

A team wracked by injuries, Corms' team got in by far the fewest amount of games in the league. Nevertheless, there's quality there, as he managed a respectable middle of the table finish.  It shows that last years 3rd place was no fluke.

11th (and final) place - Sarge

Oi.  Or is it Oy? It's been a steady decline for Sarge since the glory days of Parcers 2004.  The Center position seemed to give Sarge fits, and a lot of games were missed there.  Just like in baseball, he's stacking up the young'uns, and hopes to make a run soon.  Will he continue to hold on to Matrix?

Not mentioned:  K-Mad (too sexy for Fantasy Basketball), Corporal (if it doesn't involve da Bears, he doesn't want to know), Ranger (he's the best at what he does, he has no time for anything else).

Fantasy Football - the suckage

Only Ranger made the playoffs this year, with Smiff missing out on point differential, Sarge & Corporal a game out and the less said about Fung & Corms the better. Since we went to a 10 team league team, apparently there's no consolation bracket for 9th and 10th. So Fung & Corms are done. Finished. Outta dere. Their suckage and stinkage was absolute. They did manage to win once or twice, including going 1-1 against each other. But boy did they suck. So Fung will not have tales of lore about this season. Someone else will have to do that. Now to focus on basketball, where Briggs is obviously like 50 poi... hold on, I'm being told that somehow Smiff leads the league. I give up.

Not mentioned: K-Mad (too sexy for Fantasy Football), Briggs (lifetime Parcer, rejecter of any and all other leagues, despite innumerable coercive efforts, he will not join your league, got it?)

Your long fantasy basketball nightmare: just beginning (again)?

After five whole days...

1. Second Jumpability 98
2. Q-Balls 91.5
3. Fung's Globetrotters 90.5
4. Coach #31 77.5
5. Sarah's Barracudas 67
6. Rochester Zeniths 66
7. Cook County Crooks 65
8. Columbus Bureaucrats 64.5
9. La Jolla Chemists 59
10. shot_at_bill 57.5
11. Meowing Squirrels 55.5

Sarge's PARCers offseason gets rougher still

In perhaps the biggest setback of a difficult summer for the Warriors, team officials confirmed Wednesday that [Monta] Ellis -- just awarded one of the biggest pay raises in league history -- will be sidelined at least three months after suffering a severe high ankle sprain in his hometown of Jackson, Miss.

Euroleague stats will not count in PARCers '08-'09

...much to the chagrin of Sarge.

Ex-Hawk Childress signs with Greek club team
ESPN.com news services
Updated: July 23, 2008, 5:54 PM ET

Josh Childress is leaving the Atlanta Hawks for Greek club Olympiakos, reversing the course of the many international stars who have signed with the NBA.

Heading overseas allows Childress to make more money than he could have as a restricted free agent in the United States. The Hawks had the right to match an offer from another NBA team, but not from an international club.

Smiff dominating anudder fantasy league, trouncing Sarge again...

Standings
1 785 Smelly Hound Dogs 73 -1.5
2 new york bombers 65 -0.5
2 kansas city royals 65 -1.5
4 Team SENOR 62 +0
5 Elgin Cell 61 +0.5
6 Annapolis Crunchers 56.5 +2
7 BROOKLYN Dogs of Yore 51 -1
8 Team Ross 46 -1.5
9 Skeetin on Ya 41 +3.5
10 cardington yankees 29.5 +0

LoC Member Expansion?

Briggs has mentioned a desire to post. Should we let him? He sez he knows da risks. Also, I believe that one Corporal, once he has completed his transition to da East side, and finally ponies up for da Internet, wants to join as well. He also claims to know da risks. Derefore, I petition for dese two gallant midwestern sons be given da right to be assimilated. To add dere uniqueness to our own. Resistance is futile.

LoC Members all over American Utopia

Semifinal
(1) Defending Negro
(4) S#i+ Blowing Up

Smiff out for revenge after last years final when all his players went on vacation because their teams were in the playoffs and wah wa wah wah wah. Fung trying to beat Smiff for the 3rd time this year and 4th in a row to make his 2nd straight final. So, we will have a repeat finalist...

Semifinal
(2) NFL Players Assoc.
(3) Bring on Orton

Sarge misses out on 1st seed by .25 of a point on Colston's last and irrelevant reception. He gets rewarded by taking on Corms, who he is 2-0 against this year, instead of Smiff, who he's 1-1 against. These teams battled it out for 7th place last year, with Corms coming out on top. So, two Cinderella stories, one gets to the ball, the other stays in the pumpkin...

Not featured: K-Mad (too sexy for Fantasy Football), Ranger (tanked), Corporal (s#i++ies+ team ever).

Smiff? KMad?

Wanna join the Parcers Fantasy Basketball League? We have an opening...