Hey Wisconsin, get to know your new Senator - you sure as hell deserve him

How did this jackass beat Feingold again? Was everyone drunk? Wait... that could be it actually...

Ron Johnson, R-Lobbyists

Sen.-elect Ron Johnson promised to change how Wisconsin is represented in Washington.

And he is doing just that.

Johnson narrowly defeated U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., who was the chamber’s chief advocate for the sort of lobbying and ethics reforms that would limit the power of special-interest groups and eliminate pay-to-play politics. Feingold’s refusal to play Washington-insider games led to his being labeled by Washingtonian magazine as “the number one enemy of lobbyists in Washington.”

Johnson won’t be so labeled.

The new Republican senator has announced that his chief of staff will be Don Kent, a former vice president at Navigators Global LLC.

What’s Navigators Global LLC? A Washington-based power broker operation that describes itself as “an elite team of federal lobbyists, political strategists and communications experts.”

That’s right. Ron Johnson has put a lobbyist in charge of his Senate office...

But I thought Smiff was already awesome

What's in a name? Man goes from Smith to Awesome

An Oregon man has had an Awesome name change.

Douglas Allen Smith Jr. says he changed his name to Captain Awesome last month because he was inspired by the nickname of a character on the NBC television show "Chuck" — Dr. Devon "Captain Awesome" Woodcomb.
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Olbermann rips the lazy, ignorant phokks who kept Santo out of the Hall

Ron Santo and baseball's shame

The crescendo of indignation builds just like they do in KO's special comments. You can almost hear an Affleckian full-on rant coming on.

On a personal note, too late did I learn to appreciate the artistry of Santo's radio broadcasts.
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Phightin' Phils Phans Rephuse to Yield White Trafh Title to Soxfs Phanf

Man jailed for vomiting on baseball fan

More proof that majority rule in the hands of a really stupid populace is a toxic mix

Which day would you rather see become a national sports holiday?

Monday after Super Bowl 57%
Friday of NCAA tournament first round 43%
Total votes 193,353
Results not scientific, but profoundly idiotic

Today's Factoid
Fun facts about the profoundly idiotic culture we live in...
Games broadcast on Friday of NCAA tournament first round: 16
Games broadcast on Monday after Super Bowl: 0
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What can we sell off for short-term gain next?

Maybe da Bears?

Company Piles Up Profits From City’s Parking Meter Deal

dis figgers

Bring back QT

I have missed QT for the past several days and now find that the column has been discontinued.

QT was one of the highlights of my morning read, and it is inconceivable that your readership will let this pass without comment.

Bring back this wonderful feature!

Kathryn Vanden Berk,
Highland Park

Answer in the print edition: "Thanks for writing."*

*Now go phokk yourself

Mom and Dad and Grandma and Grandpa have been drinking again, but on the plus side, the kid was apparently sober...

even though the article states that "her 1-year-old son also had... been drinking."

Sober driver tough to find in this family: cops

And how can it be that we didn't have a "brain-dead Hoosiers" label until today?

the undecided voter: a philosophical inquiry

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?"

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

if we had listened a little more carefully, we might have gotten a very early clue about how things would go...

George W. Bush's opening line at the first debate in 2000:

BUSH: Well, we do come from different places. I come from being a West Texas.

He then proceeds to talk about what he'll do with the "surplus."

BUSH: Let me just say that obviously tonight we're going to hear some phony numbers about what I think and what we ought to do. People need to know that over the next ten years it is going to be $25 trillion of revenue that comes into our treasurey and we anticipate spending $21 trillion. And my plan say why don't we pass 1.3 trillion of that back to the people who pay the bills? Surely we can afford 5% of the $25 trillion that are coming into the treasury to the hard working people that pay the bills. There is a difference of opinion. My opponent thinks the government -- the surplus is the government's money. That's not what I think. I think it's the hard-working people of America's money and I want to share some of that money with you so you have more money to build and save and dream for your families. It's a difference of opinion. It's a difference between government making decisions for you and you getting more of your money to make decisions for yourself.

I don't know about you, but that extra four treeeellllion dollars is burning a hole in my pocket. Why don't we throw a yooge phokking party for this phokking weasel to thank him for the bang-up job he did...