Now we can get back to the really important debates

Should hot dogs be served with ketchup?

Heck yes! (2044 responses) 43%
Hell no! (2690 responses) 57%
4734 total responses
(Results not scientific, but idiotic)

"Sure, it would be disgusting and perverted, and they would be shaming themselves and their loved ones. But under our system of government, it is their right to be barbarians."
-- Mike Royko

"Children love the delightful red stuff on their dogs."
~

More proof that majority rule in the hands of a really stupid populace is a toxic mix

Which day would you rather see become a national sports holiday?

Monday after Super Bowl 57%
Friday of NCAA tournament first round 43%
Total votes 193,353
Results not scientific, but profoundly idiotic

Today's Factoid
Fun facts about the profoundly idiotic culture we live in...
Games broadcast on Friday of NCAA tournament first round: 16
Games broadcast on Monday after Super Bowl: 0
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A shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Would you trust your senator or congressman with a secret?
Yes 5% 482
No 95% 8526
Total Votes: 9008
Though delightfully inane, this is not a scientific poll

On the other hand, if Michael Medved thinks you're a nutburger, you might be a really YOOOGE nutburger.

Unlike Dobbs, some conservative media think birthers are "nutburgers"
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Trib Readers - Brain Dead

See Sarge, it's not just the sportswriters. It's the readers too.

Readers vote: 'Z' ya later

Lovie Do

chicagotribune.com: The Sporting News ranked the Bears' Lovie Smith as the 20th-best coach in the NFL. Do you agree?
No, Lovie's winning record speaks for itself. (1851 responses) 48.4%
Yes. In-game adjustments, Ron Rivera, sticking with Rex...shall I go on? (1974 responses) 51.6%
3825 total responses (Results not scientific, but get a brain moranic)

Chicago catches the ice hockey fever (or maybe it's the bird flu)

Whose jersey do you see most around the city of Chicago?
: Patrick Kane
: Jonathan Toews
: Patrick Sharp
: Brian Campbell
: Player from the past
: What in the name of sweet Jesus are you talking about?

42% of Chicagoans Agree: WE SUCK

Forbes lists Chicago among nation's miserable cities

Chicago is America's third most miserable city, beating out bleak towns like Flint, Mich. and Buffalo, NY, according to a recently released Forbes magazine list.
Chicago's dubious ranking comes just six months after the magazine dubbed Chicago the most stressed-out city in America.
The magazine said Chicago's weather, long commute times, rising unemployment and the country's highest sales tax earned it the number three spot on the list, below Stockton, Calif. and Memphis.
For the first time this year, Forbes used "corruption" as a factor when ranking America's 150 largest metropolitan areas in order of misery, according to Forbes.com.
"Illinois' record of public corruption, particularly in the governor's office, is staggering," the article says. "Five of the past nine governors have been charged with crimes, and three, as of now, have served time in prison." To add insult to injury, the magazine writes that people have been migrating out of the city the last seven years, and that the Cubs' 100 year long title drought is 40 percent longer than any other major professional sports team.
Forbes used nine factors -- commute times, corruption, pro sports teams, Superfund sites, income and sales taxes, unemployment, violent crime and weather -- when ranking the cities.
Following Stockton, Memphis and Chicago are Cleveland, Modesto, Calif., Flint, Detroit, Buffalo, Miami and St. Louis.
Read the entire Forbes article "America's Most Miserable Cities."

POLL RESULTS ::
Is Chicago a miserable city?
Yes
42%
252 votes
No
57%
336 votes
Total Votes: 588

Of course, Steve "Flat Tax" Forbes: MAJOR DOUCHEBAG. (--ed.)
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Pollsters running out of questions (cont)

Survey Asks: Internet Access or Sex?

According to the study, 46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would opt to forgo sex for two weeks instead of giving up access to their precious Internet for the same period.

What a stooooooooopid comparison! I wish I was on the internet so much that I could compare it to all my conquesting!

Everybody Cranky

Quick Vote

Have you ever displayed or witnessed 'queue rage' -- visible anger or violence resulting from waiting in line?

Yes 70% 92281
No 30% 40255

Total Votes: 132536

read related article »

This is not a scientific poll, but it is profoundly idiotic

Pulse of the Nation

How optimistic are you about America's new president-elect?

Very 51% 16330
Somewhat 18% 5844
Not at all 31% 9815
Total Votes: 31989

read related article »
This is not a scientific poll, but 31% of people are profoundly moronically idiotically stooooooopid.

From the troglodyte homunculus who said Kerry was going to win, or, OUTLIER

Pollster John Zogby: "Is McCain making a move? The three-day average holds steady, but McCain outpolled Obama today, 48% to 47%. He is beginning to cut into Obama's lead among independents, is now leading among blue collar voters, has strengthened his lead among investors and among men, and is walloping Obama among NASCAR voters. Joe the Plumber may get his license after all. "Obama's lead among women declined, and it looks like it is occurring because McCain is solidifying the support of conservative women, which is something we saw last time McCain picked up in the polls. If McCain has a good day tomorrow, we will eliminate Obama's good day three days ago, and we could really see some tightening in this rolling average. But for now, hold on."

Nate gives this a smackdown: Trick or Treat

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A SHOCKING percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers DID NOT agree with Lou Dobbs tonight and are consequently wid da tarrists

Do you believe we will hear either candidate offer any real solutions on the issues of illegal immigration, free trade, outsourcing and prosperity?
Yes 13% 655
No 87% 4581
Total Votes: 5236
Though sublimely inane, this is not a scientific poll

perhaps we should amend the Defense of Marriage Act

News item: A NEW survey conducted for Sheraton Hotels & Resorts finds that over a third of smart phone users would pick their BlackBerry over their significant other if they absolutely had to choose one to live without...

One Weekend in Milwaukee and...

...Cubs warm to idea of new park

How come this didn't come up the 400 other times they've played at Miller Park? OK so it's probably more like 50. But still. If they started on the planning now, by the time they'd get it done, all these players would be gone. So suck it up & play.

I don't even want to imagine the can of worms building a new Wrigley would open up. Wrigleyville or somewhere else? Play in Sox Park or Miller Park or just kinda tour the midwest? I just have one requirement, the new stadium better have a retractable roof on it...

Tear it down?
Should the Cubs abandon Wrigley and build a modern facility like Miller Park?
Yes (1275 responses) 40.0%
No (1915 responses) 60.0%
3190 total responses (Results not scientific, but profoundly moronic)

a SHOCKING percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs tonight

Do you believe the presidential candidates' positions on border security should be more important in this campaign than their race, religion or gender?

YES 98% 4577
NO 2% 97
Total Votes: 4674
This is not a scientific poll (but, it is flamboyantly idiotic)

Trib tackles the tough questions

Is it OK to wear jerseys of players who are no longer on the team?
Yes (956 responses) 70.2%
No (405 responses) 29.8%
1361 total responses (Results not scientific, but gargantuanly inane)

A shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with... woops!

Do you believe the Food and Drug Administration will ever find the source of the salmonella outbreak?
Yes 11% 595
No 89% 4692
Total Votes: 5287
Poll results not scientific (but idiotic)

News item: Call it the smoking jalapeno. After nearly two months of mystery, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has identified a jalepeno pepper that is contaminated with the same strain of Salmonella saintpaul that has sickened more than 1,237 people in 43 states.

It's the first time during this outbreak that a test has found the salmonella strain in a piece of produce.

The discovery, which will be announced shortly by FDA, was made at a packing plant in McAllen, Texas, according to a source familiar with the issue. The pepper was grown in Mexico, the source said, but was sent to the U.S. for sale. Authorities are not sure where it was contaminated with salmonella.

Sosa to return to Wrigley on July 29th!

Dat's right, when Kane County plays Peoria there will be a "performance" by the ZOOperstars! featuring Clammy Sosa...

Help us select who should be next to join the ZOOperstars!
Bud Sealig
112 votes
Ramdy Johnson
152 votes
Randy Mossquito
171 votes
Chippermunk Jones
826 votes
Dale Ferrett
173 votes
Dan Marhino
176 votes
Jason Squidd
126 votes
Fly Cobb
228 votes
Mike Byson
164 votes
Muhammed Albee
166 votes
Muhammed Alligator
190 votes
Pony Stewart
525 votes

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Cattle Cars R Comin...

Do you think standing-room-only trains will improve the commute?
Yes (942 responses) 35.2%
No (1731 responses) 64.8%
2673 total responses (Results not scientific, but idiotic)

A shockingly large percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers are so freaking obviously lemmings (cont)

Do you believe the government of the United States should, at a minimum, keep track of people who are in this country on so-called "temporary visas?"

Yes: 98%
No (and Lou of course can't imagine who these phokks are): 2%

Coming next, a definition of what "keeping track of" means.