The Illinois Way

Remember that payroll tax reduction we got as a result of Obama "compromising" and the Republicans "winning"? Well, guess what? Da State Dat we live in has decided to take all dat money and then some! Allegedly, there's some hyooooooge budget hole (left by the departure of Bobby Jenks, no doubt) they have to fill, and Quinny's decided the only way to fill it is with more tax money. But just like the politicians in da beltway, dey felt that they shouldn't offend the rich by taxing them more. No, let's just regressively tax everyone more. Clearly they're trying to make Blago's comeback that much easier. And there Corporal thought he was moving AWAY from Taxachussetts!

Blago's World: So Much Better Than Reality

ROSEMONT, Ill. (CBS) ― It sounds like the start to a bad joke; Captain Kirk, Batman, the Bionic Woman and Rod Blagojevich. They were among the stars at this year's Wizard World Chicago Comic Con.

I will leave learned comparisons between Chicago Comic Con (Da Comic Con Dat Works) and dat udder Comic-Con to others, but any situation in which Ian Ziering is the grown-up, and gets off the best line, is pretty phokked up.

"Chicago is not the most corrupt American city, it's the most theatrically corrupt."
-- Studs Terkel
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Was Blago's book release timed to coincide with Shameless Promotion Month?

Also: Beware the Ides of National Chicken Month:

she speaks for millions of Illinois residents

"Daddy, I wish you were there to eat the tarantula, not Mommy."
-- Rod "Perfect Hair" Blagojevich's 6-year-old daughter, to her father

something truly 'shocking'

News headline: Blagojevich pleads 'not guilty'
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How does Illinois do it?

Illinois plutocrats are frakkin’ goofy

The government of Illinois, an an obvious attempt to distract America from Blagojevich’s hair, has declared that Pluto is a planet.

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Kicking a decomposing horse

10 anagrams for 'Rod Blagojevich'

Gov. Rich job deal
Led job rig havoc
Vocal bird, he jog
Hard job, evil cog
Oh, clod jive, brag
Hi, crave gold job?
Child rave, job go
Job? Hair clod veg
Rid havoc gel job
Chi, glad job over?

Blago: the gift that keeps on taking

Thirty-two blue Blagojevich signs were erected in 2004 at a cost of $480,000. They read: "Open Road Tolling --- Rod R. Blagojevich Governor." It will cost an estimated $15,000 apiece to change them.

Which reminds me - with Blago, Big Time, and the Rezzzidunce out of the way, is it time to turn our rage on Little Todd Stroger?

Conclusion of hackneyed script

In the end, he left the Capitol in Springfield through a secret basement corridor full of grunting, clanking pipes, bare walls and puddles.

Gov. Pat Quinn is in charge

Blago out of Illinois Politics PERMANENTLY. W and Blago in the same month? Surely this must be a sign of the end times...

Great news! Blago back home safe (same day! wow, quick! it's great to have your own jet and stick somebody else with the tab) and went for a jog

"Yeah, it's unprecedented, but future generations will know that we have this thing called impeachment, and whenever any of our leaders, who are human beings like us, overstep the boundaries, the process is in place," Meeks said. "We have this thing called impeachment and it's bleeping golden and we've used it the right way."

This Murphy feller is coming out of this looking pretty good... not hard to imagine him beating whoever beats Quinn in the primary as the Democrat Party implodes in Illinois...

Sen. Matt Murphy of Palatine, whom Senate Republicans have put in the spotlight during the impeachment process, offered a blistering critique of Blagojevich.

"He reminded us today in real detail that he is an unusually good liar," Murphy said. "We bent over backwards to make sure that this process was fair."

"His conduct this last week, though, is not why I'm voting to convict him," Murphy said. "It's pretty clear that he extorted or attempted to extort."

"He came down and wrapped himself in the constitution," Murphy said. "He's a hypocrite."

"Is there any real question in anybody's mind that the thing he saw as 'bleeping golden' he planned to use for his own benefit, not for the state of Illinois? I don't think so," Murphy said, referring to Obama's vacated U.S. Senate seat.

Is this the last phokking plane ride we have to pay for?

Happening today
• Now: Governor flying to Springfield

Maybe our next gubnor will discover that the gubnor has, like, an office and s#i+... right there in the phokking capital...

You won't have Rod "Perfect Hair" Blagojevich to kick around much longer

In 1980, most twentysomething men probably pined to bump into one of the Beatles or maybe Bo Derek; Blago wanted the autograph of our nation’s most notorious politician. Knowing this is like being handed the lost first chapter of The Blagojevich Saga after reading three-quarters of the way through: You’re already up to your eyeballs in drama, but everything that transpired thus far now rings truer— The taped conversations! The threats during taped conversations! The swearing during taped conversations!
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In the summer of 1980 before he started law school, Blago and a friend, on their first trip to New York City, (the friend was later in the news for giving Blago's daughter a check for $1,500 after the man's wife got a state job) awoke at 4:30 am so 23-year-old Rod could get an autograph from Nixon as he left his Upper East Side townhouse for his morning walk. Wearing a suit, Nixon emerged at 7. As his secret service agents eyed the boys warily, Blago, wearing running shorts, was waiting with his line: "Mr. President, can I trouble you for an autograph?" He asked that Nixon sign the autograph to his mother who, Blagojevich explained, loved Nixon because "he had suffered so much," had "two lovely daughters," and "was loyal to Pat."
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While going to school at Northwestern University, Blagojevich idolized Nixon, according to friends, frequently defending him during the Watergate scandal. According to a long-time Blagojevich friend, the future governor often found inspiration in Nixon's "me against the world" sensibility. Blagojevich particularly loved the fact that Nixon bounced back after the "you won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore" speech after losing the race for California governor in 1962.
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Are we paying for this?

Gov's TV tour continues:
6:45 a.m. CBS' Evening News
7:00 a.m. CBS' Early Show
8:10 a.m. Fox & Friends
8:45 a.m. AP TV
10:30 a.m. Fox Business Network
11:15 a.m. In Session/TruTV
12:30 p.m. FOX's Glenn Beck
1:30 p.m. CNN's Campbell Brown
2:00 p.m. MSNBC's Rachel Maddow
2:30 p.m. FOX's Greta Van Susteren
3:30 p.m. CNN's DL Hughley

the clinical evaluation is in: he's not crazy, he's just an @sshole

Though I think the full medical term is yooge PHOKKING @sshole...

He quotes poets at press conferences, but seldom takes questions. Reporters have seen him grab cell phones from complete strangers, interrupting conversations to say, "Hi, this is the governor." When lawmakers unanimously reject his proposal to tax businesses, he says that’s a vote of confidence.

Is Gov. Rod Blagojevich crazy?

The answer: Not exactly, according to experts in mental and personality disorders. But that doesn’t mean Blagojevich qualifies as normal.

"I’m not sure the question is about (mental) stability," says Dr. Joe Bohlen, a Springfield psychiatrist. "It may be more about personality."

"Personality," my friends...
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Rock Me Hard Place

Governor: They're 'getting rid of me to raise taxes'

I put this quandary to a co-worker - keep the Governor, or higher taxes. His answer? Ditka.

Whitey, whitey, whitey

Lawyers quit impeachment case, call it a 'lynching'

You can't call it a lynching. How the heck would you know what a, oh, wait, that's right, you used to dish 'em out so you are intimately familiar with the process. Never mind...

Yes, they hate health care reform... that must be it...

Blagojevich said he wasn't surprised by the impeachment vote, which he blamed on a Legislature that has blocked his attempts to pass, among other things, health care reform.

If you didn't have enuff reasons to HATE him...

... News item: Blago names street for Cubs GM weeks after getting SWEPT out of the playoffs. Meanwhile, White Sox GM Kenny boy, who at least has a World(?) Series title for his troubles, is still waiting for an honorary street.

It has beguninated

Breaking News: Blagojevich impeached

Will they have the guts to FINISH HIM?