Phils win 7-3: take dat, HATERS (drunk Padres fans, Decker)

Adam Eaton held the Padres to two runs in 5 2/3 innings to record his 9th win on Friday.
Eaton gave up seven hits and three walks, but he pitched out of several jams (wily veteran!) in part because of a few key strikeouts. Even today's solid outing wasn't credited with a quality start, something Eaton has done just once in his last six opportunities. Whateverz...he kept them in the ballgame...got the win...that's the only thing that matters. Not only dat, Alfonsucko got the save.

World's Awfulest Newspaper (tie) unveils new crappy website

Chicago Tribune

Did they just copy the Sun-Times' html code?

Sports sayings that don't make sense

So someone at work (hyooooge sports fan - he even wears Blackhawk jerseys to work) is coming up with a list of sports sayings that don't make sense. The first one was "bases clearing double". The bases aren't cleared - there's someone at second. So how is it a bases clearing double? Anyway, care to add examples to his list?

Decker drafts Chin-Lung Hu, ruins another career...

Who is going to flame out because Decker picked him up?

Yes.

I mean the fellow's name.

Hu.

The guy Decker is going to destroy by drafting him.

Hu.

That's what I'm asking.

Hu is the guy.

I'm asking YOU who is the guy.

That's the man's name.

That's who's name?

Yes.

Well go ahead and tell me.

That's it.

That's who?

Yes.

beer prices at Petco Park

Bud Light etc. $7.50
"premium" $8.50

Yeah, right. I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than pay $7.50 for a Bud Phokking Light.

Of course, the one millionaire in the park who could afford enough beers to get drunk by the 3rd inning was sitting behind me saying things like, "Mike Schmidt sucks" and "Tony Gwynn was WAY better than Mike Schmidt" and "The Phillies STINK!" (well, that's true, but how many World Series have the Padres won?). And for some reason, he kept singing the theme to "Three's Company." I came *THIS CLOSE* to turning around to give him "the Dick Cheney" ("GFY!"), but i knew that's what he wanted me to do so i ignored him the entire game. I won.

another rip deal in Great Lakes...

Team 12 receives:

Thome
Penny
Qualls
Marmol

Team 10 receives:

Derrek Lee
Round 16

This Looks Like a Winning Line Up

1.Soriano LF
2.Theriot SS
3.Fontenot 2B
4.Ramirez 3B
5.Joke Jones CF
6.Pagan RF
7.Scott Moore 1B
8.Kendall C
9.Marquis "P"

We are living in a golden age (cont)

Tom DeLay: Legalized Abortion Brings Illegal Immigrants

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay told a gathering that legalized abortion is in large part responsible for illegal immigration in the United States.
Speaking in Arlington, Va., at the recent national convention of College Republicans – a 250,000-member organization that promotes GOP policies and candidates – the Texas Republican said: "I contend [abortion] affects you in immigration. If we had those 40 million children that were killed over the last 30 years, we wouldn’t need the illegal immigrants to fill the jobs that they are doing today. Think about it.”
DeLay echoed remarks from former Georgia Democratic Sen. Zell Miller, the Web site rawstory.com reported. He told an anti-abortion conference in March that abortion was responsible for illegal immigration and problems in recruiting soldiers for the armed forces.

Uh Oh

Iran placed on high alert...

Cheney acting president during Bush exam

my thoughts on "Sicko"

1) Why does Michael Moore continue to hate America?
2) Move to phokking Cuba already if you love it so much, blimpo. Or Slovenia.
3) And why don't you and all your fat phokk liberal friends quit eating cheeseburgers and stop clogging up our emergency rooms with all your heart attacks and strokes.
4) Hey, i've got health care (i think). Suckers!

to be continued...

anudder tough break for Wootz

Kerry Wood (shoulder) pitched a scoreless inning Thursday in his third appearance for the Rookie AZL Cubs. Wood walled one hit and struck out one while throwing just seven pitches. He reportedly touched 95 mph in the inning. He's expected to make at least one more appearance in the Arizona League before moving up a couple of levels. And then he will be humanely destroyed.

Smiff calls another one

Phillies lose 1-0.

That's Capitalism for ya

Well, my home phone number is offline till I find a new phone provider...

VoIP Provider SunRocket Disconnects Customers

I coulda filed this under soooooo many labels...

Is it possible to pull fat?

CHICAGO'S FIRST BASEMAN DARYLE WARD HAS LEFT THE GAME IN THE SECOND INNING WITH A STRAINED RIGHT CALF.

Who didn't see this coming?

CHICAGO OUTFIELDER CLIFF FLOYD HAS LEFT THE GAME IN THE BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH INNING WITH A STRAINED NECK.

The Dick Cheney Emotional Chart

Found it here

GMs on Crack

Crappy Timo is BACK! Let's see...he's a veteran AND a gamer! (Two for the price of one!) Also nice to see the Pirates still acting as the Cubs' AAA farm team. Why on Earth would they want the HORRORible Izzy?

Tigers purchased the contract of outfielder Timo Perez from Triple-A Toledo.

Pirates acquired infielder Cesar Izturis and cash considerations from the Cubs for a player to be named. (Unless that player is deceased, not an upgrade...)

rotten kids -- why can't they just watch TV or play a video game or some damn thing instead of wasting our money on reading?

Need I add: shocking that this is happening in Texas.

Need I add: our children are our most precious resource.

Does K-Mad gotst one of dese?

Scott Spiezio met with team doctor George Paletta and a disease specialist Wednesday to have his infected finger examined.

Cricket Rules - Post 2 of 473

Once again, from our friends at the Beeb

Ten ways of getting out

There are ten ways a batsman can be out, five are very common and five very rare.
More often than not a batsman will be caught (fly out), bowled (strike out), given leg before wicket (lbw), run out (force out or tagged out) or stumped.
The five other ways to lose your wicket range from the uncommon to the almost unseen.
The uncommon methods, but not unheard of, are 'hit wicket' - when a batsman removes his or her own bails - and 'handled the ball' - when he handles the ball without permission from the fielding side.
The almost unseen are 'double hit' - deliberately hitting the ball twice, 'obstructing the field' - preventing fielders from executing a run out and 'timed out', which is when a new batsman takes too long to appear on the field.
It's worth knowing however that for the batsman to be given out, the fielding team have to appeal to the umpire by asking "how's that?"

Next time - tampering with the game ball. Unlike baseball, where they use like 400 balls in a game, a cricket ball can only be replaced after 80 overs (480 balls), so tampering with it to make it swing can be really useful, and just as illegal.

Smiff?

CBS struggles to find successor to Bob Barker

Can sKILLy do this? I don't think so!

Sure-fire, rain-free Olympics
China guarantees perfect weather for the 2008 Summer Games in Beijing.
» Cloud-zapping rockets

People aren't getting the message

Remember when being called a geek was a bad thing?

Apple's Steve Jobs top 'Powergeek'

how to prevent campus crime (by arming the students)

Yale Student Kept Arsenal of Weapons at Fraternity House

Yale University police officers have confiscated an arsenal of weapons, including two illegal assault rifles, from a student living in an off-campus fraternity house, the Hartford Courant reported. The student also had a stockpile of chemicals and ammunition, in addition to 11 guns, at the Beta Theta Pi house, authorities said. The police said they had been called to the house by a report that the student had fired one of the guns during a drunken argument indoors last Friday. He has been charged with reckless endangerment, threatening, and breach of peace. Yale said it had temporarily suspended him.

likes to play! NO "off" switch! FIERY!

"This has always been my favorite place to play," Kendall said. "I'm just as excited as can be. This is a good change of scenery for me, being back in the National League. I'm fired up."

Manager Lou Piniella is as fired up as Kendall, because he now has a veteran catcher who plays the game the way he likes—without an "off" switch.

"He's an experienced guy who has played on winning teams and he's a grinder," Piniella said. "He likes to play and he likes to win."

Kendall wound up going 0-for-3 and dropped a throw from Alfonso Soriano that allowed a run to score in the fourth....

take dat, HATERS!

2nd most hits by a Phillies' team ever...in 18,882 games. Even SP J.D. Durbin (who?) had 3 hits. Expect them to be shutout today. And most definitely tomorrow since we have tickets...

Ryan Howard delivered a pair of two-run homers in the Phillies' 15-3 rout of the Dodgers on Tuesday.
The Phillies pounded out 26 hits, including five apiece from Shane Victorino and Aaron Rowand. It was the most the Dodgers had allowed since 1958, their first year in Los Angeles. Howard's only two hits left the year. He's up to 24 homers in 277 at-bats. Even after going on the DL earlier this year, he's tied for third in the NL in homers and fourth in RBI.

Sticktoitiveness

Smiff still being recruited.

well, that's settled

Manager Lou Piniella says he plans on batting Jason Kendall seventh in the lineup.

"He gives you a good, professional at-bat, and he'll take a walk," Piniella said. "Basically, he's been a .300 hitter his whole career." Geovany Soto is expected to be returned to Triple-A Iowa on Tuesday.

also, if you look close, monkeys are flying outta his butt

• Neoconservative commentator and HYOOOGE A$$H@LE William Kristol reassuring Americans regarding the Iraq war shortly after the 2003 invasion:

"There's been a certain amount of pop sociology in America that you know, somehow the Shia can't get along with the Sunni, and the Shia in Iraq just want to establish some kind of Islamic fundamentalist regime. There's almost no evidence of that at all. . . ."

• William Kristol reassuring Americans during the 2007 Iraq surge:

"We now seem to be on course to a successful outcome."

WHY IS ANYONE STILL LISTENING TO THIS PHOKKING JACKASS?

The Right and A Tale of Two Presidencies

Hickory Dickory Dock
An intern sucked his cock
With what the right beseeched
they followed through and impeached
Hickory Dickory Dock.

Dick and George
Traversed the Gorge
To get authorized imperial war
Thousands are dead
They did not get head
So they the right continue to adore.

Drool Cup!

Phil Rogers: Trust scouts: Kendall will work

In related news...

Cubs acquire Jason Kendall for Rob Bowen/minor league pitcher. Good?

90.6%
Yes, Kendall is a smart vet (4098 responses)

9.4%
No, Cubs gave away too much (425 responses)

4523 total responses
(Poll is brain dead)

we haven't cornered the market

The new secondary history curriculum for British public schools has dropped Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, the Mahatma Gandhi and the Rev Martin Luther King Jr. from its list of historical figures recommended for teaching as part of a "more flexible" and "less prescriptive" approach better suited to "equipping young people with the skills for life and work in the 21st century."

The Only Way to Stop the Monks?

Blue Ward Cyclones today announce the acquisition of Yankees Farmhand Joba Chamberlin...

making him owned by Smitty in F.I.S.K. and by me in the Wellness Center.

It makes him a Monklone.

AWFUL.

Cubs acquired catcher Jason Kendall and cash from the Athletics for catcher Rob Bowen and LHP Jerry Blevins.
The cash will cover a portion of his $13 million salary, which had been being paid by both the A's ($8 million) and the Pirates ($5 million). With a .226/.261/.281 line this year, Kendall is no sure upgrade...unless he were to replace a dead guy.

The Aim of Cricket

First in a 473 part series on the game of Cricket. Posted while waiting for traffic to die down - nothing mucks up rush hour traffic like a cubs night game. From our friends at the Beeb.


The aim of cricket

Cricket is basically a simple game - score more than the opposition.
Two teams, both with 11 players, take it in turns to bat and bowl.
When one team is batting, they try and score as many runs as they can by hitting the ball around an oval field.
The other team must get them out by bowling the ball overarm at the stumps, which are at either end of a 22-yard area called a wicket.
The bowling team can get the batsmen out by hitting the stumps or catching the ball.
Once the batting team is all out, the teams swap over and they then become the bowling side.
Each time a team bats it is known as their innings. Teams can have one or two innings depending on how long there is to play.
The Ashes Test matches are over five days so England and Australia have two innings each to score as many runs as they can.
Whoever scores the most runs wins. But a cricket match can be drawn too.
That happens when the team bowling last fails to get all the batsmen out.

Next time, the 10 ways a batsmen can be called out.

People are Really Fucking Stupid

This guy would take Theriot over A-Rod.

Drugged Up

1 in 12 Workers Admits Using Drugs

Librarians aren't holding up their part of the bargain though. Interesting that govt workers seem to be missing...

Way more fun charts are here

Fightin' em over there...

...And giving em maps to help em out...

GREENSBORO, N.C. (AP) - Detailed schematics of a military detainee holding facility in southern Iraq. Geographical surveys and aerial photographs of two military airfields outside Baghdad. Plans for a new fuel farm at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan.

The military calls it "need-to-know" information that would pose a direct threat to U.S. troops if it were to fall into the hands of terrorists. It's material so sensitive that officials refused to release the documents when asked.

But it's already out there, posted carelessly to file servers by government agencies and contractors, accessible to anyone with an Internet connection.

Read on here

we are living in a golden age (cont'd)

Internet blamed for neglect

RENO, Nev. - A couple who authorities say were so obsessed with the Internet and video games that they left their babies starving and suffering other health problems have pleaded guilty to child neglect.

(Let this be a warning for a certain someone obsessed with Wii and pirating other people's pay-per-view movies...)

In case you were wondering...

I was kind of enjoying a quiet and early Sunday in Brooklyn, perusing and came across this little gem

from think/progress:

‘Bush is not going to leave office with Iran still in limbo.’

In a story entitled “Cheney pushes Bush to act on Iran,” The Guardian writes that Cheney may be winning the debate inside the White House over how to confront Iran:

The balance in the internal White House debate over Iran has shifted back in favour of military action before President George Bush leaves office in 18 months, the Guardian has learned.

The shift follows an internal review involving the White House, the Pentagon and the state department over the last month. Although the Bush administration is in deep trouble over Iraq, it remains focused on Iran. A well-placed source in Washington said: “Bush is not going to leave office with Iran still in limbo.”