Showing posts with label dumb phokks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dumb phokks. Show all posts

Monday, February 14, 2011

Dumb Criminals (cont)

Cops: Teen kills fish to eliminate ‘witnesses’ — Arlington Heights news, photos and events — TribLocal.com

A 16-year-old from Arlington Heights who burglarized an apartment with two friends killed three fish by pouring condiments in their bowl because he didn’t want to leave any witnesses, police said.
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The one teen told police that upon leaving the scene, he said to his friends, “We can’t let them live, they’re witnesses,” officers said.

“He wasn’t remorseful,” criminal investigations Sgt. Mike Hernandez said. “It was disturbing. Certainly something they didn’t need to do.”


From Corporal's home town, no less. Clearly they've been watching too much CSI...

Monday, December 8, 2008

Brain-Dead Quinquagenarians (soon): The Dumbering

I blame society.

If the data are objectively assessed, which age-slice of today's working-age adults really does deserve to be called the dumbest generation?

The answer may surprise you. No, it's not today's college-age kids, nor even today's family-starting 30-somethings. And no, it's not the 60-year-olds who once grooved at Woodstock. Instead, it's Americans in their 40s, especially their late 40s -- those born from the late 1950s to the mid-1960s.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

At last, our dream of a Nation free of annoying, pointy-headed elitists is within our ham-fisted reach

America’s human capital is tested

A startling and profoundly important fact about the US economy has received surprisingly little attention. The educational quality of the country’s workers is starting to decline – not just relatively (because other countries are catching up and moving ahead) but also, for the first time, in absolute terms. Over the coming years, baby-boomers departing from the labour force will have better educational qualifications than the younger workers replacing them.

World's Awfulest Newspaper to Get Awfuler, or: only 4 months until McCain is elected...

Chicago Tribune to cut 80 newsroom jobs

In related news:

So how dumb are we?

and...

Bob Edwards Radio.com explores Rick Shenkman’s new book, “Just How Stupid Are We?: Facing the Truth About the American Voter“:

–Only 2 in 5 voters can name the three branches of the federal government.

–Only 1 in 7 can find Iraq on a map.

–Only 1 in 5 know that there are 100 federal senators.

–Two out of three people you see on the street think the First Amendment "goes too far."

And the most chilling…

–Nearly half (49%) of Americans think the President has the authority to suspend the Constitution.


Friday, June 13, 2008

You'll get nothing and like it.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. - Heterosexual couples are rushing to get married in a conservative California county that plans to halt all civil wedding ceremonies as gay marriage is set to be legalized.

Kern County Clerk Ann Barnett says Friday is the last day the county will perform civil weddings.

Starting Tuesday, when the California Supreme Court's order legalizing same-sex marriage takes effect, Kern will issue new gender-neutral marriage licenses as required by law. But couples seeking to get hitched will have to go somewhere else for the ceremony.

Barnett says the increased demand for ceremonies would overwhelm her staff and pose office security risks. She made the announcement after learning she could not marry only couples of her choosing.
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You don't get to claim "office security risks" when you are the motherphockers creating the security risks. And I'm sure all the gay people are rushing to get married in Bakersfield. Well, they probably weren't, before this article. Congratulations to Ms. Barnett for basically calling down the thunder on herself. Now I have no idea if she is married, but it's a darn good thing that whoever granted her her marriage license didn't eliminate dumbasses based on their own "choosing."

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Penn Dems: not exactly stuffed with brainz

Hunters - Obama 31% Clinton 56%
Bowlers - Obama 33% Bowlers 54%
Gun Owners - Obama 28% Clinton 53%
Beer Drinkers - Obama 44% Clinton 44%


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Why does President Bush hate America?

President Bush: “Probably true” that next attack will come from neglected Afghanistan...and he's not going to do anything about it

Adm. Mullen says: “The Taliban is growing bolder. Suicide attacks are on the rise, and so is the trade in illegal narcotics. Requirements exist there that we simply can not fill, and won’t likely be able to fill, until conditions improve in Iraq.”

It’s simply stunning that the President can sit there and admit with a straight face that the next attack is “probably” brewing in Afghanistan, and that’s he’s unwilling to devote more resources there even though his top military commander says he needs them.


Sunday, April 13, 2008

Chip Caray Nails It: Or how to make 4 mistakes in 7 words

In praising Jimy Williams work ethic with young players, said:

"Adam Everett, who is a young, budding star with the Houston Astros..."

Let's see, he plays for Minnesota now.

Not young: he's 31 years old.

Not budding: he has been on a major league roster since 2001.

A star? Ok, the guy is good fielding SS, but his career batting line is .246/.298/.355. He's the definition of "good field, no hit" and has been since he was young and budding.

Chip's bulb is dimmer than Skip's and Harry's, and that is saying A LOT.

However, on the list of Carays I Hate, he only places 3rd:

1) Skip Caray
2) Harry Caray
3) Chip Caray

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Scary $#!+

US government forces military secrets on Brit webmaster
Sorry, we thought you were us
By Dan Goodin in San Francisco → More by this author

A website promoting the town of Mildenhall has been shut down after it unintentionally became the recipient of hundreds of classified emails, including messages detailing the planned flight path of President Bush.

Over more than a decade, www.mildenhall.com received emails detailing all kinds of secret military information that were intended for official Air Force personnel. One detailed where Air Force One could be found in the air during a planned visit to the region by President Bush. Others included battlefield strategy and passwords.

"I was being sent everything from banal chat and jokes, to videos up to 15mb in size," Gary Sinnott, owner of mildenhall.com, said in this article in EDP 24. "Some were classified, some were personal. A lot had some really sensitive information in them."

As owner of mildenhall.com, Sinnott received every email that had that domain name included in the address field. The site was set up to provide information about the town of Mildenhall, which is about a half-hour's drive north east of Cambridge.

Sinnott says he brought the SNAFU to the attention of Air Force officials but was never able to get the problem fixed. At first, they didn't seem to take the matter seriously, but eventually, they "went mental," he said. Officials advised Sinnott to block unrecognizable addresses from his domain and set up an auto-reply reminding people of the address for the official air force base.
But still, the official emails continued to flow in to Sinnott's site. And to make matters worse, some people got angry after Sinnott told them they were sending email to the wrong address and gave his address to spammers. Sinnott was receiving 30,000 pieces of email per day, most of which was junk mail.

So Sinnott pulled the plug on the website. Though he remains the owner of mildenhall.com, it may only be a matter of time before all those emails incorrectly addressed to Air Force personnel at mildenhall.com automatically begin to bounce. And that ought to make security conscious people everywhere breath a little easier.

Alas, according whois records, mildenhall.net and mildenhall.org are in the hands of non-military individuals and mildenhall.us is available to anyone with $35. Given what we now know about the boobs who send confidential information, that ought to give us pause. ®

The article doesn't really get to the heart of the problem - there is an Air Force base near Mildenhall called Mildenhall Air Force Base. So the dumbasses here, instead of checking to see what the domain is for the base, just assumed it was mildenhall.com (because that's what it should be, right? Even though it's a military base, and not a commmercial entity, it's always .com isn't it?) and sent messages, UNENCRYPTED, to the wrong people. Then said person, being nice, alerted the military and they basically waved him off. Imagine if someone else had thought of this - heck, this could be happening all over the world.

This goes under Bushian, even if it did start before he was in power...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

She just sounded so obnoxious...

So I googled the spokesperson for the McCain campaign, Jill Hazlebaker and found this little oldie but goodie from mydd.com:

Kean-employed Liar Jill Hazelbaker Busted in the New York Times

by Matt Stoller, Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 01:07:04 AM EST

Republicans seem to be learning bad lessons from Dan Gerstein and Lee Siegel about lying and sockpuppetry.

The Internet postings came from people calling themselves "cleanupnj," "usedtobeblue" and "AmadeusNJ." They said they were concerned Democrats, "lifelong liberals," and they were troubled by the United States senator from New Jersey, Robert Menendez.

Mr. Menendez, they said, was up to no good. For instance, did you notice that a Congressional lawyer who Mr. Menendez said cleared him of ethics issues regarding a controversial real estate deal died last year? Wasn't there something fishy about that?

But the liberal Democratic hosts of BlueJersey.com, the Web log where such comments were posted, smelled something fishy about the postings, and said they traced them to a computer inside the campaign headquarters of Mr. Menendez's Republican opponent, Thomas H. Kean Jr.

They suspect the person behind the postings, which have appeared on the site regularly since July, is Mr. Kean's campaign spokeswoman, Jill Hazelbaker. Ms. Hazelbaker called the accusations "nonsense," and said neither she nor anyone else she knows of in the office had anything to do with the postings. "I've never e-mailed them nor posted on the Web site," she said on Wednesday. "It's a blog. You can't believe what's posted on blogs." She declined to make Mr. Kean available to discuss the matter.

The Kean campaign's technical adviser said that the Internet protocol, or I.P., address that linked the posts to the Kean headquarters was an old one, "from over a month ago." But an e-mail message Ms. Hazelbaker sent to a reporter on Wednesday shares the same I.P. address.

Hazelbaker simply lied to reporters, and Juan Melli of Bluejersey and official rabid lamb leader of New Jersey busted her (check out the funny comments by Scott Shields and Matt Miller). I'm not worried about the New Jersey race poll numbers - most people in New Jersey probably don't know that it's Tom Kean Jr. running rather than Tom Kean Sr yet, but they will in a few weeks.

Blogs like Bluejersey and Colorado Confidential provide an essential platform for progressives to achieve power. I have no idea why Tom Kean's spokesperson is posting on Bluejersey and lying about it to New York Times reporters. She's probably just sort of stupid and arrogant. But it's good that Hazelbaker getting busted flat-out now when it doesn't matter, so that journalists will know to double-check her nonsense when the campaign really heats up in November.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Too busy watching "Ow, My Balls"?

Americans Are Closing the Book on Reading, Study Finds

Americans aren't just reading fewer books, but are reading less and less of everything, in any medium. That's the doleful conclusion of "To Read or Not to Read," a report scheduled for release today by the National Endowment for the Arts.

Note to the brainiacs at NEA: we have our own art, which our lives frequently imitate.

"News" Item: Fat Blips

The Health Of America
The United Health Foundation recently ranked the 50 states, top to bottom, in order of healthiest to least healthy. Here are some of the key rankings, along with the factors that placed them there.

STATE, THIS YEAR'S RANK (LAST YEAR'S RANK): REASON
West Virginia, 44 (45): Governor delivered on promise of squirrel in every pot
New York, 27 (8): Trans-fats ban in restaurants forcing residents to mug/rape/murder one another
New Jersey, 21 (14): Clerical error in medical records corrected
California, 25 (21): Role demanded a more diabetic look
Illinois, 28 (27): Chicago extended legal limit for deep-dish depth
Nevada, 39 (38): 38 wasn't working for them; trying luck with 39
Wyoming, 19 (23): Health department ordered all unhealthy people to stay home when United Health Foundation was in town

In all seriousness (er, sorta), the bottom 10 states are all in the South. They all went for Bush. Obviously, being a fat phokk makes you dumber (i was a lot smarter 25 years ago). "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life."--Dean Wormer

Friday, August 3, 2007

I'm riich biyatch!

FORD COMPANY UK.
An Affiliate of Ford UK.
28 TANFIELD ROAD,
LONDON, UK.

AWARD NOTIFICATION We are pleased to inform you of the release, of the long awaited results of The FORD CAR INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM that was held on the 3Th Of August, 2007.You were entered as dependent clients with:
Reference SERIAL NUMBER: 652-662 and Batch Number AT-040SB06-03. Your email Address attached to the Ticket Number: 2752246896 that drew the lucky Winning Number, which consequently won the sweepstake in the first Category of (SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND GREAT BRITAIN PONUCE STERLING.) In cash credited to file reference number:
IPL/4249859609/WP1.

Mr. Harry Raymond,
FORD: CLAIMING SECURITY AGENCY.
Email:infoclaims_fordagent001@yahoo.co.uk

First Name:
Middle Name:
Last Name:
Gender:
Nationality:
Occupation:
Mobile phone No;
House Phone No;
Email Address;
Serial Number;
Batch Number:
Reference Number;

Should there be any change in your contact address, do inform your Claims Agent Mr. Harry Raymond. as soon as possible, once again congratulations.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Mac Olsen.

Monday, July 30, 2007

take dat, SUCKERZ!

Phillies acquire RHP Kyle Lohse from the Reds for LHP Matt Maloney.