MAC reaches new low in awfulness

Buffalo 42, Ball St. 24

DETROIT (AP)—Ball State fumbled away its perfect season.

The 12th-ranked Cardinals coughed it up four times and Buffalo scored off each turnover, routing the previously unbeaten team 42-24 Friday night in the Mid-American Conference championship game.

Ball State (12-1) finished the regular season undefeated for the first time since 1949, but entered the game without much of a shot to bust into the Bowl Championship Series because it trailed Utah in the standings.

The Bulls returned fumbles 92 and 74 yards on consecutive drives late in the third quarter to take a 28-17 lead.

Buffalo (8-5) won its first MAC title, capping the program’s first bowl-eligible season since joining college football’s top tier of teams in 1999

~

How are Fung and K-Mad to blame?

Chi White Sox 6 (86-72)
Minnesota 7 (87-72)
Final 10

That's Croatian "football"?

What a choke job. They SUCK. It looked the entire team was going to commit suicide afterwards. Is there crying in "football"?

[insert famous Croatian person's] phokking @ss.

Bad day at the office

Can't wait for the explanation here...

Fire crew aid in penis operation

Firefighters helped operate on a man who was rushed to hospital after getting a metal ring stuck on the end of his penis.

Doctors at Royal Wigan Infirmary in Greater Manchester put out the alert after fearing the man faced amputation as the ring cut off his blood supply.

Two firefighters used a mini hand grinder to cut through the ring during a 20-minute procedure.

It is understood the man, aged in his 40s, was given an anaesthetic.

The firefighters placed a thin sheet of metal around his penis to protect the skin while removing the ring, which appeared to have been cut off from the end of a pipe.

Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service confirmed fire crews were called to the hospital at around 12.10 GMT on Thursday to "deal with a situation".

A spokeswoman for Royal Wigan Infirmary said they were unable to comment about the incident.

If pAy-Rod is gonna make $27.5 mEEEEEEllion a year and still needs incentives: he's gutless.

Alex Rodriguez is expected to be guaranteed $275 million under terms of his 10-year deal with the Yankees. Among the incentives that could push the deal over $300 million will be bonuses for passing Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds on the all-time home run list. A-Rod is currently at 518 homers, leaving him 244 behind Bonds.

Hmmm, no incentives for not choking in the playoffs, or, like, winning the World Series? One would think that's the sort of incentive Choke-Rod needs. And didn't Hank Steinbrenner say that the Yankees were out of the A-Rod sweepstakes after he opted out of his last contract? That he was done in New York? Sounds like Hank is a chip-off-the-ol'-block (aka full@s#i+).

No Daily Show?

Could happen...

How a TV and movie writers strike would affect you

Uncanny Resemblance

An ingenious way to take down Obama. Hillary's kicking herself for not thinking of it, and thankful that someone else brought it up. Back in the day it woulda taken months to uncover this. With computers, it now take seconds. Damn computers!

Cheney, Obama 'distant cousins'

They may be polar opposites politically but US Vice-President Dick Cheney and Democratic candidate Barack Obama are related, Mr Cheney's wife says.

Lynne Cheney said she had discovered while doing family research for a new book that her husband and the Illinois senator were eighth cousins.

She said she traced a common ancestor of the two men to be a 17th century immigrant from France.

She described the connection as "amazing".

"This is such an amazing American story that one ancestor... could be responsible down the family line for lives that have taken such different and varied paths."

According to Mrs Cheney's spokeswoman, Mr Obama is distantly related to Mareen Duvall, whose son Samuel married the granddaughter of Mr Cheney's ancestor, also called Richard Cheney.

Mr Obama's spokesman, Bill Burton, responded to the news by saying: "Every family has a black sheep."

Mr Cheney, the brooding neo-conservative closely associated with the decision to invade Iraq, has little else in common with Mr Obama.

Mr Obama, the son of a Kenyan man and a white woman from Kansas, has earned epithets like "rock star" because of his popularity among young Democrats, and a reputation as a liberal because of his voting record in the Senate.

p.s. I couldn't tell where this picture fell on the Cheney emotional chart...

Scare tactics get personal

Letter from CTA President Ron Huberman

Dear CTA Customer:

Today, I unveiled the CTA's proposed 2008 budget that lays out a series of painful service cuts, fare increases and lay-offs that will happen on January 6, 2008. These actions are required to meet our legal obligation to submit a balanced budget and are in addition to those service cuts and fare increases that will take effect on November 4th.

All of us at the CTA understand that these service cuts and fare increases will cause you a tremendous hardship. We know that you will face fewer travel options, less frequent service and more crowded buses and trains. To make matters worse, the drastic measures described in the 2008 budget are in addition to the service cuts, fare increases and lay-offs that will take place on November 4th if the Illinois Legislature does not enact fundamental funding reforms.

It is important for our customers to know that all of us at the CTA do not want to see this budget become reality. We remain hopeful that the Illinois General Assembly will pass a long-term funding solution.

Please know that we sought to minimize the impact of our budget deficit wherever we could. For example, we reduced our costs by over $38 million this year alone - without impacting service. The CTA and its unions have also agreed to an unprecedented five-year contract, contingent on legislative action, which would enable the CTA to reduce costs and manage itself more like a business. The Illinois Legislature, however, has yet to pass the bill that would give the CTA authority to put these reforms in place. This inaction is costing the CTA more than $11 million each month.

So, while the CTA continues to look for every opportunity to cut costs, there is simply no way we can manage our way out of a $158 million deficit in 2008.

The CTA continues to fight for sufficient transit funding and we need your help. Please contact the Governor and your state legislators and tell them how important mass transit funding is to you. In addition to calling or writing your legislators, you can go to http://www.transitchicago.com/ where a link will allow you to easily send a message.

With your support, we are hopeful that we will finally get a long-term solution to the CTA's funding shortfalls and put future "doomsdays" to rest. If the State enacts pending legislation before November 4th, these service cuts and fare increases will not go into effect.

Sincerely yours,

Ron Huberman
President

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(cont)

Just accept it, all sports outcomes are pre-determined by bettors paying off players. What else can explain the Grossman like exploits of Romo on Monday?

Tennis chiefs battle match-fixers

Smiff's Pet? (cont)

Peacock 'fell in love with car'

Visitors to a Somerset stately home have been warned to keep away from a peacock - after he seriously damaged a luxury car he mistook for a mate.
The amorous bird caused £4,000 worth of damage to an employee's Lexus in the grounds of Sir Benjamin Slade's country manor, Maunsel House, near Bridgwater.
Warning signs have now been put up in the car park.
"It started when he fell in love with a Lexus, which was in a very distinct peacock blue," said Sir Benjamin.
"He attacked the panels so hard that the car needs a total respray. The insurers are not very happy about it.
"They've had claims for all sorts of things like lions biting people, but never have they heard of a peacock sexually attacking a car before," he added.
Sir Benjamin has offered to give away his 13th Century ancestral home to anyone distantly related to him.

dude, like the Mets, you SUCK

I, I have authoritah?

I see all sorts of pencils and screwdrives & wrenches all over the place. Does this mean I have authoritah? Ooh, can't wait to start tinkering...

Who're the commies again?

Government fighting to get between you and your cheeseburger

Mebbe I should go to Billy Goat's for lunch...

Just figured this one out myself...

Aug 18 Drew has been unable to recapture the hitting success he enjoyed last season, MLB.com reports.

Recommendation: After hitting .316 with 25 extra-base hits in 209 at-bats last year, Drew entered Friday's game with a .232 batting average and a .175 mark in August. On the plus side, he hasn't allowed the struggles at the plate to carry over into the field. "The biggest thing for me is to keep playing defense the way I have been," he said. "The hitting is there. I'm not worried about that". Thus far, Arizona has shown no inclination to sit their shortstop while his season-long tailspin continues unabated.

MLB.com - you can count on them to be right on top of these things...but you have to love the plug for the importance of defense...

Da Sox can't do nothin' right

- B. Jenks relieved M. MacDougal
- J. Gathright singled to left

Jenks gets to 0-2...one strike from the record...and can't close the deal. Example #785 why the Sox sux this year...and why hasn't the macho man manager hung himself in his office yet?

Better not piss her off

Woman Kills Raccoon With Her Bare Hands
By Associated Press
10:14 PM CDT, August 9, 2007

CHESHIRE, Conn. - A woman killed a raccoon with her bare hands Thursday when the animal attacked a young boy. Officials with Cheshire animal control say the woman was walking in the woods around 11 a.m. with a group of children when the animal bit the 5-year-old son of a friend. She pulled the raccoon off the child, told the children to run home and strangled the animal, authorities said. "She had the presence of mind to choke it," animal control officer April Leiler told the Record-Journal of Meriden. "She is one tough lady."
The carcass was taken to a state laboratory in Hartford where it tested positive for rabies. The woman and the boy are undergoing rabies treatment. Their names have not been released.