If Jesus came back today he would never stop throwing up...

Monks brawl at Christian holy site in Jerusalem

JERUSALEM (AP) -- Israeli police rushed into one of Christianity's holiest churches Sunday and arrested two clergyman after an argument between monks erupted into a brawl next to the site of Jesus' tomb.

The clash between Armenian and Greek Orthodox monks broke out in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, revered as the site of Jesus' crucifixion, burial and resurrection.

The brawling began during a procession of Armenian clergymen commemorating the 4th-century discovery of the cross believed to have been used to crucify Jesus....
~

he's also the taller monkey - a lot taller

I think people really are missing the point about McCain's failure to look at Obama. McCain was afraid of Obama. It was really clear--look at how much McCain blinked in the first half hour. I study monkey behavior--low ranking monkeys don't look at high ranking monkeys. In a physical, instinctive sense, Obama owned McCain tonight and I think the instant polling reflects that.

McCain's strangest statements of the night: Alexander the Great, Ike's letters (what the phokk was that?), South Koreans are taller than North Koreans (really, has he lost his mind?)...

~

who needs Baseball Prospectus when ya gots dis sort of wine-infused, elitist analysis...for FREE

7:34 PM me: talking to Decker...zzzzzzzzzzzz
7:35 PM Kevin: you knew da risks
excited about the Horror?
me: nope
7:36 PM Kevin: its early yet...
7:38 PM me: they look lucky to me
7:39 PM Kevin: just wait til i have all 7 of my pitchers back
7:42 PM me: box of wine in the mail today...i'm set
7:43 PM Decker to land Wed.
5 minutes
7:48 PM me: Chix kill Rajah and Dillon...nice going
7:49 PM Kevin: i was very pleased
me: you're so mean!
7:50 PM Kevin: YORVIT!
guone
7:51 PM me: Justin Germano? you got him? TOTALLY SUCKED
7:52 PM Kevin: no but he was a chicken for a while last year... prollaby still gots da hives an shit
me: oh, he's got SUCKS
7:53 PM Kevin: aint no pill gonna cure his illlzzzzzz
me: nope
speaking of sucking, Hacking Masser Matt Morris setting records for awfulness
7:54 PM Kevin: very not impressive... but can he keep his job (sucking)?
7:55 PM me: they'll have to pay him $8 mill or something, and then some other idiot GM will pick him up because...he's a proven veteran
Kevin: you need that in the clubhouse
7:56 PM "I feel good," Duchscherer said. "I took six days off after the strain. I started throwing after that, and I haven't felt a thing since I started throwing. I feel perfectly normal."
arrangements are pending
me: will there be a showing? or cremation?
Kevin: closed casket (too gruesome)
7:57 PM (for da kidddzzz)
me: speaking of dead people: Matt Chico...SUCKED
7:58 PM Kevin: shoulda picked him over bulger
me: well, he's still in the majors...
7:59 PM Kevin: although bulger's line as a horror: 1-0, 0.00 era, .000 baaa
baaa = batting average against... ASSHOLE
me: all you have to do is draft about anudder hundred of dem
8:00 PM Kevin: dere ya go
8:01 PM me: Correia dominating again...
8:02 PM didn't get Midwest results...6-0?
8:03 PM Kevin: regrettably, no
me: fuckers
8:05 PM Kevin: positive run diff
me: so we had a reverse-Horrors week
8:06 PM Kevin: horrorz had a positive run diff
8:07 PM horrorz +37 on the year
me: pinch-running for the Phillies: T.J. Bohn
Kevin: never heard of him
me: what are the Monks?
good Lord - Pedro Feliz drew a walk
8:08 PM Kevin: +44
me: there, i run rings round ya
Kevin: that you lack clutch hitting?
8:09 PM me: that and...
gfy
8:10 PM Kevin: just wait til horrror getts back bedard, grandy, and most importantly....
dan johnson
8:11 PM me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Carlos Diaz: bases loaded double
8:12 PM Kevin: canadiens... les habitants... da rezzzzzidents?
me: Bruntlett's up!
hu now? what? canucks? huuuuuuh?
Kevin: 24th time montreal has elimiliminated bruins from playoffs
8:13 PM me: Bruntlett: OUT!
Kevin: SHOCKING
me: let me make a wild guess here:
hockey?
8:14 PM Kevin: lucky
me: Bruntlett 0-4...now "batting" .170...who needs J-Roll?
8:15 PM Kevin: yes
capitalists still alive
8:19 PM me: - T.J. Bohn in left field
- B. Hawpe safe at first on left fielder T.J. Bohn's fielding error
8:20 PM Kevin: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
me: capitalists will win...flyers always choke in the playoffs
8:21 PM Y. Torrealba flied out to deep center...grab some bench Yorvit
8:23 PM R. Spilborghs struck out looking
he SUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKS
8:25 PM Kevin: he's ryan phokking spillborghzzzz for crissakes
8:26 PM me: i know...PHOKK HIM
DOWNTOWN
PRINT IT
Kevin: PLAYGROUND
8:27 PM me: C@CKS#CKERZ
Micah Bowie in...is dat floodgates i here?
hear, duh
8:28 PM Kevin: build an ark
me: Cookiehead Jenkins singles...
Kevin: not his real name?
8:29 PM me: Coste HBP
real name is Cookiehead, but gies by Geoff
or goes
8:32 PM Werth: DOUBLE
8:34 PM Bohn up - LOOK OUT
8:37 PM D O U B L E 2 R B I
T!
J!!
BOHN!!!
Kevin: stunning
8:38 PM me: Bowie's ERA: now 9.00
Horrors looking at him...
Kevin: he SUCKS
8:39 PM me: you're catching on...
and yet he's on your radar
8:40 PM it's a mystery
like G-O-D
Kevin: now you're catching on
8:41 PM chico: 0-4
8:42 PM he's just resting
he's just pining for the fjords
8:43 PM me: pining for the fee-YORDS? he's STONE DEAD
8:44 PM Chico didn't strike anyone out and he allowed three walks and eight hits. He was clearly struggling to locate his pitches, as evidenced by the bases-loaded walk he issued to Braves pitcher Tim Hudson. After back-to-back disastrous outings, Chico's spot in the rotation could be in jeopardy if he doesn't improve against the Cubs in his next outing.
in other words...AWFUL
8:45 PM Matt Morris was rocked for eight runs in four innings by the Marlins on Monday night. So far we've used "tagged," "pounded," and "rocked" to describe his outings this season. He allowed nine hits in the three innings, and two of them were home runs. This could be a very long season for Morris.
8:46 PM hmmm....Chix looking at him: Noah Lowry had an MRI on Monday after feeling a tingling sensation in his injured forearm.
8:47 PM ?
Phillies CRUSH Rockies
8:48 PM Conor Jackson: .357
8:49 PM Kevin: hate (though he'sstill a smelt)
Chris Young was held out of Sunday's lineup because of flu-like symptoms.
bird flu?
8:50 PM me: can you die from that? then...yes
8:54 PM Kevin: bedtime
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
8:55 PM me: yes
11? early...must be out of fucking merlot

Thieving monkeys 'out of control' in northeast India
Sat Nov 17, 12:12 PM ET

Troupes of monkeys are out of control in India's northeast, stealing mobile phones and breaking into homes to steal soft drinks from refrigerators, lawmakers in the region have complained.

"Monkeys are wreaking havoc in my constituency by taking away mobile phones, toothpastes, sipping coke after opening the refrigerators," Hiren Das told Assam state's assembly.

He said the primates were "even slapping women who try to chase them".

"It is a cause of serious concern in my area, with more than 1,000 such simians turning aggressive by the day," fumed Goneswar Das, another legislator representing Raha in eastern Assam.

Assam's wildlife minister, Rockybul Hussain, said the state government has formed a panel to study the problem.

Because of shrinking forest cover, monkeys have increasingly moved into cities elsewhere in India as well.

Last week, around two dozen people were hurt after monkeys rampaged through a New Delhi neighbourhood.

Last month, the deputy mayor of Delhi died when he fell from his balcony after being attacked by monkeys.

Efforts to drive out the animals is complicated by the fact that devout Hindus view them as an incarnation of Hanuman, the monkey god who symbolises strength.

those monkeys are pretty smart

News Item: "Sibu the orangutan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes...."

words elude me

Erstad gets Pods' spot at leadoff

who said it?

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is."

"I think it's also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn."

democracy, and why it never works

I just made you all administrators, so you should all be able to get to the template now.