MAC reaches new low in awfulness

Buffalo 42, Ball St. 24

DETROIT (AP)—Ball State fumbled away its perfect season.

The 12th-ranked Cardinals coughed it up four times and Buffalo scored off each turnover, routing the previously unbeaten team 42-24 Friday night in the Mid-American Conference championship game.

Ball State (12-1) finished the regular season undefeated for the first time since 1949, but entered the game without much of a shot to bust into the Bowl Championship Series because it trailed Utah in the standings.

The Bulls returned fumbles 92 and 74 yards on consecutive drives late in the third quarter to take a 28-17 lead.

Buffalo (8-5) won its first MAC title, capping the program’s first bowl-eligible season since joining college football’s top tier of teams in 1999

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Is someone playing Taps? Decker?

Free agent Greg Maddux will announce his retirement Monday at the baseball winter meetings in Las Vegas. The future first-ballot Hall of Famer makes his home in Vegas, so he doesn't have far to go. Agent Scott Boras confirmed the decision on Friday.
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dis doesn't happen to pets in SoCal

Dog frozen to Wis. sidewalk; fat helped it survive
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) -- A dog weighing more than 120 pounds survived being frozen to a sidewalk overnight, probably because he was insulated by layers of fat, authorities said. The Sheboygan County Humane Society says the "morbidly obese" dog, an aging border collie mix named Jiffy, froze to the sidewalk when he was left out overnight Wednesday. Shelter manager Carey Payne says few dogs could survive the single-digit temperatures, and it was probably the fat that made the difference.
Jiffy's 59-year-old owner was arrested Thursday morning on suspicion of animal neglect, Sheboygan Police Lt. Tim Eirich said. She told police she tried to get the dog inside but couldn't, and instead checked on him every few hours.
The dog is 11 or 12 years old, Eirich said. Shelter workers poured warm water over Jiffy's back end to unstick him from the sidewalk, Payne said, and it was too soon to say whether he suffered any long-term effects.

Planetary Bush Disaster (soon)

Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush’s Future

"Let’s hope that President Bush, in figuring out what to do in his post-presidency, borrows a page from Jimmy Carter. There are lots of diseases waiting for a wealthy, well-connected Texan to lead the fight against."

Really? Would we want George Bush to take up the cause of disease eradication? I think the record indicates that he would be the best friend pestilence ever had.

You know the Guinea Worm sees a way out here...

45 days to go...are we going to make it??? (cont'd)

45 days to go...are we going to make it???

Employers cut most jobs in 34 years (AP)
AP - Skittish employers slashed 533,000 jobs in November, the most in 34 years, catapulting the unemployment rate to 6.7 percent, dramatic proof the country is careening deeper into recession....
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The Iraq war should be run more like a business

Suit claims Halliburton, KBR sickened base

A Georgia man has filed a lawsuit against contractor KBR and its former parent company, Halliburton, saying the companies exposed everyone at Joint Base Balad in Iraq to unsafe water, food and hazardous fumes from the burn pit there.

“Defendants promised the United States government that they would supply safe water for hygienic and recreational uses, safe food supplies and properly operate base incinerators to dispose of medical waste safely,” according to the lawsuit, filed Nov. 26 in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of Texas. “Defendants utterly failed to perform their promised duties.”
. . .

“Defendants knowingly and intentionally supplied and served food that was well past its expiration date, in some cases over a year past its expiration date,” the lawsuit states. “Even when it was called to the attention of the KBR food service managers that the food was expired, KBR still served the food to U.S. forces.”

The food included chicken, beef, fish, eggs and dairy products, which caused cases of salmonella poisoning, according to the lawsuit.
. . .

The lawsuit also accuses KBR of shipping ice in mortuary trucks that “still had traces of body fluids and putrefied remains in them when they were loaded with ice. This ice was served to U.S. forces.”

Eller also accuses KBR of failing to maintain a medical incinerator at Joint Base Balad, which has been confirmed by two surgeons in interviews with Military Times about the Balad burn pit. Instead, according to the lawsuit and the physicians, medical waste, such as needles, amputated body parts and bloody bandages were burned in the open-air pit.

“Wild dogs in the area raided the burn pit and carried off human remains,” the lawsuit states. “The wild dogs could be seen roaming the base with body parts in their mouths, to the great distress of the U.S. forces.”

The ever changing Fung

Once I was a person. Then I was a fungus. Then I was a douchebag, allegedly with hot chick. Now, I have transformed into a virus. Or a Trojan. Thanks once again go to Briggs (whitey) for bringing this to my attention. I hadn't noticed any change till he brought it up.

WTF??

Did you guys miss this?



OMG you guys!!!!



How did you guys miss this? I clicked on our friends at FJM and found this link, right under the one where they say they're done with posting on that site. WTF are you so busy with that you missed this one?

Cupcake Watch

Northern Illinois 55
Air Force 67

North Carolina 98
Michigan St. 63

Florida St. 59
Northwestern 73

Cornell 78
Syracuse 88

Indiana 58
Wake Forest 83

Ill. Chicago 74
Vanderbilt 55

SW Assemblies of God 65
Texas St. 110
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The Palin Effect in reverse, or, brain-dead Floridians whut cain't tell the difference between Barack Obama and a radio prankster

I wonder what tipped her off? Maybe the phony French accent.

Ros-Lehtinen hangs up on Obama. Twice.

Is Ileana Ros-Lehtinen a little paranoid?

Maybe.

On Wednesday, the Republican congresswoman got a call from President-elect Barack Obama, didn't believe it was him, and hung up on him. Twice.

According to Ros-Lehtinen's flack Alex Cruz, the congresswoman received the call on her cell phone from a Chicago-based number and an aide informed her that Obama wanted to speak to her. When Obama introduced himself, Ros-Lehtinen cut him off and said, "I'm sorry but I think this is a joke from one of the South Florida radio stations known for these pranks." Then she hung up.

Moments later, Obama tried again, this time through his soon-to-be chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel.

"Ileana, I cannot believe you hung up on the President-Elect," Emanuel said. And then--yes, you know what's coming--she hung up on Emanuel saying she "didn't believe the call was legitimate."

Too Many Admins...

Somebody changed our blog archive to go by month instead of week. Whodunit? Fess up. You know how we feel about "change" here at the LoC. Why would you take away such an avenue of discussion? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!

Oh, whitey (cont'd)... and you too Alan Keyes...

Suit contesting Barack Obama's citizenship heads to U.S. Supreme Court Friday

The U.S. Supreme Court will consider Friday whether to take up a lawsuit challenging President-elect Barack Obama's U.S. citizenship, a continuation of a New Jersey case embraced by some opponents of Obama's election.

The meeting of justices will coincide with a vigil by the filer's supporters in Washington on the steps of the nation's highest court. . .

Legal experts say the appeal has little chance of succeeding, despite appearing on the court's schedule. Legal records show it is only the tip of an iceberg of nationwide efforts seeking to derail Obama's election over accusations that he either wasn't born a U.S. citizen or that he later renounced his citizenship in Indonesia.

He Guone

Will he be missed?

A random treat from the LoC archives...

2007... it was a simpler time...

Apart from spending the rest of our lives cleaning up after him, what will we ever do without him?

Catching up with da RezzziDUNCE

Want to park here for a couple of hours? Bring 52 quarters...

Okay, presumably they'll have done away with quarter meters by then and found a way to suck the money directly out of your kids' college fund, but still...

News item: Motorists will pay $6.50 an hour by 2013 to feed downtown parking meters

But at least all that extra cash is making it easier to get around town...

Daley warns drivers: Slow down when it snows

On Tuesday, Mayor Daley and Streets and Sanitation Commissioner Michael Picardi warned Chicago motorists to drive slower when the weather turns ugly and expect to wait longer to get side streets plowed as the city seeks to do more with less. . .

The mayor warned: "Next year is gonna get worse than this year. ... Once January comes, hold onto your pants. Smiff: Lord knows this means you above all."

this is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Maldives’ escape plan for rising seas

The new President of the Maldives says he will begin buying land in other nations as "an insurance policy" in case his nation needs to be evacuated due to rising sea levels from climate change.

because he hasn't totally killed him off yet

Reds' Dusty Baker wants to manage Kerry Wootz again

"We have a closer already in [Francisco] Cordero, who we have under contract for a few more years," Baker said Monday. "But somebody can use Kerry Wootz. I am going to call him. I like Kerry Wootz as a person, not just as a ballplayer, but as a person. I will give him a call and see what's up... man"

when irresistible suction force meets immovable vacuum object (part II)

Chicago State at Northern Illinois, Saturday December 6, 2pm

when irresistible suction force meets immovable vacuum object (part I)

News item: The Northern Illinois men's basketball had a chance to meet, and take photos with, Alaska governor Sarah Palin, who was in attendance at the Great Alaska Shootout on both Friday and Saturday.

but they make good toothpaste

Syracuse 86, Colgate 51

Syracuse jumped to an early 17-2 lead less than five minutes into the contest with Harris and Flynn accounting for 15 of that total. Flynn started the barrage by opening the game with a three and then quickly followed with a zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

k-mad already scheming to end their careers, or, why does k-mad do it?

Indian baseball players chase American dream

NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Two Indian youngsters chasing the American baseball dream have taken an important first step when the Pittsburgh Pirates signed them up as non-draft free agents.

Left-hander Rinku Singh and Dinesh Kumar Patel pitched in front of scouts from the Pirates and other Major League organizations on November 12 before being chosen, a statement on the club website said.

The players, with shoulder strength gained through their initial training to become javelin throwers, earned a U.S. training stint in May after topping a pitching contest in India, "The Million-Dollar Arm," which offered the winner $100,000.

Singh, 20, who won that contest and Patel, 19, will now take part in the Pirates' Minor League spring training next year.

Their promoters hope they can make it as professionals, saying such success would boost baseball in cricket-mad India in the same way that Yao Ming's move to the NBA created a fan base for basketball in China. . .

K-Mad already scheming to end her career...

Japanese schoolgirl signs pro baseball contract
TOKYO (AP) -- A 16-year-old Japanese girl signed with a regional baseball team Tuesday, becoming the country's first female professional baseball player.
Eri Yoshida, a knuckleball pitcher, will play for the Kobe 9 Cruise in a new independent league starting in April 2009. The team selected her last month along with 31 male players in the league draft.
"I still don't feel like I've really become a pro baseball player, but I want to do my best," Yoshida said at a news conference after signing her contract. "My specialty is the knuckleball, so I really want to be able to get batters out using it effectively."
The Cruise are more like a farm team and a far cry from Japan's mainstream pro teams such as the Tokyo Yomiuri Giants. But the 5-foot, 114-pound Yoshida has broken a barrier in baseball-crazy Japan, where women are normally relegated to amateur, company-sponsored teams or to softball.
Yoshida, who started playing baseball when she was in second grade, said she wants to emulate Boston Red Sox pitcher Tim Wakefield, who has built a successful major league career as a knuckleballer.
The fledgling Japanese League, based in western Japan, is hoping to find enough success to eventually challenge the likes of the long-established Central and Pacific leagues. Those leagues, home to the best Japanese players, have become an increasingly fertile ground for talent headed to the U.S. major leagues.
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I suck, but you voted for me, so who's really to blame?

Bush remorseful on financial crisis: 'I'm sorry it's happening...also, I SUCK'

Asked if he would have ordered the U.S.-led invasion if intelligence reports had accurately indicated that Saddam did not have the weapons, Bush replied: "You know, that's an interesting question. That is a do-over that I can't do. It's hard for me to speculate."

Phokk You.

"I think I was unprepared for war," he said. "In other words, I didn't campaign and say, `Please vote for me, I'll be able to handle an attack.' In other words, I didn't anticipate war. Presidents — one of the things about the modern presidency is that the unexpected will happen."

Interesting. I wonder who started the war...anybody know?

As he leaves office, Bush said he felt responsible for the economic downturn because it's occurring on his watch, but he added: "I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so" before he became president.

I knew it - all Clinton's fault. Carter, too, that phokk.

Later in the interview, he said: "I can't guarantee that we'll get all our money back, but it's conceivable we could."

Said the man who couldn't find oil in Texas, or his ass with both hands.
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Anudder heartwarming holiday tale...

Hey kids: BLAMMO!

Motive still unclear in Toys "R'' Us fatal shootings

Moreno and Meza apparently shot each other, as evidenced by two guns recovered near their bodies and eyewitness accounts. The store reopened Saturday with extra security on hand.

Witnesses said the men were with two women who got into a fight that escalated into the fatal shootings, which sent terrified shoppers and their children scrambling for safety.

“I think the obvious question everyone has is who takes loaded weapons into a Toys R Us?” Ferguson said. “I doubt it was the casual holiday shopper."
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Shocking (cont)

Bush says some voters backed Obama ‘because of me’

Really? Why is it always about you? Why can't it be about someone else? Are you still here? Perhaps you should have sucked less then. You know, help your party stay in power, done what the people wanted, you know, stuff like that.

Ever wonder why i'm named Smith?

Plaxico Burress reportedly sought treatment for his gunshot wound Friday night by checking himself into a hospital under the codename "Harris Smith."
Plax also allegedly told medical staff at New York-Cornell Hospital that he'd been shot at an Applebee's. Hospital workers immediately recognized him and did not report the injury to authorities, putting them at risk of legal action. Police found Burress' gun after searching his home with him not present.
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German acts of Christmas retailing

Vendor sells all-natural dildos at Hamburg Christmas market

One vendor at the Santa Pauli Christmas market in Hamburg has taken a non-traditional but all-natural approach to Christmas gifts this year, selling handmade spruce wood dildos, daily Hamburger Morgenpost reported on Friday.

desperate acts of online retailing (or maybe I'm just padding LoC's post count)

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We've noticed that customers who have purchased or rated Bill James Handbook 2009 (Bill James Handbook) have also purchased Don Cherry's Hard Hitting Hockey on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that Don Cherry's Hard Hitting Hockey will be released on December 2, 2008.

Yes, the experience of sitting down with a Bill James book just isn't complete without a Don Cherry DVD to pop into the tele.

We suck

4 straight weeks of declining posts? If we're not careful, we'll lose our reader.