Who's sick of dis s#i+? Well, we're here, we're drunk, get used to it...

7:40 PM me: AWFUL
8 minutes
7:48 PM me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
9 minutes
7:58 PM me: Jason Botts: HYOOGE tonight - he's a Wyvern
Kevin: what's his real name?
7:59 PM me: Rael Spoonbender
Kevin: thats almost as funny as botts
how will they blow it?
8:00 PM Cincinnati 3
Chi Cubs 12
Top 9th
8:01 PM me: Obama/Clinton: The Threatdown coming on here right now
Kevin: i have bbc news -- dis guy talks funny
top story: clinton/obama: the bludgeoning
8:02 PM obama clearly doesn't get it
8:03 PM clinton: yeah i'm fullashit, get over it
8:05 PM bbc shows stuff you never see in merrika. like: s#i+ blowing up... people blowing up... children blowing up...
8:06 PM me: sounds like a bummer - i'd rather see "Secret Talents of Celebrities"
Kevin: me too! or dancing with the stars!
8:07 PM things are wonderful :-)
me: or grade C celebs losing weight
8:08 PM Concannon Central Coast Petite Sirah Limited Release 2005
Kevin: or grade C ballplayers losing ballgames
limited release - woo-woo
me: Chico?
8:09 PM Kevin: yellow tail shiraz
me: so limited the liquor store on the corner owned by armenians has it for $12
Kevin: 5.50 a bottle at dominics, 100 times better than the cheap shit at tjs
8:10 PM i'm off the chico bandwagon for now but ready to jump on if it starts to look like it's filling up
me: sounds like you - shitwagon jumper
Kevin: yeppers! :-)
8:11 PM rezzidunce and pope ratzo together -- write your own punch line
me: Tallet dominating: 2 outs, 3 baserunners, no runs...
Kevin: good thing i told you to draft him
8:12 PM me: "I'll torture him, while you sexually molest him, we'll both cover it up."
Kevin: i saw the white house for the very first time a couple weeks ago
made me wretch
guess i really do hate america after all
8:13 PM me: HATER
Kevin: brits pronounce vitamin as "veetamin" -- these are our allies?
i phink ot
niot
not
n-o-t not
8:14 PM america shouldn't feel too bad -- i hate everything
me: shed-yule? what's that shit?
Kevin: there there america... it's ok...
da phokkers should learn ta speak english
phokkers
8:15 PM me: Hillary is a grandaughter of a factory worker from Scranton, a Methodist! SO stuff it!!
Kevin: annudder phing bout da brits -- bear-ack obama? who is dat?
8:16 PM me: Cubs pulled it out...
Kevin: bear-ack... sounds like pig latin
finally some good news
chinese pigs! funny...
8:17 PM me: 2nd bottle already?
Kevin: howdja guess?
me: just lucky
Kevin: you havent watched bbc world til you've watched it on 2 bottles of shirazez
8:18 PM so i guess hillary is not an elitist then? despite the 68 beeeeeeelllllllion dollars they reported on their taxes?
me: you can probably say that about any show
8:19 PM Kevin: i'm bill clinton. here are three amusing anecdotes. write me a check for six figures
me: hello...descendent of a factory worker, Methodist...
8:20 PM Kevin: wait... does that make her the last living descendent of jesus?
i phink so
here'
8:21 PM here's another thing the brits like to say at EVERY opportunity: "police with water cannon" not A water cannon? not water cannons? they work this into every conversation. watch...
you'll see
me: dats da King's English i pfink
8:22 PM Kevin: pfink is also da kings english i pfink
me: diffrent dan Merican english
Hillary: "Proven record of results" should could play for Dusty!
8:23 PM Kevin: you need dat veteran prezzents in da white house
8:25 PM joe SMIFF -- lights out tonight
me: OhlenDORF: only 1 run allowed tonight
8:26 PM Kevin: though i wonder -- whats his real name?
dorf on baseball? he da dorfman
me: Fitzcarraldo Mellonball
8:29 PM King Felix/Blanton tonight: Cherry showdown
Kevin: dreadful
me: Blanton: sucky
Kevin: figgers
me: you fault
Kevin: true
8:30 PM me: Buck: hitless (cont'd)
Kevin: trabbis schmuck? you knew da risks
tabbis smiley coming on
8:31 PM me: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: its brought to me by viewers like me
me: Rev. Wright blah blah blah...............
Kevin: he is not a obama fan
8:32 PM he gots da whirlcom whistleblower lady on tonight... but... SHE DOES NOT HAVE A WHISTLE... feeling cheated right now...
8:33 PM me: whirlcom? dishwasher?
Kevin: i phink dey ran da world or something
til dere s#i+ blew up
8:34 PM i would really like to hear her whistle
financial shit blah blah blah financial shit -- BORRRRRRRRRRRRRR-INGGGGGGGGGGGGG
me: maybe you could whistle with one of the empty wine bottles?
8:37 PM Kevin: tabbis's favorite question: "talk to me about..."
8:38 PM 2nd favorite question: "unpack this for me"
8:39 PM I AM NOT A WHISTLEBLOWER... why should i have to whistle?
me: she brought luggage and he wants it unpacked?
Kevin: yeah, i phink so
8:40 PM here's a quick rundown of commercial tv: something inane... something stooopid... comcast commercial... comcast commercial... comcast commercial... comcast commercial... something inane... repeat until envying the dead...
me: maybe her whistle is her bad somewherez
8:43 PM Kevin: know who SUCKS lately? trabbis hafner. want him in wellness?
8:44 PM me: don't need him - just picked up Conor "Bushy Eyebrows" Jackson
and i already have Thome at utility
Kevin: i saw dat - phokker.
new guest: hates god
8:45 PM me: do they have a whistle?
Kevin: up his ass
8:46 PM me: is he playing it?
Kevin: you dont want to know
8:47 PM he's equating chrissy hitchens with right wing religious fundamentalists
8:48 PM me: gotta agree deres
Kevin: chris hedges - i don't believe in atheists
tabbis: talk to me about...
8:49 PM jester: amuse me!
8:50 PM newest bluestem: the former jeff niemann -- he will be missed
my head hurts
me: more booze?
8:51 PM Kevin: dat might do da trick
irish whiskey?
me: Stephanoouplous asks important question about Obama and the Weather Underground.............
8:52 PM now, what is his connection to Che Guevara?
8:54 PM Yunel Escobar finished 2-for-4 with a two-run homer on Wednesday night. He also walked. Escobar is now hitting .345 out of the two hole in Atlanta, with a hitting streak that currently stands at nine games. Smiff SHTOLE him.
8:56 PM Kevin: i get him and da big yuniesky mixed up
8:59 PM me: Yuniesky is da one dat SUCKS
Kevin: chix surge to 5th... the surge is saving us...
9:00 PM now up: cholly rose
his black eye looks all better
me: must be Bowker
Kevin: his guests are sure to be hectoring liberal america-haters
me: black eye?
9:01 PM Kevin: cholly hads a black eye a coupla weeks ago... i phink bill orally mighta punched him out
9:02 PM or mebbe he is in a senior cage fighting league
9:03 PM first guest: "fighting global povery"... wah wah wah why am i not a happy plutocrat wah wah wah
bush announces new greenhouse gas targets by 2025.... bush leaves office like 9 months from now
9:04 PM also -- we will cure acne by 2050
as god is my witlessness
9:05 PM me: sounds like a plan
Kevin: good phing yer on board
me: who likes pus on their face?
9:06 PM Charlie Rose
Charlie Rose's middle name is Peete
Kevin: dat would exxplain a lot
9:09 PM me: Rebecca is going to be the boss of me
9:10 PM Kevin: serves you right
me: totally phokked
Kevin: i see dead people (well one anyway)
9:11 PM me: it would get me out of ALA CRAP
Kevin: i (the dead) would envy you (the living)
me: sucker
9:12 PM Kevin: totally phokked'
me: Hillary: "The fact is..."
9:13 PM Kevin: in udder words: "here comes a YOOOOGE ball'o'bulls#i+..."
me: si, senor
Kevin: she SUCKS
9:14 PM though a meeeeeeellllllion times better (or not as bad) den (as) wotz we gotz now
me: though still a BAJILLION times better than Dumbya/Dick!
Kevin: dere ya go
like i said
9:15 PM whut i was sayin
git'r'rdone
me: Tird bottle?
9:16 PM Kevin: ever listen to any firesign theater records?
me: er, 25 years ago?
Kevin: yeah, ok, but did you?
9:17 PM me: prolly, can' say i remember anypfing
Kevin: i know you were like a SMALL CHILD den but answer da question
deres a bushian answer
me: shit, calm down, jesus...
9:18 PM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: i can't recall... as far as i can recall... i have no specific recollection... can't recall... can't recall... as far as i can recollect...
me: come on grandpa, were dose phonograph records?
9:19 PM i misremembered
9:20 PM Kevin: yeah you know, wid da needle an da speekers and da sound coming outta da speakers an da noise hitting your eardrum and creating a reaction wich makes you expell air spasmodically while da corners of your mouf curl up an shit...
me: sounds quaint
9:21 PM Kevin: kinda quaint when you phink about it yean
yeah
dis just in - erik bedard is dead - k-mad being blamed
9:22 PM me: i'll loof for dat on da newz
9:23 PM didn't mean look, meant loof
9:24 PM C.C. Sabathia: 13.50 ERA - how are you to blame?
9:26 PM Kevin: i can't think of a single k-mad/sabbathia nexus, but surely its my fault somehow
me: he's a pitcher?
9:29 PM Giants optioned RHP Keiichi Yabu to Triple-A Fresno.
9:30 PM Rays placed RHP Al Reyes on the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to April 15, with a shoulder impingement and affay.
Kevin: yabu-dabu-do
feh... it's not like a horrorz need pitching...
9:31 PM me: you're deep there
9:32 PM i'll trade you Randor "0.00" Bierd
Kevin: when will tiger wootz reveal that his real name is tiger osama bin-mc-lovinit-dot-com-bin-mcs#i+-blowing-up?
wucha want for da bierdster?
9:33 PM me: rd 13 and a rookie slot?
9:34 PM Kevin: you would ask for a round 13 while cholly is interviewing da director of da ERFFF INNNstitute?
AHHHHNOLD will be on cholly next week
me: i'm sneaky
9:35 PM Kevin: if cholly becomes gubnor of kollyforniyal, i phink you will have to be chollyforniya
me: Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger says the U.S. Supreme Court decision to allow lethal injections for death row inmates affirms California's capital punishment procedure and would allow executions to resume.
9:36 PM makes sense
9:37 PM Hillary got fucked by a group of truckers last week in Harrisburg
Kevin: just make sure its da RIGHT CHOLLY... cuz cholly manual wud try to sneak in under any technicality
is dere film?
me: she may have said met
9:38 PM Kevin: "met" -- we know we know...
depends on what da meaning of da word "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz".............. izzzzzz.........
me: how about Cholly Gibson, the stupid phokk conducting da debate
9:39 PM Kevin: is he a chollly? end of story
9:40 PM me: CLA Merediff: hammered tonight. now dat one is one you.
Kevin: mary kicked @ss today, according to an unbiased report (mary) -- hope for more of the same tomorrow
me: dats good
9:41 PM starts May 1 den?
Kevin: probally
CLA? hammered? fullas#i+
9:42 PM me: http://www.bustedtees.com/myotherhatisalsoretarded
Podzzzie wuz in da middle of the ass whalloping CLA took
9:43 PM Glenn-Done Rush also touched up a bit
9:44 PM Kevin: no-phanks
me: King Felix: CG, 1 ER, Smiff gets the credit
9:45 PM Kevin: bluestem pitching has always been da prairie chicken in dal coal mine... time for me to check out again i phink'
me: zzzhkjh;jklzhh;jkh;hz'h'hh'lh'lkh'lkhlh'lzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
9:50 PM dats Klingon