Unofficial Results

Parcers Basketball League 2007

1. Briggs 111
3. Corms 80.5
6. Smiff 72
8. Fung 60
11. (dis be dead last) Sarge 49

Briggs (frequent reader) finally gets a full ring in year 8. He's had a freaky record over the years. I don't believe he's finished worse than 4th, and he had a tie for the championship one year, but mostly he's been in 2nd place. A lot. Usually losing out on the last day of the season because he played this guy when he should have played that guy, or Fred Hoiberg (who?) hit a 3 for someone else to deny him or he did enuff to overtake the guy in first, it's just the guy in 4th went past everyone else, any sort of drama you can think of to keep him from winning has happened. Except for this year. He got into a commanding lead early and never relinquished it. 27.5 point victory, why that's Smiff dominance levels right there. That should be a record victory, as well as a record for most points, but we'll have to go back and verify that. OK fine, Briggs should have the answer for us in about say 12 minutes. That's if he doesn't already know. But seriously, congrats go out to the new champion, who finally achieves what he has deserved after all these years of dominance.

Corms on the other hand is more famous for his exploits at the other end of the standings. I believe he has the record for fewest points in a year (Briggs?). He sucked all the way to getting LeBron and Stoudemire and now he doesn't suck so much. He finishes in the money for the first time, so I believe that leaves the commish (yours truly) as the only original member not to finish in the top 4. Who's embarrased now?

Smiff, despite not knowing what the phokk was going on, finished 6th. An excellent showing for a first time member. He inherited an abandoned team and nursed them to a middling finish, though it looked like he could have finished in the money at one point. He, of course, will blame it on the commissioner not fully explaining every single rule to him before the season started. Here's one more Smiff - there's no taxi squad in basketball.

Fung, well Fung needs frontcourt help. Fast.

As for Sarge, well, he gambled on getting Durant. He lost, and ended up with Oden instead. So he was always playing one short, and with a brand new team that didn't gel in their first year together. He'll be looking to get his team back to the glory years of whatever year it was that we let him win the championship.

Not mentioned: K-Mad (too sexy for Fantasy Basketball), Ranger (if it's not X-Men, he doesn't care).