Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Born Liar : Lying Liar : A Liar That Lies : Liar : A Lie
"I want to state clearly and without qualification: I did not take steroids, human growth hormone or any other banned substances at any time in my baseball career or, in fact, my entire life," liar Roger "Liar" Clemens, a liar, lied in a statement issued by his lying agent, a liar. "Those substances represent a dangerous and destructive shortcut that no athlete should ever take," he lying lied while lying.
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Roger insisted today that he had never masturbated at all either.
In a related item, he also insisted he has never farted, picked his nose, looked down a girl's shirt, even when she was leaning over at the store while checking out his items and he could totally have looked but he looked at his watch and out toward the exit instead so as not to notice that she had a black bra with half cups showing off the tops of what promised to have nice bottoms, neither has he ever cursed while in traffic nor any other nothings.
The fact that he looks like a horse with an ass face has nothing to do with steroids, it was just something somebody injected in him that made him throw shards of a bat at Mike Piazza and yell and act like an ass at every opportunity for the last decade or so.
Having said all that, how surprised were you to see Curt Schilling weigh in on all this?
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