How to Flush MEEEEEEEllions Down da Terlet

Wouldn't trust him to take the garbage to the curb:

SI.com's Jon Heyman believes the Mets and free agent Oliver Perez are too far apart in negotiations for a deal to be reached. Heyman lists the Brewers, Dodgers, Reds and perhaps the Mariners as potential suitors for Perez. He's believed to want $14 million per season for five years.

Half of the 5 years will be spent on the D.L.:

Yankees signed RHP A.J. Burnett, who had been with the Blue Jays, to a five-year, $82.5 million contract. The Yanks announcing a big contract six days after it was agreed to is actually pretty good for them. Most players have to wait weeks. The details of Burnett's deal still aren't known, such as the annual salary breakdown and what kind of no-trade protection he received. He will average $16.5 million per season, which is a nice raise from the $12 million per year that he would have earned in the final two seasons of his contract with the Jays.

Didn't he like totally suck last year:

According to SI.com's Jon Heyman's, Andy "Pettitte's people apparently are telling folks he has a $36 million, three-year offer" from an unnamed team. A rather odd line. Pettitte's "people" are the Hendricks brothers, unless Heyman is using the word to refer a group other than his agents, and they haven't gone public with much of anything regarding the Pettitte negotiations. This could be nothing more than an attempt to get the Yankees to boost their offer. Pettitte wants to stay in New York, and he hasn't gone looking for a multiyear deal since leaving Houston.

And the coup de grâce, the drunk, gutless, neverwuz... Royals GM Dayton Moore must have reached this decison thusly: "Hmmm, I've heard of him...he's still in major league baseball, right?...a proven veteran...sold!"

Royals agreed to terms with RHP Kyle Farnsworth, who had been with the Tigers, on a two-year, $9.25 million contract with a club option for 2011. We'll be generous and say Farnsworth is just as good of a bet as Ramon Ramirez for next year, even though Ramirez was the far better pitcher last season. That would essentially mean that the Royals are paying $9.25 million for Coco Crisp. After all, Ramirez was going to make about $500,000, while Crisp comes in at $5.5 million. Farnsworth will get $4.25 million next year and $4.5 million in 2010. There's a $5.25 million option for 2011 with a $500,000 buyout. It's a ridiculous sum for a small-market team to be spending on a reliever who has graded out as below average each of the last three seasons.
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