k-mad scours da Trib headlines so you don't have to

Cicadas on the march
Chicago Gardener: They're here!
My phokkkking @@sss... I hear nuttin, I see nuttin...

Vote: Which Sox reliever scares you?
How many votes do I get?

Dikka's retort: Gene Upshaw a fraud
Iz dat da teacup calling da teakettle a tea receptacle, or what?

Acting weird? That's so Piniella
Is Smiff writing dese?

Phil Rogers: Baseball's other black eye
Drool Cup? A hack maybe, but a black eye on baseball? Well, maybe...

Vote: Which Cubs reliever scares you?
How many votes do Sarge and Corms get?

Clemens' return may come at Cell
Road trip? 'Boo til ya Spew' Nite at da Cell?

Worker dies at Tribune facility
Police say the man was caught in a conveyor. Video
Dey show video of dere own workers being eaten by dere machines? How Monty Burns can you get?

Flooding, lightning hit suburbs
Strong storms lead to two fires and flooding.
My phokkking @@@ssss... I saw nuttin, I heard nuttin...