Washington Nationals

My hometown Nationals are 2-1 going into tonight's game against the Phillies. In the last game, my little guy turned two outs in a single inning with force-outs at second. At the plate he drove one hard down the third base line. We are working on hitting as he just hacks at the ball (batts left, throws right) and he has recently developed a fear of catching a thrown ball. Kindergardeners! Any words of wisdom from the plethora of potential brain-dead GMs on the site here? Where on the interwebs can I find how to help him in the very basics.

GM

Can I now root for GM to fail? In response to the curent market downturn, which has hit their truck and large vehicle sales particularly hard, they have decided to eliminate Saturn (small European-based cars, until recently no trucks), explore the sale of Saab (now bankrupt, small Americanized Euro cars, until recently no trucks), explore the sale of Hummer (wow!), and eliminate Pontiac (small sporty cars, until recently no trucks). Outside of US they are also looking for potential bidders for Opel (good European cars). They ruined Saab. They made Saturn into Opel and then killed it.

They are keeping GMC (all trucks), Chevy (trucks and POS cars), Cadillac (large trucks and high-end), Buick (cars for octiginarians/Chinese). With affordable cars like the Aveo, Cobalt, the Impala - with its full imprimatur of white-trashdom, and the partially redesigned Malibu - almost not-vomit inducing, how could they go wrong?

The only American car I have ever owned was a Pontiac. My dad worked for GM in Flint, MI. GM is dead to me now.

tough one tonight

Well, he is Adam Eaton after all...

Trouble in Da Paradise Dat Works?

SEIU Poll: Daley Approval Rating At 41%

in response to the overwhelming public clamor

Here are the Top 50 LoC labels, up to and including this post. I leave it to others to perform the social sciency analysis...

1. stooooooopid (163)
2. FULLA$#i+ (125)
3. Bushian (119)
4. we are living in a golden age (cont'd) (115)
5. bad ideas (100)
6. SHOCKING (99)
7. totally phokked (95)
8. that's so America (92)
9. whitey keeping darky down (cont) (84)
10. expect delays (81)
11. zzzzzzzzzz........... (77)
12. s#i+ blowing up (70)
13. Cub (that is so) (68)
13. s#i+ for brainz (68)
15. move along - nothing to see here (67)
16. adventures in plutocracy (65)
17. brain-dead GMs (62)
18. brain-dead managers (61)
18. he SUCKS (61)
20. Idiocracy (60)
21. how is k-mad to blame? (56)
21. improbable things (56)
21. weather (whining about) (56)
21. woops (56)
25. America-hating "Americans" hating America (55)
26. offered without comment (54)
27. Dumbya (53)
27. brain-dead Americans (53)
27. moron (53)
30. da hottest blog on da internets (52)
31. YAY (51)
32. rezzziDUNCE (50)
32. they SUCK (50)
34. McCain: unhinged (49)
34. Rod "Perfect Hair" Blagojevich (49)
34. World's Awfulest "Newspaper" (tie) (49)
34. how does k-mad do it (cont'd)? (49)
38. HOLY PHOKKING S#I+ WE'RE SO PHOKKED (48)
39. America: bacon to the world... mmmm bacon... (47)
39. How to Suck at Democracy (47)
41. ASSHOLE (46)
41. Da City Dat Works (46)
41. and the kicker is: we're all dead (46)
44. Dick "Dick" (Dick) Dick Cheney (45)
44. fightin' phils (45)
46. End Times (will they hurry up already?) (42)
46. poll results not scientific (but idiotic) (42)
48. How to Suck at Everything (41)
49. the end times? (40)
50. s#i+ blowing up (soon) (39)

Lucky you guys: Smiff in da house AGAIN!

Dat's right, Smiff will be in Chicago in July for ALA. Probably arriving the 7th or 8th and staying through until like 17th or 18th. I should be staying in the loop in a hotel from the 10th-13th with a couple colleagues. But the rest of the time I AM ALL YOURS. Who wants to get in on this excellent s#i+ blowing up (soon) opportunity and put Smiff up for a few days?
~

It's been a great signing, so far...

Milton Bradley is not in the Cubs' starting lineup on Thursday.
He returned to action on Wednesday night, but went 0-for-4 with three strikeouts, and manager Lou Piniella has now told him he won't start until he's 100 percent. Furthermore, when he does return, he's expected to bat sixth instead of fourth. Micah Hoffpauir, starting in right field on Thursday, will get the majority of playing time until Bradley is ready.

So between "not being 100 percent," suspensions and the weather (blame Skilly!), M-Brad might be looking at 100 games played this year. Still, he is great in the clubhouse.

In related "What is Hendry smoking?" news, Luis Vizcaino (ERA 0.00) and his $3.6 million* salary have been released and Jeff Samardzija has been recalled. I must have missed what Samardzija has done other than walking a lot of guys?

*Make that $4.6 million since Pizza Man gave Colorado $1 million to take the mistake that was Jason Marquis off his hands.

Dontcha wish you just had millions of dollars to piss away hoping something might stick?

Fox News - wid da tarrists

The Colorado River, the Yellow River in northern China, the Ganges in India and the Niger in West Africa are losing water, in some cases because of the effects of climate change*, a new study finds.

* Which doesn't exist, by the way...

Bush team motto?

"a perfect storm of ignorance and enthusiasm."

Lessons in Politics

#47 - Don't admit to fathering a child unless you absolutely have to. Because once you admit to the one, more & more people come forward and before you know it you're on Maury.

Third Paraguay love-child claim

More reasons Trump Tower Sucks

Trump tower Chicago complaint: Bright lights are a big pain

Though my first reaction was "Erm, they're called blinds, or curtains. Anyone that can buy a condo for just under a mil should know that." On da udder hand, if you're gonna buy a condo for just under a mil, I think that earns you the right to bitch to Trump about anything you want to. Just don't put it in the paper. The rest of us couldn't give a ...

Hey! Was the kid supposed to watch!?!

Mom leaves 4-year-old alone in car to have sex at 2 a.m.
Recommend (9) Comments

April 21, 2009

FROM STNG WIRE REPORTS
(SOUTH HOLLAND) A Florida woman is charged with endangering the life of a child for allegedly leaving her 4-year-old son alone in a car so she could have sex in south suburban South Holland.

Leslie Foster, 18, of Jacksonville, Fla., was arrested on the 14700 block of West Riverside Drive in South Holland just before 2 a.m. Monday, according to South Holland police.

Foster allegedly left her 4-year-old son in one car while she went to have sex in another car, police said.

The boy wanted his mother, so he got out of the car and walked down the street knocking on doors until the resident of one home let him in and called 911, police said.

The boy was not harmed.

Foster was able to post bail and is scheduled to appear in court May 29 at the Markham Courthouse.

Question of the Day

So how does everyone feel about potentially losing Texas to secession? Or succession as commenters on CNN felt like they should call it?

Used 4 outta 5 Texas labels on dat one. Hey K-Mad, we haven't done a label count in a while have we?

Best Sport in the world

To all the haters (Smiff) that say that football, not the American type or the Aussie type but the Association type, the type that everyone in the world plays, has a buncha 1-nil ties all the freaking time, I give you this final score:

Liverpool 4, Arsenal 4.

Last week's Champions League game:

Chelsea 4, Liverpool 4.

Well, both results sucked for the Reds. But they had to be fun games to watch. Unlike anything involving Fukudome.

Da Bulls, Debunked.

That Bulls logo might not be what you think it is

When you want to make a zero tolerance omelet, sometimes you have to break a few eggs of excessive intrusion

News item: The case of a 13-year-old Arizona girl strip-searched by school officials looking for ibuprofen pain-reliever will be heard by the U.S. Supreme Court this week.

What the Main Stream Media won't tell you: In the wake of 9/11, school officials had good reason to suspect that it was ibuprofen laced with anthrax.
~

Did I miss something?

How did we get to the point where waterboarding two guys 266 times is good/legal but shaking hands with someone is bad/wrong?

Oh yeah - Brit Hume loves the 24

Then Fox News senior political analyst Brit Hume took it a step further by emphasizing that Obama "needs to aware of what he may have unleashed here," warning of the possibility of "Congressional show trials" and emphasizing:

"What we really need is to have all these techniques at our disposal... they talk about the banging of the guy's head against the wall. It turns out to be very controlled and it's a soft wall that gives way... I'm not at all sure that's torture.

Fantasy Basketball 08-09

Winner - Briggs

Briggs, who, by his own admission doesn't talk enuff smack, takes the title for the second year in a row after years of runner-upping and a kiss your sister tie.  It was "only" a 20 point win this time around - chink in the armor?  He's already predicting a three peat, which I believe would be unprecedented.

Tie for 2nd - Fungster

Long the "guy in the middle", the guy whose teams would be in the top second half of the standings (table if you're English), Fungster's team finally put it together and made it into the money for the first time ever.  The team had a Briggs described "Fungsurgency" with a few days to go into second place, then nearly fell out of second with horrific end of season play.  Nevertheless, Fung is pleased.

5th place  - Smiff

Smiff continues to prove he's a Roto god by improving on his position and point total in a sport that he knows nuthin about.  He will be a little disappointed that he wasn't able to hold on to 2nd place, a position he held for most of the last month or so, until the "Fungsurgency" occurred.  He retains bragging rights over Sarge, although at this point one wonders what that is worth these days.

Tie for 7th place - Corms

A team wracked by injuries, Corms' team got in by far the fewest amount of games in the league. Nevertheless, there's quality there, as he managed a respectable middle of the table finish.  It shows that last years 3rd place was no fluke.

11th (and final) place - Sarge

Oi.  Or is it Oy? It's been a steady decline for Sarge since the glory days of Parcers 2004.  The Center position seemed to give Sarge fits, and a lot of games were missed there.  Just like in baseball, he's stacking up the young'uns, and hopes to make a run soon.  Will he continue to hold on to Matrix?

Not mentioned:  K-Mad (too sexy for Fantasy Basketball), Corporal (if it doesn't involve da Bears, he doesn't want to know), Ranger (he's the best at what he does, he has no time for anything else).

Much better

After drawing my ire for favoring football over hoops and the Bears to the Colts, Miss America has apologized from downtown (Indianapolis):

Miss America, Katie Stam showed off her Hoosier roots prior to the Pacers game last night. While players were going through individual workouts an hour and a half before the tip, Ms. Stam and her sparkling smile showed up courtside in a custom Pacers jersey.

After chatting up assistant coach, Jay DeFruscio, Miss America stepped on the court as if she wanted to try a shot. Bold, I thought.

Then she stepped behind the arc. Yes, Miss America lined up to shoot a regulation NBA three pointer. This has to end badly, right? The woman is tiny, plus the basketball looked more like a medicine ball in contrast to her body.

The first attempt was woefully short, but Miss America's elbow was tucked nicely, wrist cocked with appropriate wrinkles and the follow through was pure. Not bad.

Her second attempt was far better and while it was still a few feet short, this suddenly didn't seem so ridiculous.

After calling for one more shot, Miss America put it all together. The legs, the form, the follow through all in perfect rhythm. The ball floated through the air with a nice, subtle backspin before splashing through the net.

something truly 'shocking'

News headline: Blagojevich pleads 'not guilty'
~

Mushroom of the Year

Strange the things you'll find on the interwebs - Wikipedia. I can't see writing about mushrooms on any more than a yearly basis, so I tried to title the post appropriately.

Phallus indusiatus.

Sounds like a Harry Potter incantation. Might as well be. This mushroom has apparently produced spontaneous orgasms in women. Men apparently find the smell unpleasant. Anyone know where these are sold?

Roster-Depleted Bears Sign Tire Swing For Cutler To Throw To

CHICAGO—Anticipating that new Bears quarterback Jay Cutler will need more targets than converted cornerback Devin Hester and undersized journeyman Rashied Davis—the only receivers on their squad who have ever caught an NFL pass—the Chicago Bears signed a tire swing to their roster Tuesday. "We are expecting great things from this tire swing once the tire and Cutler get some practice time and develop some chemistry," receivers coach Darryl Drake said of the six-year-old Goodyear all-season radial suspended from a tree branch by a 7-foot length of rope. "This could easily be the best quarterback-receiver duo in recent Bears history." Analysts say that, while the move is somewhat unorthodox, Chicago was prudent in passing on veteran free agents Amani Toomer and Joe Jurevicius in favor of offering the tire swing a 3-year, $2.4 million contract.
~

Bailout winners found in SHOCKING location

On Wall Street, of course...

New York Times
ECONOMIC VIEW
Why Creditors Should Suffer, Too
By TYLER COWEN
April 4, 2009

THE Obama administration’s proposals to reform financial regulation sound ambitious enough as they aim to bring companies like A.I.G. under a broader umbrella of government rule-making and scrutiny.

But there is a big hole in these proposals, as there has already been in the government’s approach to bailing out failing financial companies. Even as they focus on firms deemed too big to fail, the new proposals immunize the creditors and counterparties of such firms by protecting them from their own lending and trading mistakes.

This pattern has been evident for months, with the government aiding creditors and counterparties every step of the way. Yet this has not been explained openly to the American public.

In truth, it’s not the shareholders of the American International Group who benefited most from its bailout; they were mostly wiped out. The great beneficiaries have been the creditors and counterparties at the other end of A.I.G.’s derivatives deals — firms like Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, Deutsche Bank, Société Générale, Barclays and UBS.

These firms engaged in deals that A.I.G. could not make good on. The bailout, and the regulatory regime outlined by Timothy F. Geithner, the Treasury secretary, would give firms like these every incentive to make similar deals down the road.

I vote for dead people

Apparenly Missouri likes their politicians, well, underground, as it were. Stiff? Not breathing?

Dead mayor re-elected by US town

Though in the first case, the other alternative was Ashcroft. So perhaps this says way more about the other guy...

Hadn't seen the post below. Clearly this is annudder case of zombies out & about. You have been warned.

Zombies are everywhere!

I read it in the USA TODAY today.

Zombies are everywhere. (See? Ed.)

There are books galore, movies in the works, perhaps a Broadway play. There's even a zombie march in Cambridge, Mass., at noon this Sunday...

Seth Grahame-Smith, author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies written with Jane Austen (Quirk Books, $12.95), a book best described as Mr. Darcy meets Dawn of the Dead, says zombies connect because they're lovable menaces, funny, and easy metaphors.

"They've always been used to skewer the ills of society," he says. "It's not surprising they're making a comeback in these intense times."

They're not just for grown-ups.

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan (Delacorte Press for Young Readers, $16.95) is a tale of teen angst in a post-apocalyptic world. There's also Zombie Queen of Newbury High by Amanda Ashby and You Are So Undead to Me by Stacey Jay, both in stores, and Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow, on sale May 14.

people are soooo sensitive

Walgreens pulls Obama Chia Pet after complaints

Walgreens has pulled a Barack Obama version of the Chia Pet from its stores, and the decision leaves about 200,000 of the pottery plant kits in a West Side Chicago warehouse.

The Deerfield-headquartered drugstore chain made the move Friday after getting a few complaints about the item since the product's April 1 launch, a spokeswoman said...

The $19.99 Chia Obama, which sprouts foliage in the space where hair would be, is still available at chiaobama.com... YAY!

2 Schools of Thought

Transcribed roughly from memory, with embellishments to make the speakers seem more brilliant (than they already are).

Corporal: I am excited about Cutler. All they need now is to grab Harrison or Holt or Boldin (now that T.O. is in Buffalo) and they can have an incredible offense with their backfield and their tight ends.

Ranger: Do you think they are going to do that?

Corporal: I read that Pace signed with them 30 minutes after hearing Cutler signed. It is going to be a chance for him to go out with a good team, and possibly some playoff games. I think that the wide receivers may have the same line of thought.

Ranger: That makes some sense, but I'm concerned...

Corporal: All they need is a good wideout opposite Hester and someone is going to get single coverage. Cutler can carve them up then.

Ranger: Isn't it more likely that Angelo says "by signing Cutler we have already immeasurably upgraded our offense ... he will make our receivers better ... we didn't see any reason to go out now in an effort to upgrade an already upgraded receiving corps(e)."

Corporal: [silent indignation].

Fung is NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Fung would not normally put up a Scumchester highlight. But this was phokking awesome. As in it filled me with awe. And rage at the same time. If Scumchester win da Premier League on dat goal, well, Fung may as well start rooting for da cubbies too, for they, like Liverpool, will be waiting for quite a while for their next championship...

Bill Simmons, on Nellie and a Serf

There hasn't been nearly enough made of how screwed up the Warriors are right now. Their front office and ownership situation is a world-class mess. Their coach has been in "I'm Keith Hernandez" Mode since the 2007 Dallas upset and looks like he's actively trying to get fired. They have two young players everyone loves -- Randolph and Monta Ellis -- only they've been antagonized to the degree that it might affect them long-term. In Randolph's case, how can a lottery team not play a talent like Randolph 35 minutes a game? What the hell is going on here??? For some reason, the only media member who seems to care is Tim Kawakami. I don't get it. If I were a Warriors fan, I would be organizing protests outside the arena complaining about Randolph's playing time. It's insane. Imagine if Chicago was 16-50 and played Derrick Rose 10 minutes a game. Would you think that was weird? You would, right? Welcome to Anthony Randolph's world.

Is it still April Fools?

The Broncos have agreed in principle to trade Jay Cutler to the Bears for Kyle Orton, first-round picks in 2009 and 2010, and a 2009-third round pick. The Bears will receive Denver's fifth-round pick this year. Bears fans like GM Jerry Angelo now. There were late reports the Redskins were near a deal, but the Bears swooped in. The compensation is quite fair for Denver considering the circumstances, but it's still an amazing coup for Chicago. You just don't often get a top-five quarterback entering his prime, and that's what Cutler is. They have their first "franchise quarterback" since Sid Luckman in the 1940s, and all their offensive talent gets upgraded now. With that said, Cutler's fantasy value takes a huge hit going from a high-powered offense with talented young receivers to a conservative attack lacking in playmakers.
~

He was never a K-Madder, I swear

Prospectus on Mark Pawalek

[T]he Cubs appeared to have quite a find in Pawelek, when the left-hander that some saw as the top high school pitcher in the draft fell to 20th overall due to bonus concerns, and quickly signed for a slightly over-slot bonus of $1.75 million. Seen as a highly polished product who might move quickly, instead conditioning issues, effort issues, and the occasional ridiculous injury (he broke his non-throwing arm two years ago by tripping over his PlayStation) led to just four innings in a full-season league, and just 149 1/3 IP overall in his four professional seasons. Harvey and Pawelek were supposed to be the team's starting right fielder and a fixture in the rotation by now, but instead they're just footnotes in a long thesis proving that the draft is an inexact science.

Almost didn't post this since Fung is being such a sourpuss

Smiff on da Newsmeat

Be sure to check out my FEC filing!

~

Da Coldest Blog on da Internets?

What's happened to us? Look at those paltry weekly numbers for the year. Pathetic. Black man got elected pRezzidunce and we got nuttin to say? Country's going socialist & we got nuttin? We've gone soft. And I blame Smiff.

Silver sells out, moves to the Big Apple (isn't this the Decker career path?)

FiveThirtyEight Joins East Coast Media Elite

~

Do they do bridge repair?

News item: KFC filling potholes in marketing effort

(Crain’s) — Don't be surprised if you see Col. Sanders out filling potholes. In an unusual cause-marketing push, KFC is tackling the pothole problem in Louisville, Ky. in exchange for stamping the fresh pavement with "Re-freshed by KFC," a chalky stencil likely to fade away in the next downpour...

Chicago has been in talks with a company about long-term sponsorship of pothole repair. [Chicago Department of Transportation spokesman Brian] Steele would not name that company.

There are probably some humorous possibilities.

Tuck this one away

American Association
Grand Prairie AirHogs - Signed OF Aaron Garza
~
"The name "AirHogs" is a slang term used by U.S. military pilots, and refers to the city's aviation industry."
-- The Wikipedia
~

On da udder hand, "No Title Nellie" is BRAIN-DEAD, so who knows?

Anthony Randolph started in his hometown on Wednesday (Dallas), finishing with 10 points, six rebounds and two steals, but Don Nelson wasn't thrilled with him after the game.
"Because he came home, I wanted to start him," Nelson said. "I was pretty disappointed when he reverted back to the way he wants to play, which is the way that we had him in training camp — coming down wild and shooting every time. I bent over backwards to make sure he played a lot tonight so he could play in front of his family, and that was a bit of a disappointment." Knowing Nelson, his anger with the young big man could result in another start over Brandan Wright in his next game.
~

This post is making me hungry... I could really go for a slice of Molto's pizza right now...

Idaho teacher sells advertising space on tests

POCATELLO, Idaho -- Good morning, class, and welcome to U.S. history, brought to you by Molto Caldo Pizzeria.

In a cash-strapped Idaho high school where signs taped near every light switch remind the staff to save electricity, an enterprising teacher has struck a sponsorship deal with a local pizza shop: Every test, handout and worksheet he passes out to his students reads MOLTO'S PIZZA 14" 1 TOPPING JUST $5 in bright red, inch-high letters printed along the bottom of every page.

He might want to check the morgue

MESA, Ariz. -- Cubs reliever Chad Gaudin is trying to find himself this spring, an odyssey which began when he was selected by the Andersonville Horror in the 24th round of this year's FISK draft.

He's got da BAEKs -- Bury Annudder Execrable K-Madder.

They warned us!

AIG employee quits at 'betrayal'

The mass exodus of those who would "save" "AIG" has begun. They won't get their bonuses, so they're outta dere. Taking with them their expertise in er, um, ah, I'll get back to you on that one.

To Cheer Us Up!

Somebody's going to get rich! Was here and found this little gem of happiness about the bank plan.

Bronte Capital


Why the Countrywide guys should be allowed to get mega-rich

Posted: 24 Mar 2009 04:23 PM PDT
Pimco is a bond management firm which has come through this crisis almost unscathed. The monthly letters from Pimco are amongst the few must-reads of Wall Street. I have no reason to believe that Pimco has ever acted with anything but integrity.

A few days ago I posted about cumulative loss data at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I pointed out that Fannie's credit on qualifying mortgages was consistently worse than Freddie's and asked for comments. One comment suggested – and I have since confirmed – that the main difference was that Countrywide largely originated for Fannie – and was Fannie's largest source of loans.

Given that they used the same sort of computer data as everyone else it is likely that they were at best aggressive in how they confirmed mortgagee income and employment. Its a culture thing.

And given that the losses at Fannie and Freddie now appear to belong to the US Government these guys were not nice to taxpayers.

The guys from Countrywide have started a new firm – Penny Mac – which will deal in scratch-and-dint mortgages. They clearly have some experience in the area. The New York times wrote a story which was – at least editorially – a little sickened by how guys that manage to cause the crisis are now profiting from it. The tone rings politically true.

The terms for the Geithner funds were written so that Pimco could (almost certainly) run one of the funds. Indeed the terms appear to be written in a way as to maximise conflicts of interest. This is a problem – because say $10 billion that Pimco puts up will give Pimco power to buy maybe $200 billion in bonds.

Pimco owns a lot of debt of large banks. If they were to use that $200 billion for say $80 billion of overpayment as suggested by Steve Waldman then they could make good their huge holdings of bank debt. They are conflicted. The conflict is large.

By contrast if the Countrywide guys are to put in the bulk of their personal fortunes they are not conflicted. (It would be almost everything they had – and they have no other remaining interests.)

The treasury should refuse Pimco's application and accept Penny Mac's if Penny Mac makes a decent submission.

Its an outcome that politically stinks. It will deliver a fortune to the Countrywide guys. It will sure play badly in the New York times.

But agency problems are at the core of how we got into this crisis – whether it be mortgage brokers with an incentive to say one thing and do another or whether it is traders who got paid huge bonuses when they lied about their mark-to-market profits or rating agencies who were paid by issuers of dodgy debt..

The Treasury should be writing the criteria to minimise agency problems – and instead they have written them to maximise agency problems.

This is not good.

Maybe Fung could translate this?

Man of Kent is a delicious stop up Rte 7 in upstate New York on the way to Vermont. Adam reminded me of it today - and I decided to visit it on the web and found this:

Man of Kent Cricket Club Enjoy a Friendly Win

Match report by Nigel Johnson

Scorecard

Hoosick NY, August 13th 2006.

Well, it could have been the biggest banana skin ever, but in fact turned into one of our best performances and that takes into account a feisty and youthful opponent who thought they could win. It was the best day for Summer cricket and the wicket looked great, even with the minor problems of the pitch markings (!) Steve showed up with 10 High Schoolers from the electric city, and more than a few of them had serious cricket genes, and it was great to see Alton again, and there is for sure no better ambassador of cricket to mentor this new team, lead by Matthew Persaud, son of Maurice Persaud - need I say more. Evidently these kids had been practicing every Tuesday for some time now, and probably with the senior squad on Friday's, and I am sure that after our failure against the Mad Dogs, Steve thought we were ripe for the taking - well the best laid plans of Weisse and men, we proved 'em wrong. And did we!!

It did not start well, when this Captain lost the toss, and was pleasantly surprised when we were asked to bat first. I always go on the principal that it is far better to have the runs on the board, than to chase down runs on a worn wicket. Kumar and I opened the innings and rode our luck a little, having to deal with some short "bodyline" bowling, and accurate medium pace from their Captain. Still we were able to stick around long enough to take the sting out of the bowling attack before I succumbed to a mistimed shot and was caught out of their Captains bowling, still we had close to 40 runs on the board and a significant improvement on our previous effort. I can't recall the batting order but it seemed that everyone was more or less able to put runs on the board, and especially Kumar, Balki, Kirk, Mick and top scorer Eric who plundered some "sit up and beg" bowling in the middle overs. 100 runs appeared and went, along with 150, and we batted out our allotted 30 overs with great aplomb, garnering a total of 190 some for 9. Good efforts also from Allen with his ever present runner Balki, and Joe, who will want to forget his nightmare dismissal, I'm sure.

After our mid innings break we went out confident of a defensible total, especially with our bowling line up. Kumar and Neel opened the bowling and runs from the opposition were slow, apart from punishing the occasional loose ball. Balki, Kirk, Tim, and Eric followed and pretty much finished them off, and we certainly were able to take every chance that came on offer. Great catches taken, return throws, a neat stumping, and some stump splitting bowling ripped out wickets at regular intervals and in the end it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened. I must say that from my vantage point behind the wicket I thought that Steve was a little too eager for success, especially with his umpiring calls (!) But it was a credit that everyone stuck to their task with victory in sight. Well done indeed to the team. Moving on now, I don't know who is available for practice tonight but a show of hands would help decide. I have a knee strain and will not be able to participate tonight, and have work commitments for this Sunday and possibly next Thursday (!) So please speak up if you want to practice and so something can be coordinated. In terms of games we are pretty much done at the school now, but it would be worth planning an away game or two in September if there was some interest. So shabbash to all for a great team effort on Sunday - a great way to close out the year, short as it is at Hoosac.

What does this mean Fung?

BREAKING:

Paul Harvey is Still Dead.

Thank God.

~

Howie Long: Asshole

The excruciating and mildly amusing commercials of the tourney

3. Howie Long. Do you want me to hate Howie Long, Chevrolet? Because I do. I couldn't hate him more if he spent all day yesterday sitting next to me and jabbing me in the thigh with a pitchfork every time I blinked. And when I think about how much more Howie Long I'm going to be seeing over the next few weeks, it makes me hate Howie Long even more.
Tell me, Howie, what's so unmasculine about a having a step to get in the back of your truck? Are all truck owners expected to have a 40-inch vertical leap? There's literally no other scenario on the planet where a person would be expected to navigate a climb of that height without the use of a step. But this poor guy is the object of Howie Long's derision because he wants a step to get into the bed of his truck?
What's your deal, Howie Long? What do you have against the use of basic technology to help a person do something they might not otherwise be able to easily do? Man-step. What do you want to the guy to do, pole vault into the back of the truck? Do you stand outside of public buildings all day, Howie, waiting for someone who uses a wheelchair to use an entrance ramp, and then say, "Hey buddy, way to use your little man-ramp"? Jerk.

And am i the only one to notice his pedophile ad? The one with the annoying little girl, a close-up of his crotch and her pointing at it, before they get into the back seat of a truck together? That's the ad. Really.

I am never buying a fucking Chevy. Fuck them and FUCK Howie Long. ASSHOLE.
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Smiff: The Statue

I'm guessing neither one was a Rhodes Scholar

Cops: Ohio man shot self after running over friend
The Associated Press 5:03 a.m. March 23, 2009
SAGAMORE HILLS, Ohio — Police say an Ohio man fatally shot himself in the head moments after realizing he had run over a friend in a bar parking lot.
Summit County Sheriff's Sgt. Scott Cottle says witnesses saw Erich Schultz and Stacy DiJulius arguing in the parking lot after both had been drinking at a bar in Sagamore Hills, about 20 miles south of Cleveland.
Cottle says 38-year-old Schultz tried to drive away in his Jeep, but DiJulius tried to enter the vehicle as it moved and fell under one of the tires. Cottle says it appears Schultz accidentally ran over DiJulius and he felt so bad about it that he took out a gun and shot himself.
The 39-year-old DiJulius died at a hospital after Saturday night's accident. Schultz died on Sunday.
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Obama, Ozzie Agree: Go Full Retard

Ozzie Guillen’s muses include advising Obama

GLENDALE, Ariz. – President Barack Obama’s apology for his Special Olympics crack to Jay Leno while lampooning his bowling skills may not be enough to satisfy Gov. Sarah Palin, who ripped Obama for a “degrading remark.” But the president might be heartened to hear that a fellow Chicago South Sider, one who knows something about political incorrectness, has his back.

“I thought it was funny,” said Ozzie Guillen, the never-lost-for-something-to-say manager of the Chicago White Sox. “People take it out of context. The [expletive*] people in this country think you have to worry about what you’re saying, what you’re thinking. … I love when I see Obama’s picture in the paper with a beer in his hands. It’s awesome. He’s a human being. He’s a guy who enjoys life.”...

[fucking?--ed.]
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Question submitted

6 y.o.: Hercules is strong.

me: yeah.

6 y.o.: Is anyone stronger than Hercules?

me: well his father is Zeus, and Zeus is stronger.

6 y.o.: who is the strongest god?

me: hard to say.

6 y.o.: who do most people say is strongest?

me: most people don't talk about stong gods anymore. People around here mostly worship the god of the bible and his son Jesus.

6 y.o: do you think Jesus could kill god?

I think Rush tried to warn us about this specifically

News item: WASHINGTON — On Friday, Michelle Obama will begin digging up a patch of White House lawn to plant a vegetable garden, the first since Eleanor Roosevelt’s victory garden in World War II. There will be no beets (the president doesn’t like them) but arugula will make the cut.

Only in America

Priceless

Hooray "New" Capitalism.

Takin' ovah

Even Manny's on board

Breaking News

I'm sure you will all be shocked by the next string of words, wondering to yourself, "How could this possibly be true?"

France set for nationwide strike

You know it's coming next: sports bar on the field

If it wasn't packed enough around the stadium already...

New sports bar at Wrigley

The bar is going to be raised for taverns in Wrigleyville when a new restaurant run by Harry Caray's will be opened to the public at the start of the season.
There will be plenty of monitors in the sports bar, but you won't be able to see the field.
It will be located along the Addison-Sheffield area where the Caray statue is located.
The restaurant will be open year-round and seat 490 patrons.
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Where in the world is this facility?

Receptionists with no medical training were left to to assess patients arriving at the hospital's accident and emergency department, the report found.

Julie Bailey, whose 86-year-old mother Bella died in the hospital in November 2007, said she and other family members slept in a chair at her bedside for eight weeks because they were so concerned about poor care.

"What we saw in those eight weeks will haunt us for the rest of our lives," said the 47-year-old. "We saw patients drinking out of flower vases they were so thirsty.

"There were patients wandering around the hospital and patients fighting. It was continuous through the night. Patients were screaming out in pain because you just could not get pain relief."

a vision of heaven, from an actual saint

"I would like a great lake of beer for the King of Kings; I would like the people of heaven to be drinking it through time eternal."
-- St. Brigid of Ireland

why you foul when you're up 3 with :05 left

NIT 1st Round
George Mason (22-11) 73
at Penn State (23-11) 77
Final - Overtime

Stephen F. Who?

Yep, He's a Blue Ward Cyclone! He is also a Crab Queen!

Just in case you were wonderin' how Stephen Strasburg's been doing lately (is he the next Mark Prior? Is he the next Tom Seaver? Is he the next what was that A's pitching prospect from around 1990? - or is he just the best goddamn pitcher ever?):

THE STRASBURG WATCH

Keeping track of SDSU All-America pitcher Stephen Strasburg this season:

Yesterday: Vs. UNLV at Tony Gwynn Stadium

His line: 7 innings, 6 hits, 2 runs, 2 earned runs, 1 walk, 14 strikeouts.

Result: Aztecs win 4-3

For the season: 4-0 record, 1.97 ERA, 27 1/3 innings, 19 hits, 7 runs, 6 earned runs, 5 walks, 59 strikeouts

Next start: Thursday, March 19, at Tony Gwynn Stadium, vs. BYU at 6 p.m.

our creed

We should have had our own contest

News item: Chicago 2016 picks new Olympics bid motto

Yeah, but have these smarty-pants talked to John Coleman?

Sea Level Rise Hard To Fathom Ice Sheet Melt Changes Earlier

Researchers say sea level rise could be even higher than official estimates two years ago. A UC-San Diego scientist says the previous estimates did not anticipate the pace of ice melt. KPBS Environemnt Reporter Ed Joyce has more. In 2007 the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change forecast a rise in seal level of about two feet by 2100. But scientists at a climate change meeting in Denmark this week presented evidence that Greenland and Antarctica are losing ice faster than previously expected. Predictions now say sea level could rise four feet or more by the end of the century. Scripps Institution of Oceanography climate researcher Dan Cayan says the earlier prediction was conservative. "Of course there's huge stockpiles of fresh water in Antarctica and Greenland, Cayan says. " We don't truly understand how the oceans are going to respond to climate warming and ice sheet melting." Cayan says there's a lot of uncertainty in estimating how much sea level will rise.

Even more bullcrap:
Related Stories
New Climate Change Report For San Diego
Climate Change Could Whack State's Economy
Climate Change Risks For California
Is San Diego Ready For Rising Sea Levels
State Needs Strategic Plan For Climate Change
Termite Killer Contributes To Global Warming
Dry Times in the Golden State
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How soon before the Colonel wishes he was back at the bottom of the river?

Can Japanese Colonel Sanders Statue End The Cubs' Curse?

Let's think about that a minute... NO.

Hello N.I.T.

Minnesota 66, Northwestern 53

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I don't phink so

Sears Tower will become Willis Tower.

The insurance broker announced Thursday morning that it will move to the Sears Tower and that the building will be renamed Willis Tower.

Nice try though. They'd have better luck renaming the Chicago hot-dog as "Willis Weiners."

Cubs & Sox United: Their Fans Can SUCK IT

Sox, Cubs not cutting prices
Local teams won't join others in lowering concession costs
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You Guys Are Great

Famous Mayors to Discuss How to Keep Cities Great

Chicago Mayor Richard Daley and former Mayor of Bogotá Enrique Peñalosa will lead a discussion on “The Upside of Down: How to Keep Our Cities Great” at 7:30 am March 20 at the Forum Auditorium on the Scripps Institution of Oceanography campus of the University of California, San Diego....

7freaking30 - in the morning?! Unlikely Smiff will be there...
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It's not enough to ban bestiality - we must ban inter-species marriage as well

The act of bestiality is a step closer to becoming illegal in Florida now that a Senate committee voted to slap a third-degree felony charge on anyone who has sex with animals.

Florida is one of only 16 states that still permit bestiality -– a fact that animal-rights activist and Sunrise Sen. Nan Rich learned to her horror when a Panhandle man three years ago was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family goat with which he was copulating.
. . .

Rich's proposal was amended to target only those who derived or helped others derive "sexual gratification" from an animal. The amendment specified that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices are permissible.

That last provision tripped up Miami Democratic Sen. Larcenia Bullard.

"People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?" she asked. Some senators stifled their laughter as Chairman Charlie Dean explained that husbandry was the rearing and caring of animals.

Bullard didn't get it.

"So that maybe have been the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?" Bullard asked, referring to a Connecticut case where a woman’s suburban chimpanzee want mad and was shot...

Cricket - it rocks

The English just got done with a test match series on those islands to the south of us that we sometimes go to during spring break to smoke some ganja. 4 test matches, that's 20 days of exciting cricket action. Well, more like 19, because the 1st test ended on the fourth day. And what was the score after 4 matches & 19 days of thrilling cricket?

West Indies 1, England 0.

Polar Bear Special for K-Mad

Still Think Polar Bears Are Cute?

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capturing da pulse of da city (cont'd)

Today's most viewed stories:

Washington Post: Obama Aims to Shield Science From Politics
Chicago Tribune: Found: The source of ... belly-button lint

You think you're having a shitty day? NOPE.

Man Rescued from Latrine
An unidentified man was rescued from a waste tank under a rest stop bathroom on Highway 30 near Filer, Idaho on Thursday. He had climbed into the tank to look for his keys. Another driver found him and called emergency services. Police, firefighters, paramedics, and other emergency response personnel responded, and found the man up to his neck in sewage. They summoned highway maintenance department workers, who retrieved the man by opening an access port used to remove waste. Pictured is Filer Police Chief Cliff Johnson, who told the story to local news.
“It took some lifting to get him out, and he had cut himself pretty good trying to get himself out,” Johnson said.
The man was allowed to wash off with the fire truck hose at the scene, where he made another painful discovery.
“That’s when he discovered the keys were still in his back pocket,” Johnson said.

Pot calling kettle black (cont)

There was a commercial, on the TV. Had these two kids playing with toys. One was playing delays on the tarmac at the airport, the other gridlock on the highway. That part was actually funny. A third kid playing with his train set had no such problems. So switch to Amtrak. They never have delays.

Smiff, Ripening

Well, that happens every day, but we only count it on one day of the year.

Any advice for us tricenarian whippersnappers?

How does Illinois do it?

Illinois plutocrats are frakkin’ goofy

The government of Illinois, an an obvious attempt to distract America from Blagojevich’s hair, has declared that Pluto is a planet.

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eventually, at some point in the next, oh, five and a half years, they're going to have to pick one of these guys and let him run for re-election

Franken Has Good Day, Potentially Netting Over 30 Votes

Even Republicans are saying, "He's #UCK!NG N@TS!"

Republicans Look for a Reliever in Kentucky

WASHINGTON — One of the entrenched narratives in American politics is the case of the guy who refuses to quit, even though a lot of people on his own team want him gone.

While the Democrats are preoccupied with Senator Roland W. Burris and his ties to a tainted Illinois governor, the Republicans are trying to rid themselves of Senator Jim Bunning of Kentucky, the former baseball star who clearly has little use for some colleagues and party leaders, and who keeps exhibiting what one senator calls “behavior issues.”

Key Republicans are gently (or not gently enough) trying to dissuade Mr. Bunning from seeking re-election in 2010 out of concern that his paltry fund-raising, declining approval ratings and irascible conduct have made him something between vulnerable and unelectable.

But in recent weeks, Mr. Bunning has shown no sign of stepping aside and delivered a string of incendiary pronouncements that have fed an impression that he is, to go with a baseball metaphor, a bit of a screwball."....

He's right about one thing:

“I don’t believe anything John Cornyn says,” Mr. Bunning fired back.

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News item: D.C. bus driver punches out McGruff

WASHINGTON — A bus driver thought it would be funny to take the bite out of McGruff the crime dog by punching the mascot, but police said children who witnessed the stunt were horrified.

Will Alzheimer's sufferer "No Title" Nellie remember where the Warriors are playing tonight? Or if they are playing at all??

Corey Maggette was a surprise play off the Warriors' bench on Tuesday after Don Nelson changed his mind just before game time and decided to play him. Maggette had 16 points and seven rebounds, but also committed six turnovers and didn't have an assist tonight. If he was in your lineup, you have to be pleased that Nellie had a change of heart, and early word out of Oakland is that Maggette should play again on Wednesday.

Or not. Who the phokk knows with this phokking idiot of a coach. Operation shutdown, not playing a veteran every game. Shouldn't the NBA put a stop to this? Used to be they would scorn on tanking with 2 weeks of the season left. How about 2 months? And how bad must Minnesota be to get blowd out by Golden State?

Chicago catches the ice hockey fever (or maybe it's the bird flu)

Whose jersey do you see most around the city of Chicago?
: Patrick Kane
: Jonathan Toews
: Patrick Sharp
: Brian Campbell
: Player from the past
: What in the name of sweet Jesus are you talking about?

Pole Tax (geddit? huh huh)

Should Illinois have a porn tax?

Cash-strapped states have begun considering taxing more vices. Is it a good idea? Vote

I object

I eat my hot dogs how I want them - with Ketchup and nuttin else. No relish. No onions. No tomatoes. No peppers. None of that udder gunk. Just meat, bun, ketchup. Simple. Yummy. Wanna put lotsa gunk on something? Eat a burger. Leave my hot dog alone.

Fripp Obama

Cheerful News for the Day or "How do you feel El Paso?"

Becoming more and more interested by what's going on in Mexico, specifically Juarez. Should we change our drug laws to help Mexico not fall completely apart?

Just think, a lot of the problems actually do stem from simple marijuana...odd.

Fun times hard to find in Mexico

ways the government might run the banks worse than the banks did

Tyler Cowen offers a few in the process of writing his New York Times column for today.

Bulls crappy play driving President to drink bad beer

Chix report to spring training

How much do you want to go?

Ryanair mulls charge for toilets

'Sconsin Dreamin'

According to Fox News Chicago on da TV - top 5 places to find a job:

#5: Milwaukee

#1: Madison

So you too can be a part of the problem of bacteria on Chicago's beaches.

Typical Political Bull$#!+

Conn. pols want UConn's Calhoun reprimanded

Urban legend grows

Motorist draws gunfire after flipping the finger

Iraq War Milestone

Check out our cost ticker over deres...---->

more stuff only a commie could love

It's a pretty short trip from collective transportation to collective farming.

Chicago's high-speed rail dream is arriving

Besides, I find our 19th-century rail infrastructure quaint.

I'll take two cups (get it? ha, ha...)

Topless coffee shop opens in central Maine

VASSALBORO, Maine—A topless coffee shop that raised the ire of many residents of a small central Maine town is open for business.
The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop, located at the site of the former Grand View Motel, opened its doors Monday on busy Route 3 in Vassalboro. A sign outside says, "Over 18 only." Another says, "No cameras, no touching, cash only."
On Tuesday, two men sipped coffee at a booth while three topless waitresses and a bare-chested waiter stood nearby. Topless waitress Susie Wiley said men, women and couples have stopped by.
Dozens of residents objected to the shop when the Vassalboro planning board meeting took up the matter last month. But town officials said the coffee shop met the letter of the law.
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And his father said unto him...BLAM!

Police: Man stabs son for wearing hat in church

BALTIMORE (AP) -- Police said a 58-year-old man stabbed his teenage son after he refused to take off his hat at church earlier in the day. The father and his 19-year-old son got into an argument on Sunday afternoon. That's when police said the father went to a car, got a knife and stabbed his son in the left buttock and fled.
The son was taken to University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment. The father's name was withheld pending his arrest.
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Timetable: How about "this century"?

Mark Prior indicated that he isn't working with any timetables as he attempts to make his way back from June shoulder surgery.
He did say he feels further along now than he did at this point last year. Prior thought he was close to making it back to the majors in June, when he had a major setback with his shoulder. "I'm 28 and no one knows what the future holds," Prior said. "If I can get back to 80 percent or 90 percent of what I used to be, then that's still pretty good. I look back to those three, four years in the big leagues and I pitched pretty well and did the things I had to do to help us win games. I don't know if those memories haunt me, but they motivate me."
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Uh...whaaaaa...Briggsy?

George Mason Students Encouraged By Speech

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Oh yea, Jim Calhoun, Fung's new white friend, ain't to great with the facts heself

http://www.the40yearplan.com/

So according to the U.S. Department of Education, Calhoun's $12 million isn't really $12 million. Letter writer Michael Chapman tipped me off to the DOE's numbers: UConn men's basketball spends $6,097,728 to take in $7,333,214.
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