K-Mad, Smiff: we're here to help

7:19 PM Kevin: awful
7:22 PM me: what now? Phillies one-hit by TIM REDDING et al? or... Pedro out 4-6 weeks, which means 8-10 weeks?
7:24 PM Kevin: tim redding? awful
7:33 PM me: AWFULLLLL
7:37 PM me: Gomes benched (again) for...Nathan Haynes
Kevin: who?
me: Joe Maddon should be shot
i dunno, but draft him and his career over ASAP
7:38 PM Kevin: newest cherry
7:39 PM me: this just in: Larry Bowa BLEW UP and was suspended for 3 games
Kevin: rip them motherfuckers?
me: yeah
7:40 PM Al Reyes: LIT UP tonight
Kevin: in a good way?
me: no
Kevin: phokk
7:42 PM me: the INSANE Kevin O'Neill OUT in Arizona
7:43 PM Kevin: @#$&^% #@(*&&$ #&^#$*#@ #&#%*#@ 4&#!
7:43 PM Kevin: $^*#$!
me: yes#
Cubs lost again
also: White Sox
7:45 PM Smiff shocked:
Storm? What storm?
A woman bikes along Mission Bay, where bright blue skies rule the day. The storm that National Weather Service forecasters expected to arrive Wednesday afternoon has slowed and weakened and may not hit the county until after 10 p.m.“I don't think it has much chance of holding together,” forecaster Steve Vanderburg says. “There's a good chance it won't do a lot for us.”
Steve Vanderburg: FULL@SHIT
7:46 PM Kevin: he will be hailed as a liberator
me: on da udder hand, it's ridicurously chilly round here: 56 right now
7:49 PM Kevin: man that's rough... do you have an electric binky?
me: yes.
but first, i may have to put on pants
Kevin: i would set it on "thermonuclear"
7:50 PM me: noted
Kevin: and mittens
me: don't have any of dem
socks?
Kevin: go outside and kill someone for their mittens... it's every man for himself in situations like this
7:51 PM me: i would, if i could stand up
the Ernie Banks statue has a typo? dat's so Cub
7:52 PM Kevin: really? i didn't hear about that. ridikkerus
they just figgered this out?
7:53 PM me: left the apostophe out of Let's Play Two
Kevin: datz phokkin retardid
7:54 PM me: Yes.
7:54 PM me: watching Obama on The Insane Chris Mathews Show
Kevin: whats da deal wid dis phokkin twitter phing
?
7:55 PM me: whadya mean what's the phokking deal?
HARDBALL!
Kevin: http://twitter.com/kmaddest
7:56 PM how can i set dis up on my cell... ditn work for me
yeah i heard about dat
me: i don't have a cell, ask Rebecca
Kevin: duff
7:57 PM me: i let her know...she'll be very excited!
Kevin: that is so sad
7:58 PM me: Yes.
7:59 PM Kevin: i'll try to make it less negative from now on
me: really? can you?
Kevin: no
8:00 PM that marines commercial is phokking awful though'
obama da rock star
8:01 PM west chester -- rams?
me: haven't seen it
oh, dere in West Chester? just west of where i was born...in Chester
8:02 PM Kevin: west of there?
of chester?
me: yeah, dats why dey call it West Chester...duh
Kevin: philly sport magazine endorsed him
8:03 PM me: HYOOOGE
Kevin: i phink dat settles dat
me: Ollie Perez: DOMINATING tonight
Kevin: my hands are tied
8:04 PM all my drafts are over
8:04 PM me: trade? trade for him?
Kevin: dat might work
so it's west of chester? west chester?
8:05 PM me: no-IDIOT- West Chester is west of Chester
den we moved to Rochester
later, i lived in Chichester
Kevin: ro chester?
8:06 PM me: yes, ro of chester
Kevin: k
bluestem - last place
raise your hand if you're shocked
yooooooge night tonight though
8:07 PM me: \\|//
Phants in 1st? equally shocking
Kevin: the whole world has gone upside dowsn
down
8:08 PM me: speaking of Phants: Y Escobar (1, 8th inning off E Meek 2 on, 2 Out).
8:09 PM GUONE
8:09 PM Kevin: bluestem slugging 765 tonight
like i said............
yoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooge
8:10 PM me: could move up to 11th
Kevin: maybe!
me: Jair Jurrjens: why don't you have him?
Kevin: i know
it almost happened
8:11 PM me: FAIL
Kevin: datz a little harsh
8:12 PM obama prattlling on about green energy
do i look like an elf?
me: a tall elf, maybe
8:13 PM Top 2nd: Houston
- G. Blum homered to deep right
- T. Wigginton homered to deep left
8:14 PM me: Monk:
Bot 2nd: San Diego
- S. Hairston homered to deep left center
8:15 PM shteal
8:16 PM Ludwick: Triple
8:17 PM zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
8:18 PM Kevin: wi@@y!
8:19 PM he's a bluestem
ludwick: horror
callix crabbe: smelt
5 minutes
8:25 PM Kevin: i'm outta wine so i phink its bedtime
8:26 PM me: i got a cheap pinot here, if dat helps
8:27 PM Kevin: uhh no
i got whisky dough
me: what's da prollem den?
8:28 PM Kevin: i can't remember
8:30 PM me: i gots wine, beer, scotch, a cheap canadian whiskey, port (from kollyforniyah), gin, vermouth, bitters
and absinthe
8:32 PM Kevin: submitted for your tendention:
http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/food/873052,FOO-News-wine02.article
8:33 PM i phink da plutos just got one step closer to da windowledge
me: anudder reason to drink Kollyforniyuh wine
8:34 PM phokk does frenchy phokks
Kevin: yeah dats true... but i need da aussies
8:35 PM me: Kollyfoneeyuhh makes sum pretty good shirazez
Kevin: dat would be good news
8:36 PM west chester is in phact da rams
me: lots of rams in SE PA
Kevin: yeah dat is dere natural habitat an shit
me: dis Obama guy makes a lot of sense...too bad he's a darky
8:37 PM Kevin: yeah i don't phink america is ready for a president who knows what da phokk is going on
8:39 PM me: dats sum phunny stuff on Lattice ya phokker
8:40 PM Kevin: tough one tonight!
me: Obama gets the WYOMING GOVERNOR'S endorsement
phokk U
Kevin: you can't stop tim redding, you can only hope to contain him
8:41 PM me: we will stay the course
Kevin: the phigtin's will turn the corner
8:42 PM me: already turned dat mudderphokker
8:43 PM shit sandwich...dere wuz anudder corner
8:44 PM me: JR Towles: .000
Kevin: he might be a horror
me: you don't know?
Kevin: dunno man that was like last month or some shit
8:45 PM me: he is in fact AN Horror...R.I.P.
8:46 PM Kevin: well den i guess he is AN dead mudderphokker
i blame society
me: da Horrors have a grand total of EIGHT pitchers in the majors
8:47 PM Kevin: three starters and five relievers, whats da phokkin prollem gollum?
me: dat inc. John "Soon to be deceased" Bale
8:48 PM Pat Misch? not so much...
Kevin: not soon enough
me: also inc. a Smiff...
Kevin: misch... as in jealous much?
8:48 PM me: no, as in Fresno a lot
8:49 PM Kevin: well then... you've run rings round me logically
me: Yes.
8:52 PM Smiff muttering to himself...what is Hillary's experience Howard FULL@SHIT Fineman is talking about...
8:53 PM Kevin: what da phokk are you watching? or is it a bad hallucinatin
o
n
me: KO
Kevin: stay tuned for west chester
8:53 PM Kevin: not westchester
not chichester
west
wait for it...
8:54 PM chester
me: we're waiting
Kevin: he's wearing a necktie
like datz sposed to make us forget his wid da tarrists
or black
8:55 PM me: Smiff HATES neckties...stoopif phokking pfings
Kevin: sounds like a something the LAPD would phink up
"we were able to place the suspect in a necktie..."
8:56 PM "at which point we were able to subdue the suspect..."
chief gates where are you
8:57 PM me: all i gots to say:
more pinot!
Kevin: phokker
me: ha ha
8:58 PM you shoulda stopped at da booze store on da waz home and shit
8:59 PM Kevin: i phought i had enuf
8:59 PM me: wah roh - the game in LA is delayed DUE TO RAIN
Kevin: the end times will soon be here (wait they are here)
me: no shit, we're next
9:00 PM Kevin: what's it like to be dead?
i've always wondered
me: i'll let you now tomorrow
know
and shit
9:02 PM Kevin: k, but put "i am emailing you from the next world" in the subject line so i know it's worth opening
me: k
9:03 PM it will prolly start:
TOTALLY PHOKKED
here in Waco
Kevin: how can you be totally phokked in the next world if we are totally phokked here in this one?
9:04 PM me: it's just da next stage of being TOTALLY PHOKKED
dis just in:
9:05 PM Dick Cheney: A TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE
Kevin: dat is a surprise
me: yup
just came over da wires
9:09 PM me: GUMBO!
Kevin: whu?
9:10 PM me: dinner
Kevin: now? it's like... tomorrow
me: yes
9:11 PM Kevin: go eat your pokking guumy bear den... it's bedtime here in da real world
me: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Kevin: yes
also, this just in
horror: sucks
me: yeah, real world, where it's not about to drop water from the sky
9:15 PM Kevin: water from the sky? dat sounds pretty biblicamol.
9:16 PM if you get raptured up an shit be sure to say hi to billy graham for me... he's dead right?
me: Jehovah Jehovah Jehovah
9:17 PM Billy Graham is still dead..hallelujah
9:18 PM Kevin: he will be missed
i guess
k den
me: our work here is done
Kevin: no question