News Headline: "Nine out of 10 New Year's resolutions will fail, according to study."

Ok, dis is how i'm going to approach dis:

1) Drink more.
2) Gain more weight.
3) Spend more money.
4) Not see the Phillies in the World Series.
5) Not see Barack Obama as the next President.
6) Not hope and pray for Dick Cheney's heart to explode.
7) Not win Wellness Center again (yeah, right).
8) Not finish ahead of the losers here in Parcers.
9) Waste more time on da internets.
10) Continue not to get laid.