Lattice of Coincidence

Saturday, May 26, 2007

finally, some good news

Edwin Jackson is being skipped in the rotation as a result of Saturday's rainout.

it might have been even earlier

"Nothing that has happened this year has altered my opinion that Piniella lost his mind somewhere around the second year of his tenure in Tampa Bay. I honestly think he does more harm than good at this point."
-- Matthew Pouliot, in his final article for rotoworld.com before his untimely dismemberment.

Battle of the Managerial Idiot-Titans (cont'd)

Appearances at DH this year:

Jason Smifff, Ariz. 4
Rob Mackowiack, CWS 7

Smiff finds k-mad curse not so funny from da udder side

Chukar Cherries placed RHP Joakim Soria on the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to May 23, with right shoulder inflammation.

Good thing I told Smiff to draft Nutsack or we wouldn't have any pitchers left at all.

NOT a k-madder

Diamondbacks placed infielder Jason Smifff on the 15-day disabled list because of a burst appendix.

D'backs officials are still trying to ascertain whether Smifff might have been hiding any previously unknown k-mad connections. Wait, come to think of it, he might have been a Smelt last year.

end of Chicago as we know it?

Breaking news: Severe weather warning issued

I mean, it's not like sKILLy to overreact.

apocomalypse sooner than anticipated

News item: Blue Jays' Halladay returning ahead of schedule

sounds like they've got it under control

"We're doing heavy fighting. This is a fight. There's a war on out there..."

take dat, HATERS!

S: A. Alfonseca (1)

we're all doomed

"A Gallup poll last year showed almost half of Americans believe that humans did not evolve but were created by God in their present form within the last 10,000 years."

New museum says dinosaurs were on Noah's Ark

Hey, i don't see dinosaurs in my bible...are they using "The Bible for Dummies"?

This is SO Cub (cont'd)

Bottom 8th: LA Dodgers
- B. Howry relieved M. Wuertz
- R. Martin singled to right
- L. Gonzalez singled to center, R. Martin to second
- T. Abreu singled to center, R. Martin to third, L. Gonzalez to second
- W. Ohman relieved B. Howry
- O. Saenz hit for A. Ethier
- O. Saenz singled to center, R. Martin scored, L. Gonzalez to third, T. Abreu to second
- A. Guzman relieved W. Ohman
- A. LaRoche hit for R. Seanez
- B. Clark ran for O. Saenz
- L. Gonzalez scored, T. Abreu to third, B. Clark to second on wild pitch
- A. LaRoche walked
- R. Furcal singled to left, T. Abreu scored, B. Clark to third, A. LaRoche to second
- J. Pierre hit sacrifice fly to center, B. Clark scored
- N. Garciaparra grounded into double play shortstop to second to first, R. Furcal out at second

4 runs, 5 hits, 0 errors
Chi Cubs 8, LA Dodgers 9

holy crap is he old

Jamie Moyer beat the Braves for the first time since May 23, 1987 by allowing three runs -- two earned -- in seven innings on Friday. Moyer had a couple of hits in three at-bats just to make sure he'd get the win. He had lost six straight decisions to Atlanta over the last 20 years.

Friday, May 25, 2007

A Heated Battle for the Basement!

11. Maddogs 101
12. Fightin' Bluestem 100

Welcome to the Not Me Decade Where No One is Responsible.

Josh Hancock's father is suing not only the bar where he was drinking the night he killed himself, but also the company that owned the tow truck that his drunk ass ran into, the driver of the tow truck, and the driver of the car that the tow truck was assisting. So let's see, the bar offered to get him a cab and he refused, but it's the bar's fault he drove drunk? The owner of the car that stalled should have kept the car in good enough condition so that it wouldn't stall requiring a tow truck to stop, the tow truck driver should have put flares in the road because drunks can't be expecting to see the flashing lights of the tow truck, and done the job more quickly so that there would have been nothing for the drunk to crash into. I imagine they'll add the woman to whom he was talking on his cell phone to the lawsuit because she distracted him from driving. But what do you expect to happen when inbred Mississippians and lawyers collide.

keyword: awful

Micah Owings went the distance for his first career complete game as the Diamondbacks pummeled the Astros 9-1 on Thursday.
The only disappointment was that he went 0-for-4 at the plate. Owings struck out eight and walked one. He was awful last week after the Diamondbacks opted to skip him in the rotation the week before, but he's a decent choice in NL-only leagues.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The next great Phillie? Mike Zagurski!

Dis guy is getting called up tomorrow. He's, well, large. Think: Terry Forster, Tub of Goo. Or maybe Decker on the mound in his hey day. I, for one, am excited. And he might actually be more than a LOOGY. His stats this year: 23 1/3 IP, 1.16 ERA, 6 BBs, 38 Ks, 0 HRs. Last year he struck out 75 in 56 1/3 and no HRs allowed. He's listed at 6 ft., 225 (translated: 5'10", 248).

Gary Swanciger: Communist

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (AP) -- A flap over an outsized American flag and its flagpole has city officials and an auto dealership dueling over patriotism, advertising and neighborhood peace.

The city reports receiving more than 100 e-mail messages since the City Council last week ordered Towbin Hummer to take down its 100-foot flagpole. Most disagree with the council's decision.

Mayor Oscar Goodman blamed the dealership several miles west of the Las Vegas Strip for not keeping a promise to build a small veterans memorial with the tall pole.

"Get us a memorial, and then we can talk about a flag in excess of 40 feet," said Goodman, who last year endorsed letting the dealership exceed the city's 40-foot flagpole height restriction.

The Towbin Hummer flag isn't the biggest in town. The Terrible Herbst gasoline and convenience store chain has several American flags around the city measuring 30 feet by 50 feet on poles 100 feet tall, said Jim Smith, a purchasing agent.

Dealership owner Dan Towbin said his big flag, which at 30 feet by 60 feet is about the size of a competition volleyball court, fits his dealership.

"The building's oversized, the sign's oversized, the cars are oversized," he told the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

A Towbin aide said a concrete pedestal was being erected at the base of the flag for a plaque to honor veterans.

City spokesman Jace Radke said a City Council member could bring the issue up again. The next meeting is June 6.

Gary Swanciger, a resident who said the flapping of the big flag wakes him at night, said he thought the super-sized Stars and Stripes was designed more to attract customers than build patriotism.

Cholly musta ate a squirrel wid rabies...

While the Phillies intend to use a closer-by-committee with Brett Myers out, manager Charlie Manuel indicated that Antonio Alfonseca might be the favorite for save opportunities.
"Alfonseca has been pitching pretty good for us, and he's done that (job) before," Manuel said. Alfonseca has given up 10 earned runs in 8 2/3 innings over his last 10 appearances, so Manuel clearly isn't going by the dictionary definition of the word good. Pick Alfonseca up at your own risk.