Sarge at the Apple Store?

Why Does This Guy Have an Assault Rifle at the Apple Store?

I thought you were supposed to blend in...

Unclear on multiple concepts

Woman burned while smoking and using oxygen - chicagotribune.com

Pork Soda

It's like drinkin' a pig!
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Coach Dikka loves him some Sarah Palin

‘Ultra-ultra-ultra-conservative’ Coach Dikka praises Palin in profanity laced speech

"A self-described 'ultra-ultra-ultra-conservative,' back in 2004 Dikka! actually considered mounting a U.S. Senate run against Barack Obama, who went on to win the 2008 presidential election."

You mean he could have prevented all this? But he was too yeller?? And dat's Da Coach? My PHOKKING ASS!!

http://youtu.be/2kXX0xxuF3A
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We suck (cont)

Barring a SHOCKING development, this should be the 95th post of the year. We did 98 in a WEEK once. Lots of baseball and lolcats. Also spider pig.

Is K-Mad EVER going to update the label count? Does Brain Dead Bob still exist? Anybody?

[insert own joke here]

Bobby Jenks (back) is undergoing a colonoscopy Monday.

You know, just in case you were curious. Jenks was just beginning to make progress in his rehab from a back injury, so this will obviously set him back a few days. The veteran right-hander has been limited to just 19 appearances with Boston this season. (And in those 19 appearances he HAS SUCKED.--ed.)

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Colbert on Adam Dunn and Craig Counsell: "The human body just does not naturally suck this hard"

Colbert Report: Sport Report - Baseball's Lowest Records, Gambling on Players & Stephen Controls MLB's Twitter Feed
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Now we can get back to the really important debates

Should hot dogs be served with ketchup?

Heck yes! (2044 responses) 43%
Hell no! (2690 responses) 57%
4734 total responses
(Results not scientific, but idiotic)

"Sure, it would be disgusting and perverted, and they would be shaming themselves and their loved ones. But under our system of government, it is their right to be barbarians."
-- Mike Royko

"Children love the delightful red stuff on their dogs."
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more brains, less pizza

Cubs Really Hendried It This Time

by Jason Brannon • Aug 1, 2011 5:17 PM EDT

Jim "Moral Hazard" Hendry wants you to know he won't just give players away, no matter what all these straw men want him to do:

Hendry said before the weekend started that he was not going to make a deal just to make a deal and that he was not going to give players away.

I'm so sick of all these jerks who want Hendry to give players away for nothing. Thanks for not listening to nobody's terrible advice, Jim!

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Brain Dead Bob outed?

I see @branededbob was hacked and has been sending out spam. Hmmm, the same week Corm's gmail account was hacked... coincidink?

hey everyone you've got to check out this article! I made $420 today so far...

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The ultimate Republican win-win - destroy Obama AND America

They wouldn't take a deal that would have cut the accumulation of debt by anywhere from 2.7 to 4 trillion, so instead we get this. If they hate taxes so much, why do they want us all to pay higher interest on everything?

Obama could win and lose at the same time, striking a deal to avoid default but failing to pass muster on the substance of that deal with credit agencies, which could go ahead and downgrade the rating anyway.
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Just how bad are the Cubs?

The Mariners have lost 17 games in a row and still have a better record than they do.

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Kill Kenny takes a dump and slides through it

Not to mention Adam Dunn... And the cost for renting Edwin Jackson? Daniel Hudson.

Mark Gonzalez of the Chicago Tribune reports that the Blue Jays will send right-hander Zach Stewart to the White Sox along with Jason Frasor in the trade for Edwin Jackson and Mark Teahen (who is AWFUL).
This deal is essentially a salary dump for the White Sox, but Stewart certainly has value. The 24-year-old right-hander made his major league debut last month and has a 4.20 ERA and 74/24 K/BB ratio over 16 starts with Double-A New Hampshire this season. He could be a potential set-up man or closer if he doesn't make it as a starter.

The White Sox have benched struggling center fielder Alex Rios.
The White Sox have finally run out of patience with Rios, who is batting just .208/.255/.300 with six homers and a .555 OPS over 384 plate appearances this season. Alejandro De Aza was called up from the minors on Wednesday and will start in center field for the interim. It's in Chicago's best interest for Rios to figure things out, though, as he is still owed $12 million next season, $12.5 million in 2013 and 2014 and $13.5 million or a $1 million buyout in 2015. (DOH!)

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Can Republicans read newspapers?, Or, I don't think anybody expected that Tea Partiers could do something catastrophically stupid

Crain's: How a federal default would hit Chicago and Illinois

A downgrade of the federal government's AAA credit rating "would likely lead ratings agencies to downgrade every state," an Illinois Office of Management and Budget spokeswoman said in a statement. "This action would add hundreds of millions of dollars in interest costs to bonds we sell in the future. Money we desperately need in our state to educate our students, ensure public safety and protect our seniors would now be used to pay interest costs..."

If there is some kind of default next week, the market reaction would no doubt be furious: Credit markets might quickly grind to a halt, much as they did after the bankruptcy of Lehman Bros. plunged the world into financial crisis three years ago, at least until Congress and the White House finally come to terms...

Bottom line, the market's behavior indicates that investors just don't believe Washington is stupid enough to let the government default and plunge the economy into full-tilt recession. At worst, they assume that an actual default would spur action without further delay.

The economic damage and political fallout "would be too much for even the Tea partiers to let that go on for too long," said Justin Hoogendoorn, fixed-income strategist in the Chicago office of BMO Capital Markets, a Bank of Montreal unit. "I don't think anybody in the bond market expects that to happen." (Based on what, exactly? - Ed.)
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Onion or real (cont)?

"How do I insert a CD to the iPad 2?"

There's gotta be a site for ______ (cont)

Damn You Auto Correct! - Funny iPhone Fails and Autocorrect Horror Stories

That's great. Now how about getting his eyes checked.

Adam Dunn has been receiving treatment on one of his knees.

Dunn is not in Chicago's starting lineup on Wednesday for a second straight game. He's expected to be fine by this weekend's three-game series against the Indians.

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The real f'n Chicago Cubs are back!

I was getting a little worried along about the 7th inning last night when suddenly the Cubs appeared...

CHICAGO -- Vance Worley dominated over eight innings, Jimmy Rollins homered from both sides of the plate and the Philadelphia Phillies pounded Ryan Dempster and the Chicago Cubs 9-1 on a scorching Wednesday at Wrigley Field...

But finally some good news...

Alfonso Soriano remained ice-cold Wednesday, going 0-for-3 against the Phillies.

Soriano has opened the second half 1-for-21, and his average has dropped from .270 on June 30 to .249 now. On the plus side, he's only signed through 2014.

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Republicans and the thinking problem

Eight in 10 Republicans in a new Washington Post-ABC News poll say a default would cause serious harm to the economy, but just 30 percent say it’s essential to raise the limit in a contemporaneous Pew Research Center poll. And 47 percent of Republicans in a new NBC/WSJ poll say that not raising the debt limit would be a "real and serious problem."

Epic Photo

From a BBC story on - well, I'll let you guess...