Our Boy's a boxer now!

BBC Sport - Briggs announces fight with Klitschko

YA THINK?!

Cubs Make Carlos Zambrano Available

Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome, etc. and their AWFUL contracts are also probably very available. Call Jimbo at Pizza Hut...

~

Movie night

Exactly half of the Lattice "staff" at opening night of Inception together last night. Turns out this blog is just a dream.

Jim "Anchovies" Hendry vote of confidence goes from puzzlingly obvious to eerily foreboding

"The fact is, right now, Jim is our general manager ... I support him, and I think he does a great job. After that, we'll take it one day at a time."

Affirmative Action gone bad. Allegedly

Cynthia Tucker: Steele Would Have Been Fired a Long Time Ago Were He Not Black | Video Cafe

It's almost like black people sent him to destroy the GOBP from the inside! Almost.

Expect Delays

Also:

Exit the warrior
Today's Tom Sawyer
He gets high on you
And the energy you trade
He gets right on to the friction of the day...

Giant four-lane hole closes southbound Lake Shore Drive

July 5, 2010
Sun-Times Media Wire

A hole has spread across four lanes on Lake Shore Drive at Roosevelt Road, resulting in the closure of the southbound lanes of Lake Shore Drive around that area Monday night.

Police were notified about 6:15 p.m. Monday of a possible cave-in or some sort of structural damage on Lake Shore Drive, police News Affairs Officer Dan O’Brien said.

Southbound lanes on Lake Shore Drive at Roosevelt Road were closed to traffic so the repair work could be done, O’Brien said.

According to unconfirmed dispatch reports, southbound Lake Shore Drive traffic was "at a standstill" as of about 7 p.m.

The hole is four-lanes wide, police said.

The incident could cause some headaches for people who were on their way to a concert by Canadian rock band Rush, at the Charter One Pavilion at Northerly Island Monday night. The show was scheduled to start at 7:30 p.m., according to the Livenation website.

No one has been reported injured, O’Brien said.
~

Nothing better to do?

Congress honors Blackhawks -- despite 5 'no' votes

What's even more shocking than whatever this was, was that good ol' Ronnie Paul wasn't one of the no votes. Unless they do this for every pro team that wins, they need to stick to the job of, I don't know, fixing all that ails this country.

Guns Part 2

Read most of the case and a bunch of lovely articles on the handgun ban overturned in Chicago. I have such mixed feelings. I don't think the case does much but I recognize the immense public outcry against more gun violence in Chicago. I so want to love the 2nd Amendment but it is so difficult at times.

And the whole thing to me has such an undercurrent of racism. Even the opinion talks about law abiding citizens wanting to protect themselves in their own homes against inner city criminals. While I acknowledge that the name plaintiff has dark skin, I think for the vast majority of Americans that when they think of law abiding citizens they think of whites and when they think of inner city criminals they think of blacks. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

And of course the statistics used are gun ownership in rural areas is high and violence is low. Gun ownership in the city is low and gun violence is high. More guns would just solve that problem right? Criminals (well known for completely rational cost-benefit analyses) will be less likely to be criminals if they know that they can die. Well, they've kind of been on to that for a while I think and it doesn't seem to be much of a deterrent. (What me worry?). Maybe the total lack of acess to education and jobs in several minority inner cities has something to do with the crime rate. But as a backstop, the some misguided individuals - patriots, gun owners, fearful (perhaps living outside of cities due to fear of black males) may suggest that even if more guns, leads to more violence, we just have more criminals than we thought. Dead criminals don't commit crime after all, and the noise from the right is that to solve inner city gun problems we don't need more jobs or schools, just more jails. We're good at jails! After all, the criminal justice system is disproportionately targeting minorities, why not just remove that pesky (and expensive) process and let the minorities fight it out (while feigning looks of shock and awe).

And then I realized it. Perhaps I can out flank the right wingers. I find the denial of voting rights to felons an intentional act to disenfranchise thousands of black men from their constitutional right to vote. As a correllary, I don't see how in good conscience that felons who have paid their debt to society can be denied such a fundamental right as the right to bear arms. Now I know what you're thinking - they are a danger to society. Well first of all some of them aren't and won't be again. But even for those who are - chances are they were going to carry again anyway and for sure they probably are returning to the highest crime ridden areas of our cities. Any attempt to deny them their right to defend themselves or their right to vote is essentially a cruel and unusal punishment. Likewise given the disproportionate effects of our legal system, it should not pass strict scrutiny. The system seems designed to create an underclass of disenfranchised, disarmed black males. This is wrong. It was wrong under slavery, wrong under Jim Crow laws and is wrong now.

For me the worst case scenario of such a decision is black on black violence. Status Quo Ante I say. For others the worst case scenario would be a violent minority insurrection. Like I said, I have such mixed feelings.

Guns!

Hooray. The City of Chicago and Oak Park can now form militias to prevent the Federal government from attacking us. Oh wait. No?

People in the City of Chicago and Oak Park can now own handguns to protect themselves from criminals [read: negros]. Oh well. An exciting ruling on its face, but considering we could already own long guns, not half as nearly interesting as everyone would have us believe. And frankly, if the people braking into your house have handguns themselves (and as a pointer to would-be-theives - carry a handgun - idiot) and can get the drop on you (In my house I have my 7 year old on the watch from midnight to 4 a.m. - I've got to work after all) then how does it matter.

I love the reaction on the interwebs though. The victory won't be complete until we can all concealed carry and until we can all carry fully automatic weapons to political rallies. Frankly, I'm hoping for access to weapons of mass destruction and a repeal of the laws outlawing cold-blooded murder. Only then will the victory be complete.

Post # 5000!!

USA! USA! USA!

We suck

All we get are spam comments. We're no better than the Trib. I blame Smiff.

Holy $#!+ We're so Phokked!

The Amoeba is coming...

Having killed all of al-Qaida's number twos they can find, the drones are coming to write you a speeding ticket

Betcha Da Mare would love to get his hands on a couple-two-tree uh dese for da Departmenta Streets and San (and Skies?)...

FAA mulls domestic drone use

WASHINGTON (AP) — Unmanned aircraft have proved their usefulness and reliability in the war zones of Afghanistan and Iraq. Now the pressure is on to allow them to roam U.S. skies.

The Federal Aviation Administration has been asked to issue flying rights for a range of pilotless planes to carry out civilian and law-enforcement functions but has been hesitant to act. Officials are worried they might plow into airliners, cargo planes and corporate jets that zoom around at high altitudes or helicopters and hot air balloons that fly as low as a few hundred feet off the ground.

Scammers. Now on Facebook.

facebook Ben sent you a message. Ben KabiliJune 15, 2010 at 9:31pm Subject: FROM BARISTER KABILI BEN (kabili law chambers lome,Togo Republic) UNCLAIMED FAMILY ESTATE How are you today, This is Mr. Kabili ben, a solicitor at law. I am making this proposal to you in respect to the death of one Mr E. Matwawa (last name edited, Ben did use mine - ed),a native of your country who was my client until death leaving some huge amount of money in a security finance firm valued US$6.5million. Am proposing that you be presented as the next of kin and beneficiary of the fund. I shall detail you on the confirmation of your genuinity to work this out with me. Kindly use your personal email address and contact me directly through this my private email address : benkabili02@hotmail.fr for further discussions. Regards, KABILI BEN Esq. Telephone +228 077 5264

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Last seen in LA...

God is mad at... Jesus?

'Touchdown Jesus' destroyed by lightning

The 6-story-tall landmark that surprised and fascinated travelers on I-75 burns to the ground....

~

another baseball analogy gone horribly wrong

Oh, Canada

They're trying, but this is not good enough. No way are they crazier than we are. Good attempt though.

Woman Sues Wireless Company After Husband Discovers Affair Through Phone Bill | The Frisky

I don't mean to seem like I care about my mom's feelings.

I just want bubbles and a dopey band for my church.

In case there was any lingering doubt that she's as bat-s#i+-crazy as her husband

"Today is a good day because today begins a process to correct a terrible injustice that’s been done to my husband, our family and the people of Illinois."

-- Patti Blagojevich

Yep, they all look alike....

Better than Fred Armisen, i guess...

Porn Valley "samurai sword" slasher played Obama in adult film

~

Mourning "Dollar Bill" Wirtz - The Movie

Buzzing News

Are cell phones killing off bees?

SHAMEFUL McCAIL WEB BLASTED BY HAYWORTH CAMPAIGN

J.D. Hayworth is getting sick and tired of Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) always reminding people of that time Radar magazine put him on that list of America's Dumbest Congresspersons...

Put a bumblebee in your butt, Put a clock in your butt, Put a big rock in your butt...

Let the Da Mare put a gun in your butt...

How Does Sarge (Keep) Do(ing) It?

Movie Tickets Reach $20

SHOCKING!

Preckwinkle says 2012 earliest she'd cut back county sales tax

Vote for me and I'll cut your taxe....Now that I'm (a shoo in to be) in office I like the tax just fine, and will find any old excuse to keep it.

Is anyone surprised?

The (final) countdown

Sarah Palin Fan Club Predicts the Date and Place of Palin's Presidential Announcement

I think I can, I think I can, I think....

http://www.ridetheslut.com/

mistakes were made

Do you know who's to blame for this?

...WHITEY:

A source tells Mike Salk of 710 ESPN in Seattle that Milton Bradley left the team in the middle of Tuesday's game against the Rays.
Bradley was frustrated after striking out looking with the bases loaded in the bottom of the sixth inning. He yelled at the umpire from the bench until Mariners manager Don Wakamatsu warned him to settle down. Just minutes later Bradley reportedly told Wakamatsu, "I'm packing my stuff. I'm out of here." Mariners General Manager Jack Zduriencik didn't address the matter specifically on Wednesday, other than to say something that happens between the manager and his players should be handled internally. We're guessing that Wakamatsu might not have to worry about Bradley much longer.
Source: MYNorthwest.com
~

Don't Tase me bro

Phillies Fans. What a buncha maroons.

Expect Delays

Literally.

Red, Orange line delays expected this week :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Transportation

It can't happen here

German man 'marries' his dying cat

A German man has unofficially married his cat after the animal fell ill and vets told him it might not live much longer, Bild newspaper reports.

It says Uwe Mitzscherlich, 39, paid an actress 300 euros (£260,$395) to officiate at the ceremony, as marrying an animal is illegal in Germany.

Mr Mitzscherlich said he had wanted to tie the knot before his asthmatic cat Cecilia died.

The cat and groom have lived together for 10 years.

"Cecilia is such a trusting creature. We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed," Mr Mitzscherlich, a postman from the eastern town of Possendorf, told Bild.

Actress Christin-Maria Lohri, who officiated the ceremony, was quoted as saying: "At first I thought it was a joke. But for Mr Mitzscherlich it's a dream come true".

This won't matter after the bees disappear... wait... yes it will

Fears for crops as shock figures from America show scale of bee catastrophe

The world may be on the brink of biological disaster after news that a third of US bee colonies blah blah blah...
~

Clowns Read the News

Juggalo News - watch more funny videos

Almost a whole month without a post?

I blame Sarge. He's the one ranting on the twitterz with his like 8 different screen names while the LoC wastes away. Yep, all Sarge's fault.

Fung, about to get unhinged..

Apparently this counts as sports "journalism"...

When Canadians Attack

let me think about that a sec...

No.

More proof that majority rule in the hands of a really stupid populace is a toxic mix

Which day would you rather see become a national sports holiday?

Monday after Super Bowl 57%
Friday of NCAA tournament first round 43%
Total votes 193,353
Results not scientific, but profoundly idiotic

Today's Factoid
Fun facts about the profoundly idiotic culture we live in...
Games broadcast on Friday of NCAA tournament first round: 16
Games broadcast on Monday after Super Bowl: 0
~

Cubs / fiery crash nexuses in the news (cont'd)

News item: The Chicago Cubs are in discussions with Toyota on a multi-year deal to have the car maker’s emblem adorn a lighted sign in the left-field bleachers at Wrigley Field.

When editing goes hilariously wrong

This made me laugh when I saw (well, heard) this on TV - I'm glad someone cut it out...

Doggie, or Kitteh?

Clearly they say doggie, but you decide...

Also note the use of what I assume to be Chinglish in the description, though it is much better on dis one - starts right in the title...

They should try this with bacon, or, those wacky Germans (cont'd)

Only moderately popular at sea level, tomato juice is almost irresistibly delicious at an altitude of 32,000 feet, German researchers have confirmed.
~

It's Da City Dat Ruins Petulant Athletes

Milton Bradley blamed the city of Chicago for his poor 2009 season.
"Two years ago, I played, and I was good," said Bradley. "I go to Chicago, not good. I’ve been good my whole career. So, obviously, it was something with Chicago, not me." The distractions -- many self-inflicted -- surely didn't help, but he should at least take some responsibility for his poor production. Bradley said that there was "no communication" in Chicago, and that was expected to hit 30 home runs. That won't happen in Seattle, so at least he has that going for him.
Source: New York Times

~

Is this a joke?

The White Sox plan to use Mark Kotsay as their designated hitter against right-handers, and Andruw Jones against lefties.
~

WHAT AN ASSHOLE!

Haiti and health-care reform

For the past year or two, the American left and its cheerleaders on the MSNBC primetime block have beaten a steady drum for “health-care reform.” And yet, in the past month, a different news story has dominated headlines and chatter: the disaster in Haiti.

In hindsight, the scope of the Haitian disaster could have been reduced. Attention could have been called to the threat of earthquakes in the area and that so very many cement buildings would collapse and crush their occupants. Plans could have been formulated, debated, and put in motion. Potentially thousands of lives could have been saved had this course been taken.

Haitians’ vulnerability to earthquakes was, it goes without saying, not once discussed by Rachel Maddow in the months leading up to the deaths of 200,000 people. Keith Olbermann did not comment, specially or otherwise, on the failure of Congress or whoever else to act in the matter. Yet all along, as it turned out, a massive time-bomb was ticking away a few hundred miles from Miami. Americans were talking about the wrong issues and trying to solve the wrong problems, and we have paid a terrible price for those errors.

Some may argue that these were not in fact errors. We are Americans, it could be said, not Haitians, so it was not our problem. It could be claimed that we could never have seen this coming, or that even had we seen it coming, there was nothing to be done. But none of these arguments can be accepted without some sort of major concession on the part of liberal thinkers. For a liberal to say “I am not Haitian, thus I have no concern for this matter,” would be to admit of a grossly unbecoming nationalism. For a liberal to say, “We could not have seen this coming,” would be to hold that the American scientific apparatus suffers debilitating incapacities, unable to figure out where a quarter million lives might be at risk. For a liberal to say, “There was nothing we could have done,” would be to argue that government action can do little to improve matters abroad.

None of these concessions could be forthcoming: Liberals obviously are concerned for the well-being of Haitians, American scientists could have estimated (and some probably did estimate) the risk of an earthquake and the extent of devastation that would result, and liberals will not soon favor the writings of Bill Easterly to those of Jeffrey Sachs. And yet, liberal thought leaders spent 2009 obsessing not over the paralyzing poverty and terrifying earthquake risk faced by Haitians but instead over the details of a health-care bill that, in the best-case scenario, will mean slightly more medical treatment for some members of one of the most medicalized societies the world has ever seen.

Is the conclusion, then, that we have been talking about the wrong things? When we gathered around watercoolers last year to talk American health-care reform, should we have been pondering Haitian vulnerability to earthquakes? I think that a compassionate, cosmopolitan liberal would have to say yes, in hindsight, that is exactly what we should have been doing. But consider that, as I write today, the main thrust of liberal chatter is already refocused on health-care reform and the partisan composition of the United States Senate.

The MSNBC primetime writers have not performed a systematic post-disaster scan of the scientific landscape in a desperate humanitarian effort to find the next great vulnerability; instead, they have unapologetically reverted to their pre-disaster ways. Viewers are still, apparently, supposed to believe that American health-care reform is the greatest crusade of our time, with a Democratic supermajority being the vital means to that end. Somehow, Maddow’s sense of moral superiority survived the quake.

The Haitian disaster makes clear that the manifest agenda of the political left in the United States is not driven by thorough science or by altruistic compassion. The thought leaders and Democratic politicians are doing exactly what one would expect if their goals were to increase the material means and the social status of their consumer-constituents: the politicians propose policies that materially benefit those constituents, and the thought leaders shroud those policies in the holy cloth of morality. If and when these get their way, blue-collar Americans may enjoy a few extra medical procedures and left-leaning news consumers will get their righteousness fix, vulnerable populations around the globe be damned.

He also has a cure for cancer...

Scott Boras, the agent for outfielder Johnny Damon, said Thursday that he thinks there's still a "quality market" for his client. "I still feel there is a quality market for Johnny Damon," Boras said, "and I'm negotiating with a number of teams. There are three teams out there that if they don't have Johnny Damon, they're not winning the division. He's the difference in these teams making the playoffs or not contending."
~

Meanwhile, LoC enjoys the peace dividend

Salon's Glenn Greenwald:

Barack Obama, like George Bush before him, has claimed the authority to order American citizens murdered based solely on the unverified, uncharged, unchecked claim that they are associated with Terrorism and pose "a continuing and imminent threat to U.S. persons and interests." They're entitled to no charges, no trial, no ability to contest the accusations. Amazingly, the Bush administration's policy of merely imprisoning foreign nationals (along with a couple of American citizens) without charges -- based solely on the President's claim that they were Terrorists -- produced intense controversy for years. That, one will recall, was a grave assault on the Constitution.

whitey still can't jump - but maybe that's the point, or, whitey/two-handed set shot nexus in the news

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

Internet (Western civilization?) fulfills its destiny

Without any fuss, the stars are going out...

Sigh.

Smiff Inspired?

No pants subway - CTA edition

News item: Wisconsin still without official state ice fishing lure

Bills currently before the Wisconsin legislature:

A bill to make Harley-Davidson the official state motorcycle,

A bill to make cheese the official state snack,

A bill to make Lactococcus lactis, used in the conversion of milk to cheese, the official state microbe.

Wisconsin already has an official state song, which is not to be confused with its state waltz or state ballad, and an official state animal, which is not to be confused with its state domestic animal, wildlife animal, or dog. And the state beverage, milk, is just factually incorrect, on a rather obvious level.

Whitey at it again

Lawsuit: White transit riders favored

Merry Christmas!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Chan Ho Park sues ex-Dodger battery mate, claiming $460,000 loan hasn't been paid in full

News item — Chan Ho Park has sued his former Dodger battery mate Chad "Gimme Back My Phokking Cap" Kreuter, accusing him of failing to fully pay off a $460,000 loan.

Smiff and k-mad were there for Kreuter's most thrilling night in the majors!

New Opening Day tradition at Wrigley?

Not again! Giant Swedish Christmas goat statue gets torched

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) – Arsonists set fire early on Wednesday to a giant straw statue of the Swedish Yule goat, a forerunner to Santa Claus in Sweden, defying security measures for a third year in a row.

Last Minute Gift Ideas

Found this lovely one in Skymall...

Well you know, so much was going on during the campaign, it's hard to remember it all

Obama now says he didn't campaign on the public option. The Google says he did, a lot.

Alexi the boy-genius

April 22, 2208: Morningstar, Inc. named Illinois’ Bright Start College Savings Program on April 16 one of the top five college savings plans in the nation... After taking office, Illinois Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias, above, overhauled Bright Start, selecting OppenheimerFunds Inc., through a competitive bid, to manage the program, starting last July. Oppenheimer made it among the lowest-cost programs in the nation, and offered investment options that gained a higher return rate.

Woops!

Decemeber 22, 2009: The state of Illinois has reached a settlement in its lawsuit over losses in the Bright Start college savings program under which parents will get back $77.23 million — slightly more than half of what they lost in investments handled by Oppenheimer Funds Inc.

Our long metropolitan nightmare is over

A reminder

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

It's phokking cold here

Smiff was complaining about 32 degrees. Well it's 0 here. 0 F, not 0 C that you're whining about. We've also got snow n $#!+. With more of both to come. So la di frickin da Smiff, your weather is positively balmy compared to da city of da Daleys. We know how to run winter up here.

Fung has his knit hat on in da office. Dat's how cold it is up in here. I knew I shouldn't have cut my hair...

Which reminds me, perhaps I should take a pic for Briggs to add to his knit hats collection. Where's the phone?

Ineptitude

So we're on pace for what, under a quarter of the number of posts in 2008? Yet we have more authors now than we did then? Wha happen? I know W is gone n all, but, was he really that instrumental to the content on this blog? No healthcare debate? No wars debate? Maybe more stats from K-Mad would inspire us, but somehow I don't think they've changed much from the last time he ran them. No Tweets? No Facebook page updates? Is everyone, like, getting a life or something? How many questions can I ask in a row?

Birthers? Palin selling a book? Blago selling a book? Daley selling annudder part of da city? Bearzzzzzzzzzz........

That's a spicy zettabyte

The American Diet: 34 Gigabytes a Day

A report published Wednesday by the University of California, San Diego (Smiff's people? ed), calculates that American households collectively consumed 3.6 zettabytes of information in 2008.

Clearly, this chart is inaccurate. There should be a large slice of the pie going to the Lattice of Coincidence. No word as to whether we need to cut down TV or computer in order for us to lose weight.

News item: It gets cold in Chicago

News item: City parking meters freeze up

(Crain’s) — The city’s newly privatized parking meters weren’t prepared for Chicago’s first cold snap.

Some of the new parking meter kiosks operated by LAZ Parking (Ok, was that really a good choice for the name of the company? Was that the first decision they made at their first meeting around the conference table, and it all went downhill from there? Just askin... Ed.) under a controversial lease deal that has already experienced operating difficulties froze up overnight as temperatures plunged into the single digits.

Bacon and chocolate can relieve gift-giving stress

Salty and sweet collide in these chewy cookies

Maple Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies
~

Brain-Dead Americans (cont)

So I got this joke in my inbox of my emails on the Internets...

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?

They are both in danger of being beaten to death by a Norwegian with a club !

'Course, she's a SWEDE, but you know, don't let FACTS get in the way of a lame joke. Besides, who even knows the difference between Norway and Sweden? Aren't they, like, in Finland or something? No, that's Denmark...

How does that saying go?

Acorn doesn't fall far from the tree? Like father like son? Dollar dollar bill y'all? If it's not one thing it's another?

Wirtz lawsuit over booze tax hike holds up CTA capital dollars

LoC=Spam? (cont)

Apparently the new big thing is to post a spam comment in a post we made last year. That way if you just go to the blog you don't see it (Briggs & I saw them coz we subscribe to the RSS feed for comments), but we then become one of them spamming blogs that Google hates sooo much. So I's made a coupla changes unilateral style - no more anonymous commenting (sorry brain dead bob et al) and comments on older posts will have to be approved before posting. If anyone thinks I've overstepped my authoritah, you suck, if anyone has (a) better idea(s), you suck, and if you are a spammer, you especially suck.

Even A Caveman Can Do It

Newly signed Chargers OT Jon Runyan plans to retire after the season.
Runyan will run for Congress in New Jersey's 3rd district in 2010. "I look forward to a successful end to my career on the field," he said, "and a spirited campaign against Congressman (John) Adler." He will run as a Republican.
~

Could dis be Da Berz fate?

School Northwestern is often confused with shuts down American Football program

Better Wear Shades

World's Most Garish Candidate Website

~

What can we sell off for short-term gain next?

Maybe da Bears?

Company Piles Up Profits From City’s Parking Meter Deal

My new intern

Not quite ready for primetime...

Night of the Living Dead Hoosier Wingnuts

Maybe she had to rush back to work... Oh, right...

"Moose -- holding eyeballs of"

Page 32.

Another indication that the world is ending

The Main Stream Media says it isn't.

Is Doomsday Coming? Perhaps, but Not in 2012

Apparently, the New York Times isn't impressed that the current 5,125 year cycle of 13 bak'tuns will end on December 20, 2012. (Did the Mayans have to make the world end right before Christmas? Why did they hate Jesus?)

"If you want to worry, most scientists say, you should think about global climate change (I think this blog has successfully debunked that myth - Ed.), rogue asteroids (NOW we're talking! :-) - Ed.), or nuclear war (tried it - didn't work - Ed.)."

Why didn't I think of that?

Taiwanese online hunk lures 20 women into bed
With his dad, who turns out to be him

A Taiwanese man has been cuffed for allegedly posing online as a "youthful male model" and persuading up to 20 females to have sex with his father, the China Daily reports.

Hsu Shian-ming's internet pitch got a lively response from women "interested in romantic liaisons". The 55-year-old scammer convinced his victims that his old man was suffering from prostate cancer - a condition which meant he needed constant sex to stay alive.

The angels of mercy obliged, administering life-saving treatment to dad in various Taipei hotels. Pop's cancer was evidently serious, because the women were "persuaded into unconventional sex acts varying from putting foreign objects in their private parts, anal sex, or threesomes", the China Daily indelicately puts it.

The wheels came off the audacious ruse after one of the women failed in her attempts to meet the son.

She called in private investigators who revealed that father and son were one and the same person. Police arrested Hsu on Saturday, and a subsequent search of his house revealed "dozens" of photos of the handsome young man used as bait.

They also found "hundreds of female pictures each with detailed descriptions on the back". During his medical treatment, Hsu had photographed his victims nude, then used the snaps to "threaten them into doing future sex favours".

Hsu allegedly also relieved his targets of cash and goods to the value of 200m Taiwan New Dollars (£3,725,000).

The worst hit was "a cougar surnamed Yu", who handed over gifts including seven iPhones, a £1,862 monthly allowance, diamond and pearl necklaces, a Porsche, and a "limited-edition watch valued at a staggering £145,000".

Hsu, described by police as a "divorced bald man" and "physically unattractive", faces five years in jail on each of multiple fraud raps. ®

Who is K-Mad going to kick around now?

Lou Dobbs is outta here.

100% of Lou Dobbs 35 viewers are sad.

~

Oh! For a smooth, creamy cupcake!

Monday! Syracuse 75, Albany 43
Today! Syracuse 100, Robert Morris 60

Should they be medicated?

The delicate science of ensuring that Wal-Mart shoppers don't kill you, or each other

A year after an unruly crowd trampled a worker to death at a Wal-Mart store, the nation’s retailers are preparing for another Black Friday, the blockbuster shopping day after Thanksgiving. Along with offering $300 laptops and $99 navigation devices, stores are planning new safety measures to make sure the festive day does not take another deadly turn...

Let's see, how can we destroy Thanksgiving for our employees?

The most significant change at Wal-Mart is that the majority of its discount stores (as opposed to its Supercenters) will open Thanksgiving morning at 6 a.m. and stay open through Friday evening. Last year, those stores closed Thanksgiving evening and reopened early Friday morning. By keeping the stores open for 24 hours, Wal-Mart is hoping for a steady flow of shoppers instead of mammoth crowds swelling outside its stores in the wee hours of Friday.

Let's see, how can we take away my family's favorite holiday tradition?

In another new twist this year, shoppers at Wal-Mart will not have to sprint toward a pile of flat-screen televisions and scuffle with one another to get one. (But this is what Christ was ABOUT! ~ Ed.) Rather, customers will be able to enter the store at any time and line up at merchandise displays for the must-have items on their lists. When the products go on sale Friday at 5 a.m., workers will supervise the lines, giving shoppers the merchandise in the order in which they joined the line — until the goods are out of stock (zzzzzzzzz... Ed.).

God's Hand

This was hilarious at 3 in the morning. Let's see if it stands the test of time...

The Onion? Or The Inevitable?

United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood

Mismatch? Or Zzzzzzzzzzzz......?

George W. Bush vs. Bill Clinton; Former presidents to debate in New York -- chicagotribune.com

Just in time for the holidays - Kosher, vegetarian bacon flavor

From the good people who brought you Baconnaise...


"Bacon Salt is a zero calorie, zero fat, vegetarian and Kosher seasoning that makes everything taste like bacon."

Smiff is onto something?

Well, either he or Dick "Dick" (Dick) Dick...

Feeling grumpy 'is good for you'

Though the bright sunny days of San Diego seem to negate that somewhat...

Snow Leopard vs Windows 7

So Fung just bought himself a new laptop with Windows 7 on it. He was also FORCED to buy baby sis a new computer with Snow Leopard on it (or at least I think it's on there, we did buy refurbished). So Fung thinks to himself - hey, I can look at both, and praise or trash them using his blog! I guess I'll have to pry the computer from my sisters hands at some point - maybe we'll swap just for the grins. I will say so far on the Windows 7 side that the taskbar at the bottom looks eerily similar to the dock that OS X has had since, what, the beginning of time? Sigh. I sees myself having lotsa fun with dis one...

Good News Everyone

Fung will be able to blab on, even in da deepest tunnels of da CTA. In exchange, CTA gets some money for the slush fund.

Blimey!

What has this world come to? Even kids aren't immune from layoffs! Why there ought to be a law...

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)

Fewer Americans See Solid Evidence of Global Warming

There has been a sharp decline over the past year in the percentage of Americans who say there is solid evidence that global temperatures are rising. And fewer also see global warming as a very serious problem – 35% say that today, down from 44% in April 2008.

Or maybe it's empty

Da Mare goes Ape $#!+?

Not dis video again...

Brain-Dead Angelenos

Bears draw more viewers than Dodgers. In Los Angeles.

Even Vista isn't this bad. Sure, it crashes, burps, slows down, is unintuitive, and is just darn right nasty. But it doesn't just lose all your data just because you installed an update!

Apple acknowledges Snow Leopard data loss issue

Let's see how Windows 7 will top this screw up...

The Smiff Reign of TERROR!!!!

Smiff - a reign of Terror unseen since French Times...

What sticks in the craw.

What makes the rain sad.

What makes ice cream taste like salt.

A pretty girl walks down the street in a yellow dress and you don't even notice.

Defeat.

Defeat, an old unwelcome friend with the chilly embrace and the long thin fingers that unwind across your back. October.

The Wellness Center All-Star League.

Smiff is champion again. Say it with me. Say it one time, say it twice. Say it three times, say it four. Smiff is champion again.

Evil triumphs. The hero is thrown from the horse. The villain has the jewels.

Was it a collapse? Undoubtedly. But to claim it was just a collapse would be to deny the evil genius of a man who never made a waiver claim gone wrong. Who combs the free agent pool leaving gold trails along the discarded names as he plucks the nugget from the rough and washes it to a shine in the MI position. Or in the C2 position.

Holds.

In the long days of summer it seemed the leaves would live forever, so strong they held the sunlight in a gleam and the moonlight in mystery. Joe Mauer would double and the crowd would be disappointed. Lincecum would allow a run to gasps from the crowd. Even Cole Hamels only sucked a little.

And the Lord Viper Scorpians were sucking air. Or did they just plot?

Was this rope-a-dope?

We know what the evil genius would say. But we know also that in the dark night of his soul, a blackness that could only be imagined, like a black hole, or some Vernesian vortex in the middle of some lost ocean, there were many 7 for 37s with a double and a couple rbi. A quarter score of double plays to sicken what gleam of hope attempted to make its way down into the dark depths of the Viper soul.

Yet Smiff plotted. Tireless fingers worked the waiver strings and his master puppeteering began to pay results in the shorter days, the longer, hot August nights.

Smiff was reborn. A Phoenix of the Seventh Circle ascending.

We fought. We traded. We prayed for rain. Hamels began to pitch like an asshole again. In a surprise to nobody, Harden, a wounded bird on a hot porch, foundered with stunted wing. The Cyclones fell, Icarus-like, toward the vortex opening beneath them.

Still they fought. Thrashed. Sighed at the emptiness of a middle infield that Sahara like stretched empty to the farthest horizons. Aye, there was no there there. And yet they walked. Wary eyes on the riders approaching from the rear on the dark horses.

The moon lit their reflections red and for weeks trails were covered up as we hid among the dunes of our early fortune.

But the windstorm of the Viper Elefantes did duel with the Cyclones and fate had it that this is the Wellness Center, and the tie goes to the Champion of long-standing.

This year.

But this year is the bookend to the beginning of a dynasty.

Yes. It is the end.

The Smiff has been bloodied. He needed the miracle of Charbeanaeuan incompetence to save him. What next year when others rise to compete? Will the Foleys don the armor of the noble challenger? Will Kevin fight for the honor of the librarian? Will Desiree finish yet another marathon?

Will the Beej uncover untold riches in the aging lumber of hungry veterans? Will Zak awake to the cries of a child in the early night only to be struck with the inspiration of a real trade offer?

Will the chemists of the West Coast alchemize the gold shield to dismiss the spears of Smiff's genius?

Will it be Corms again, his genius shined after his years in the wilderness of the basement?

It will be some or it will be all of us.

Yes, Smiff will languish in the tower of sorrows.

Smiff,

You will lose. Your race is run. The stops have been put out and you enjoy another fat winter. But the spring rains will be cold this year. And the August nights will be full of the pestering bites of misfortune. September will be the bitter harvest of your evil genius.

You will lose.

You will lose.

You are champion. You will lose.

And you'll LIKE it!

It's that annual time of year that comes around every year about this time...

"You'll pay more -- as much as 75 cents more a ride. You'll have to wait another five or 10 minutes for the bus or train to arrive and it likely will be even more crowded than it is now. And if you work for the Chicago Transit Authority, you could be one of the 1,000 folks who are about to be laid off."