News Grouping

So I looked at the Trib's home page today, and I realised they grouped the stories all wrong. They use Nation, Local, Sports, Entertainment, Travel, etc. I propose a more logical, if slightly more wordy, grouping arrangement:



Why the phokk is this news?



7 people charged in weekend marijuana bust on Near South Side

No sign of Britney Spears at custody hearing

Eva Longoria gives Jessica Simpson advice



Stories you wouldn't normally care about, so we added something to the headline explain why you should care...



Dolphin dies at Brookfield Zoo

Naperville driver, 88, killed in car crash

'Pulp Fiction' screenwriter arrested



The whole story is in the headline, so keep moving...

Amtrak cop loses part of thumb in door at Union Station

Chicken manure spill covers a mile of road in Iowa

T.O. tears up

We had to make the headline snappy to make you read this otherwise boring story...

Bo knows banks

Obama, Clinton let elbows fly

Health Club: My favorite drug? Exercise

Why even bother?

Tom Skilling: Snow, frigid blast to whip Chicago area

New chief development officer named at WTTW parent

Brevity is key with voice mail

Early voting begins in Illinois

I could go on, but it makes my head hurt on this slow news day we have.