Will Carroll's latest blushing cheeks moment which is causing me to retch still:
"[What] I really don't want to see early on a Sunday morning is myself in high-definition video. Unfortunately, the citizens of Indianapolis were subjected to that on Sunday when my pal John Michael asked me to come on with him at WTHR. While TV has lost its mystery and wonder to me--"Oh look, there's the set! And the green screen for weather!"--it's become a way of looking in the mirror. BP, Ballbug, and MLB.com are great, but it's still local news and Sportscenter where most people get their sports fix."
Look man, I just want to know about the injuries. I want to know who's coming back when, maybe hear a rumor or two (and I know you know them and can't tell us because you know, it's a highly placed source and all, whatever Nixon, but just once in awhile, tell me some shortstop, some pitcher, some phokking Cub or one of K-Mad's guys fell off a stationary bike, whatever, I'll believe it. I want to believe it.). I want to read about the Cubs, the Crab Queens and the Cyclones, I don't give a phokk about your friend the local news guy. My friend Ryan knows the weather guy in North Platte, we're even, tell me about the phokking injuries!
I don't give a phlying phokk about your philosophical musings on phokking technology. I don't. I just phokking don't. They're stupid and inspipid. And I hate your phokking powered by...you almost ruined Wilco phor me. Ugh. You really need to just talk about injuries. An occasional pat on the back for your phantasy teams, that's cool. An occasional, hey guess what, I'm on the radio here or the tv here, ok. But don't give me phokking psychophantic pictures of Peter Gammons with some sickly sweet "here's who the next commissioner can be" so you can get your bloviating ass on phokking SportsCenter some random Tuesday in the warmer months...it's annoying. It's phokking annoying and I hate it. Nobody likes it except for assheads. And I can't find a "p - phokking - h" for them.
That's it. I got a write a paper now.
And Will. Goddamn it, we're in it together.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment