Friday, June 22, 2007

Piniella: But that Lou guy, WHAT AN IDIOT!

Piniella: 'I like Barrett' Also: Lou Lies A LOT

By Paul "Idiot Asshole" Sullivan
Tribune staff reporter
Published June 22, 2007, 7:39 PM CDT

Cubs manager Lou Piniella shrugged off criticism from the Padres' Geoff Blum that he doesn't particularly like catchers. Blum used White Sox catcher Toby Hall as evidence, without getting into specifics.

"Ask [Michael] Barrett," Piniella said. "Ask [Koyie] Hill. Ask Henry [Blanco]. I don't know. I haven't said a word to anybody here. You know what's amazing, is that Lou wants to see things done right. That's all Lou wants. And if you do things right, you win baseball games. But I had a great relationship with Michael."

Piniella said he didn't see Barrett's reaction at his news conference to a question about his relationship with Piniella. Barrett appeared not to be a fan of Piniella's tough-love style.

"Look, I like Michael. I had many nice conversations with the man," Piniella said. "I was supportive. But you know what? You all ask me questions. Ask the people who played for me. They'll give you good responses, one way or another. … You do things right and you win baseball games. And that's what you want your players to do, and with Michael, he gave me everything he had."

And dat's why da Cubzzz got rid of him FOR NOTHING AND THREW IN $1.5 MEEEELion.

Shocking Developement

CHICAGO WHITE SOX CENTER FIELDER DARIN ERSTAD LEFT THE GAME IN THE BOTTOM OF THE FIRST INNING DUE TO AN UNDISCLOSED INJURY.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

There's probably something to be learned here...

Woman jailed for testicle attack
A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.

"That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

Do you have five minutes to waste?

Then read dis...
Ask Paul Sullivan aka The Smug Jerk Idiot Asshole Cubz Apologist
The Tribune's Cubs reporter takes a dump on the internets and slides through it

speaking of lying liars...

Lake winds cooling Chicago
The threat of severe weather in the Chicago area this afternoon has lessened*.

On da flipside, in DC the forecast today was for sun all day. Right now we're having a thunderstorm and it might^ rain for the next several hours.

*aka sKILLy's forecast was totally wrong!

^aka We don't phokking know either, just like our original forecast.

Cubzzz Update...still sucking

Down 5-0 behind the suddenly horrible Ted Lilly (Hendry signing)....

And is anyone shocked that Jason Marquis (Hendry signing) is showing his true colors (a white streak flying out of parks).

Sure glad i'm not a Cubz fan...i surely would have killed myself by now.

here's a HYOOOGE phokking lie

General manager Jim Hendry denied Barrett's fight with Zambrano on June 1 was an impetus to get rid of Barrett. "Truthfully, the fight had nothing to do with it," Hendry said.

Yo, Pizzaman, we're not all phokking idiots like you.

More phokking bullshit:
"We felt [Barrett] was well on his way* to becoming a terrific player*, an All-Star caliber player*," Hendry said. "This year he has had a tougher time defensively, and a lot of it's probably from trying too hard, and some of it's maybe because it's the last year of his deal, but he has been a really, really good offensive player*."

* So you trade him FOR NOTHING and THROW IN $1.5 MEEEEELLION? Why hasn't this blubbering, idiotic, stoooooopid, moron been fired already?

Who's the smart guy now?

Failed States Index Scores 2007

1. Sudan
2. Iraq(/U.S.)
3. Somalia
4. Zimbabwe

160. The Good Ol' U S and A

177. Phokking Norwegian Phokks

Smiff is feeling angry, frustrated, seething, hot, bothered, HATEful...

• Southern California produces 10 percent of the world's serial killers.

What color are da Chix?

• Chickens lay eggs that are the color of their earlobes.

tough to see dis one coming

Anibal Sanchez will undergo K-Mad-induced exploratory arthroscopic shoulder surgery Thursday.
Sanchez's season is likely over. "They're going to take a look in there with a scope," general manager Larry Beinfest said Wednesday. "I don't think they know exactly what it is, but they're going to need to take a look."

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

funny...

LA Dodgers
IP H R ER BB K HR Season ERA
H. Kuo (L, 1-2) 1.2 6 8 8 2 1 1 6.65

we need to run government more like a business (cont'd)

(AP) — A computer malfunction at United Airlines halted all departures systemwide for two hours Wednesday, the carrier said.

The cause was not immediately clear.

He Gone?

Getting rid of the catcher who can't catch leaves team with catchers who can't hit.

Finally... Finally! Some good news about Pong

Stephen Taylor's remix of Pong, the classic video game, has more than just some extra flash. The George Mason University student has pushed programming tricks to new levels. Plasma Pong starts with the familiar table-tennis recreation, but instead of hitting the ball with paddles, players apply jets of fluid and suction to make it move. Imagine playing Pong while sitting inside a lava lamp, and you get the idea. Modeling fluid behavior is a nifty feat, and one that is winning applause from computer scientists, says today's Washington Post.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

never trust a phant

you know you suck when...

WP: A.Benitez (1-3)

HEY JOE MADDON: GO PHOKK YOURSELF!

Jonny Gomes homered and doubled in a run Monday versus the Diamondbacks. He's slowing down. Still, the solid performance figures to put Gigantic-Piece-of-Shit Elijah Dukes on the bench for a seventh straight game on Tuesday.

INCREDIBLY SHOCKING!!!

Josh Johnson lasted only 3 2/3 innings and gave up eight runs -- four earned -- to the White Sox in his season debut Monday. Johnson started off the outing walk, single, walk, with the first base on balls going to a guy (Jerry Owens) who hadn't drawn one all season. He was a little better after that, but back-to-back errors in front of a Jim Thome homer in the fourth -- one committed by Johnson himself -- helped get him pulled from the game. While Johnson should improve next time, mixed leaguers will want to wait a while to activate him.