A second chink in the armor?

MADRID -- Los Angeles Lakers center Pau Gasol underwent surgery on the index finger of his left hand Monday after breaking it during practice with Spain's national team, the Lakers confirmed.

Gasol will be sidelined at least three weeks.

Did Kill Kenny rob a bank? A very large bank, with say at least $60 million in it?

White Sox claimed outfielder Alex Rios off waivers from the Blue Jays.
Rios, 28, is expected to join the White Sox Tuesday in Seattle. He'll bring a .264/.317/.427 batting line, 14 home runs, 62 RBI and a long-term contract worth over $60 million. The outfielder will have to battle for playing time in Chicago this season. But if the club lets impending free agent Jermaine Dye walk this winter, Rios could be the everyday right fielder in 2010.
~

Trib to take lead in World's Awfulest Newspaper standings?

The TOC Blog
Mariotti to the Chicago Tribune?
Posted in Media, Sports & Rec by Jonathan Messinger on August 10th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Sports blog SportsbyBrooks has the unconfirmed scoop this morning that erstwhile Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti—who declared he needed to get out of the biz because newspapers were dying—will start at the Chicago Tribune on September 1. In case you were wondering, since he left the Sun-Times, Mariotti has been playing over at FanHouse and hollering to no end. Literally, there is no end in sight, and no end could possibly justify the means.
So now he might be coming to the Trib, which for the first time would put me on his side. By which I mean: Die newspapers, die.
~

Anthony Bourdain's Hatred for Ducks Reaches a New Level

Foieadka

~

A chink in the armor?

My longtime small forward will miss 1/8th of the season. Not exactly a crushing blow to the two-time title defense hopes, but the other PARCers need some ray of sunshine...

Orlando Magic All-Star Rashard Lewis will be suspended for the first 10 games of next season because he has tested positive for a testosterone-producing steroid, the Orlando Sentinel has learned.

Edinson Volquez: a philosophical inquiry

Was it K-Mad? Or Dusty?

News item: Volquez (elbow, meteorite) underwent successful Tommy John surgery on Monday, the Reds' official site reports.

Spin: He could take as long as 12 months to recover, so Volquez may not be back in the rotation for Cincinnati until August of 2010. Beyond that, it sometimes takes even longer for a pitcher to regain his velocity and effectiveness, so Volquez may not return to form until 2011 -- if at all (assuming he lives).

Do these two have compromising photos of every GM in baseball?

They have both SUCKED for years. At least Ledezzzma is left-handed. Tomko has only had 2 seasons out of 13 where his ERA+ was better than league average. The first was his rookie season and the last was in 2004. There must be hundreds of pitchers in the minors who would do better in the majors. HE MUST BE THE GREATEST CLUBHOUSE GUY EVAH. And watch him become a pitching coach after his career...

Brett Tomko-R- Athletics
Aug. 5 - 10:54 pm et
A's signed RHP Brett Tomko to a minor league contract.
Tomko was released by the Yankees last week. He posted a 5.25 ERA in 20 2/3 innings in New York. The 36-year-old right-hander will report to Triple-A Sacramento.

Wilfredo Ledezma-R- Blue Jays
Aug. 5 - 10:51 pm et
Blue Jays signed LHP Wilfredo Ledezma to a minor league contract.
Ledezma posted a 9.53 ERA in 5 2/3 innings for the Nationals in April prior to getting released. He was assigned to Triple-A Las Vegas. Ledezma serves as organizational depth and possesses no fantasy upside.
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The only thing we have to fear...

No mention of the Canadian Commandos in this story, which is probably on purpose. But we all know.

Terrorists Take Over Lake Michigan Cruise Ship.

And msnbc thought it was being toungue-in-cheek when they called it "the terrorist hot spot that is the Great Lakes."

This is probably nothing to worry about (cont'd)... actually I have no idea... Fung?

Researchers: XML Security Flaws are Pervasive

Security researchers today unveiled details about a little-known but ubiquitous class of vulnerabilities that may reside in a range of Internet components, from Web applications to mobile and cloud computing platforms to documents, images and instant messaging products...

Codenomicon is a spinoff from the University of Oulu, and is run by many of the same individuals who in 2001-2002 found and reported a widespread vulnerability in a remote Internet management protocol called ASN.1. That research kicked off months of studying and patching by the U.S. government and private sector, which found the ASN.1 flaws extended to some of the nation's most critical electronic infrastructures, including the telephone network, the power grid, and air traffic control systems. (What about fantasy baseball data??? ed.)

Lou Dobbs, too...

And his father really was a propane salesman from Texas. You can't make this shit up.

Smiff born in Kenya? Proof!

This has got to happen!

Coach Lou Holtz vs. Suzanne Kosmas?
No sure thing it will happen, but ESPN analyst and former Notre Dame football coach Lou Holtz was meeting with Republican leaders in Washington Thursday about the prospect of challenging Democratic U.S. Rep. Suzanne Kosmas. Holtz, 72 and living in the Orlando area, would surely be a terrific money-raiser and bring loads of attention to that seat, though plenty of other credible Republicans including Winter Park Commissioner Karen Diebel and state Reps. Sandy Adams and Dorothy Hukill also are running.
Celebrity candidates can be unpredictable in politics, of course. The Orlando Sentinel, which first reported the potential Holtz candidacy, noted that last year Holtz had to apologize after calling Hitler a great leader.
~

If Smiff worked at Sterling Cooper

Prior

670 the Score reported this afternoon that Mark Prior (armectomy, will to live) has been waived by the San Diego Padres. In lieu of flowers, the family is asking that individuals throw towels across the room until the pain in their arm exceeds the pain in their heart (or ass).

Never stopped Santo

Hawk, after the Sox lose to complete the sweep by the Twinkies up dere in the Metrodome: "This ballpark...I wish I could cuss right now."

Was Todd Hollandsworth not available?

White Sox land Kotsay for Anderson
Veteran outfielder should provide help off the bench in Chicago

MINNEAPOLIS -- Brian Anderson got his wish to be traded, and in the process, the White Sox apparently have added a valuable veteran piece to their bench for the playoff push over the next two months.

Anderson, 27, was traded to Boston in exchange for Mark Kotsay and cash considerations on Tuesday. Kotsay, 33, is a .281 hitter with 110 home runs and 614 RBIs over 13 Major League seasons. He batted .257 with one homer and five RBIs in 27 games for the Red Sox in 2009 before being designated for assignment on July 24.

Annudder riduculous poll

Dere's a poll on the Facebooks asking if welfare recipients should take a drug test first. Has anyone taken it? If so, please report the results. I can't bring myself to take the poll. It's tooooo stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopid.

K-Mad won't have him to kick around any longer

WASHINGTON (AP) — Sen. Jim Bunning says he will not run for re-election in 2010.

sounds like he's part of the conspiracy

“Twenty-five percent of my people believe the Pentagon and Rumsfeld were responsible for taking the twin towers down,” said Rep. Collin Peterson, a Democrat who represents a conservative Republican district in Minnesota. “That’s why I don’t do town meetings.”

Growth Industry

Swedish lesbians suck sperm banks dry

They'll have two mommies AND be Danish? No, shouldn't cause any problems on the playground...

Intensity: Good if You're Pale; Bad if you're not

Yesterday was the 26th anniversary of the "Pine Tar" game. I'm sure we've all seen the replay of George Brett going batshit insane hundreds of times. My question is this: Why is Brett's charging out of the dugout with murder in his eyes, his anger so manifest that he has to be physically restrained and pulled away from the umpire, viewed as evidence of his virtue while Milton Bradley having to be physically restrained and pulled away from an umpire who not only blew a call but then baited him viewed as evidence of his insanity and lack of virtue?

Even I could hit a 25mph fastball

News item: Japanese professor creates baseball-playing robots

"The pitching robot throws a plastic foam ball at 25 miles per hour, but Ishikawa is hoping to increase the speed to 93 mph and make it able to throw off-speed pitches like curves and sliders."

Yes, well, I'm working on that too...

"Ishikawa is also working on getting the batting robot to be able to hit to all parts of the field."

Good luck teaching it to "do the little things" or "give 110 percent."

LeBron for President!

CLEVELAND (AP) -- LeBron James struggled with sudden fame after appearing on Sports Illustrated's cover as a 17-year-old and admits he smoked marijuana during his junior year in high school.

Fung def Sarge, Corporal

Well, we're back from the state that finally voted correctly, which we got to thru the state that nobody thought would vote correctly, but we're very glad they did. Fungster did well, defeating Sarge & Corporal and taking lotsa pictures in the process, other than the ones the vanquished took when we were giving them a false sense of security. Details, of course, are at the Spades Marathon blog site, so if you really want to snooze...

Did you know that you could send emails to the blog and they would appear as posts? Fung was struggling with trying to type in stuff in the small ass window on his Google phone (you'd think that the Google phone and the blogger, both owned by the Google, would be a match made in heaven, right? Nope.). Not to mention that some guy was screaming in his ear about how every single drive on that road at that time was a freaking moron and didn't know how to drive. But once he figgered dat out, things were much easier. Except for labeling of course, but you can do that afterward. Or just let Smiff do it for you.

Also, this I believe brings us up to 10 posts for the week. 10 posts? That's like a deluge! If we double them to 20, that will be like the most since like February or something! Oh, W. We miss you, and Dick (Dick) "Dick" Dick, and Condi, and Rummy, and Turblossom, and all those other guys that made this blog possible.

Not mentioned: A whole buncha guys who couldn't give a phokk about Spades, Briggs.

This is your brain on HGH

Does Lou Dobbs ever get tired of being right all the time?

LOU DOBBS: “[T]he stock market has lost 20 percent since this president was sworn in. He has his own bear market. That’s the definition of a bear market, a 20 percent decline. This is now the Obama bear market.” [CNN, 3/9/09]


News item: "The stock market soared to its highest level since November Thursday..."


J.P. Freire: ‘I Can’t Remember Anyone Saying’ The Bear Market Was Obama’s Fault

It's so hard to tell the bad books apart from the good books -- couldn't we just burn down the whole libarry just to be safe?

Library fight riles up city, leads to book-burning demand

Outside West Bend, the fight caught the attention of Robert Braun, who, with three other Milwaukee-area men, filed a claim against West Bend calling for one of the library's books to be publicly burned, along with financial damages.

The four plaintiffs -- who describe themselves as "elderly" in their complaint --- claim their "mental and emotional well-being was damaged by [the] book at the library."
~

Put that on the board

Apologies if you used one of those recordificating machines to recordify the proceedings..

Buehrle completes perfect game to throttle Rays

A shocking percentage of Lou Dobbs viewers agreed with Lou Dobbs last night (cont'd)

Would you trust your senator or congressman with a secret?
Yes 5% 482
No 95% 8526
Total Votes: 9008
Though delightfully inane, this is not a scientific poll

On the other hand, if Michael Medved thinks you're a nutburger, you might be a really YOOOGE nutburger.

Unlike Dobbs, some conservative media think birthers are "nutburgers"
~

JAMBA JUICE PHOKKING SUCKS: IT'S LIKE DIAHHAREA

No Justice, Part II: Boycott Jamba Juice!
2:30 PM, 7/16/09
Even MORE no justice? How much more no justice can we take? Thanks to everyone who forwarded this Jamba Juice advertisemo-tainment:
This is an online animated video about going on some kind of stupid “Jamba Juice vacation” in your cubicle....

SHOCKING NEWS

Briggs is leaving the country again. And once again it's to a country I've never been. One minute Quinny and I are begging him to get a passport, next thing you know he's actually using the damn thing. Truly shocking.

A Random Thought Driving Through West Virginia

So, I was cruising down I-75 on my way to Lexington, KY and I passed a Golden Corral.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you put cows in a corral? Is this really the best name they could come up with for a buffet? Are the executives making fun of the people who eat there?

Does Jimmy Boeheim know about this?

150-pound Minn. cupcake sets Guinness record
~

I phink not -- "Calling it 'The Big Willie' fine with Willis CEO"

Calling it 'The Big Willie' fine with Willis CEO

(Crain's) — Call it "Big Willie," Joseph Plumeri says of his latest high-profile acquisition, the naming rights to Sears Tower.

The Time has Come

The day is nigh. People from all walks of life are flocking into Columbus, OH for what is known as the Spades Marathon. By popular demand (ok, Briggs), we will attempt to live blog or something on annudder blog, http://spadesmarathon.blogspot.com/, because this one has fallen upon hard times or the Twitters has obliterated it.

Sober. Responsible. Progressive.

Your state government!

Video poker is the linchpin for a huge construction spending plan favored by Quinn and Illinois lawmakers. The plan would be financed by borrowing, with at least half the revenue stream for annual debt service on bonds to come from video poker and new initiatives at the Illinois lottery.

hiney birds in the news

News item: "The buzz in the press boxes is that Mr. Mariotti is going to work at the Chicago Tribune in some capacity. Since Tribune officials are declining to comment on the matter, you know something is in the works."
~

The supposedly attractive face of evil

URL obliterated for your protection

Boys will be Boys

Australia probes navy 'sex game'

See, this is what happens when you don't actually have an enemy to fight. Perhaps they need to pick a fight with, oh, let's say Finland.

Happy Independence Day, Sarah Palin.

You may have escaped your job, but you can't escape your self-appointed patron. Bill "Always Wrong" Kristol still believes in you:

If Palin wants to run in 2012, why not do exactly what she announced today? It's an enormous gamble - but it could be a shrewd one.

adjust expectations accordingly

Buster Posey is a Prairie Chicken.

Be Very Afraid

So what's the invasion schedule dere Smiff? Fung has to know when everything's supposed to be clean & in its place & stuff.

Typical

Cub fan's hunger strike

First, I thought a hunger strike was eating NO food, not this less than I need bull$#!+. Second, you usually go on one of dese for only one reason, not dis "oh, and I'm also trying to lose weight. Seriously. Even Cub fans won't go all the way. Pathetic.

I don't think anyone anticipated racoons

Josh Outman is out 12-18 months after undergoing Tommy John surgery on Tuesday.

He also had a bone spur, a railroad tie, and a family of racoons removed from his left elbow. It's a serious blow to the A's 2010, 2011, and 2012 rotation as Outman had emerged as the staff's best starter early this season

Trib Readers - Brain Dead

See Sarge, it's not just the sportswriters. It's the readers too.

Readers vote: 'Z' ya later

The times, they are a changin'

Giving up my iPod for a Walkman

Fung went thru a coupla walkmans & discmans before the mp3 was around. That this kid found one thing that was good about that particular walkman was SHOCKING. Though that one advantage probably had more to do with the size of the thing - looks almost as big as his head, so of course there's enuff room to put a microwave, toaster & other appliances on it too!

Is there a 60-Month DL?

News item: Conor Jackson, Ari: Transferred to 60-Day DL (Pneumonia, Desert Fever, Catarrh, the Screaming S#i+s, K-Mad's Palsy, H5N1 Pandemic SUCKS, etc...)

Mistake? Unlikely...

Fox News Apologizes for Identifying Sanford as Democrat

Why is Obama sticking up for the Surly Penguin, the Prince of Darkness, the Undead Dick (Dick) "Dick" Dick Cheney?

Weismann's organization sued last year to obtain the notes from an interview that the FBI conducted with then-Vice President Dick Cheney. The interview was part of an investigation into leaks concerning undercover CIA officer Valerie Plame, and the Bush administration vigorously fought the release of the notes.

"The records contain descriptions of confidential deliberations among top White House officials which are protected by the deliberative process and presidential communications privileges," Bush's Justice Department argued in an Oct. 10, 2008, legal brief.

Obama's Justice Department held the same line Thursday.
~

pretty sure there's no connection here... yep, quite certain

News item: CTA warns of service cuts
News item: DC Metro may get billions after crash

Fortunately, the L never moves fast enough to hurt anyone.
~

whaaaaa?

1. Blue Ward Cyclones 215.5
2. Manky Dreadful 167.5
3. Lord Viper Elefantes 165.5

"I've got responsibilities in making certain...that we are not used as a tool to be exploited by other countries."

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — An airstrike believed to have been carried out by a United States drone killed at least 60 people at a funeral for a Taliban fighter in South Waziristan on Tuesday, residents of the area and local news reports said...

The United States carried out 22 previous drone strikes this year, as the Obama administration has intensified a policy inherited from the Bush administration.

Before the attack on Tuesday, the Pakistani Army and Air Force had begun operations in South Waziristan against the forces of the Pakistani Taliban leader, Baitullah Mehsud. The group’s suicide bombings in major cities have terrorized Pakistanis for years.

In a serious blow to Pakistan’s effort, on Tuesday an assassin loyal to Mr. Mehsud shot and killed a rival tribal leader, Qari Zainuddin, whom the government had hoped to use as an ally in its campaign to corner the Taliban leader.

EXACTLY how I remember Bangkok

News item: City wants high-rise crane removed

No work has been done on the planned 90-story building since last year, and now it stands as a shell about 27 stories tall at the southwest corner of Wacker and Clark.

Da Mare's gonna be all over dis

News item from Lancaster, Pa.: Some 165 closed-circuit TV cameras soon will provide live, round-the-clock scrutiny of nearly every street, park and other public space used by the 55,000 residents and the town's many tourists...

Years ago, there's no way we could do this," said Keith Sadler, Lancaster's police chief. "It brings to mind Big Brother, George Orwell and '1984.' It's just funny how Americans have softened on these issues."

Yes... funny... not "hah-hah" funny... more like "holy phokking s#i+" funny... but funny...
~

Some winners do use drugs

Are you going to tell AC360, or should I?

AFP - US swimming star Michael Phelps won the 100m butterfly in a sizzling 50.48sec, flirting with the world record as he continued his 2009 World Championship build-up at the Canada Cup.

Phelps, who won an unprecedented eight Olympic gold medals at the Beijing Games last August, was just eight-hundredths outside the world record of 50.40 held by compatriot Ian Crocker, in Saturday's competition.

He also improved on his personal best time of 50.58sec, set in winning gold at Beijing.

why does Neil Steinberg HATE the plutocracy?

'Nowhere to go and no one to help them'

Fungrant

If the photo doesn't show the goods, it should not be called a "topless" photo. I leave you to find which one I'm talking about...

It was bound to happen

Next time I grab Sarge's iPhone I shall search for dis...

Well, this is amazing...

Dems now pro-war, GOP now anti-troops

So says the roll call on the war funding bill that just passed.

Warning

To those who think they can phokk with the new President...

Update: On da udder hand, there was this man on the bus today that was trying to kill a moth. With his floppy CTA pass. He even actually managed to crush it with said floppy pass on the glass. Soon as he lifts pass off the glass, moth flies off. And everyone knows how freaking slow a moth is. Just goes to show ya, our Prez has got mad skillz you just can't find on the streets.

I think the giveaway was when he started to grow a second head

The New York Phokking Times, citing lawyers with knowledge of test results, reports that Sammy Sosa is among the players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003. Though Sosa has been widely suspected of performance-enhancing drug use, this represents his first clear link to a positive test result. The 40-year-old, who announced his plans to retire from baseball earlier this month, is sixth on baseball's all-time home run list, with 609.
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WHO declares SUCKS pandemic

06.16: SI.com is reporting that season-ending surgery is still a possibility for Prairie Chickens' starter Jake Peavy. Peavy and the Chix'zz medical staff will do everything in their power to rehab the injury without surgery, but the possibility still exists that it could be necessary if the ankle does not properly heal (see also: Wheelchair Baseball).

Poll Rigging (cont)

On da TV today, WGN viewers were asked to say who would win da El series, or whatever you call the next three games @ Wrigley. 75% said the Sox would win. What has this world come to when even da Trib co can't even rig its own poll? Or perhaps they did to make it more respectable...

I've always said, announcing a ballgame is not easy

But picking on Joe is so easy I almost feel bad about passing this along, except I know Smiff enjoys it.

Top of the eighth. Cliff Lee has just given up his first hit of the game to the Cardinals, a double to right. Up in the booth, Joe Morgan decides to tell a story. You know where this is going...

get right wid da Lord

The Manky Dreadful are in 3rd place.

The shocking thing is i don't think @kmaddest has owned him in any league

Eric Chavez will undergo a second microdiscectomy on his back, this time on a different spot, according to the Athletics.
The A's confirmed that he'd miss the rest of the season. "This is his best chance to play again. ... It's been tough for him personally," Geren said. "He's a big-time player, Gold Glover that we miss. I still keep the hope and stay positive that he's going to contribute next year." Chavez underwent his original microdiscectomy back on Oct. 9.
~

At least he's a good Clubhouse Guy...

Milton Bradley went 2-for-4 with a two-run double on Friday, giving him just his third multi-RBI game of the season.

So why was he still being booed? Bradley ran into an out in the sixth, lost a flyball in the sun in the seventh and then forgot how many outs there were and threw a live ball into the stands in the eighth. He should be quite embarrassed about his play.
~

How does the Google's all-seeing eyeball in the sky know I'm a nort'-side drunken a$$#ole?

Gmail is trying to sell me a "Horry Kow" t-shirt. $13.99!

Got $28 Meeeelion?

Den do I have a fantastic real estate opportunity for ya:

http://www.villataj.com/

Finally, we've found our Spades house. And Smiff is so not invited to stay over.

raising the question: how many senses of the word "baseball," or "player," or "baseball player," are there?

I'll give you one for damn sure - he is a grinder.

Cleveland Indians manager and former Prairie Chicken Eric Wedge, on Manky Dreadful infielder Mark DeRosa:

"He's a baseball player in every sense of the word."

turns out he also sucks as a manager

"If Kenny brought Beckham here, it's because Josh Fields was not doing his job."
-- Ozzie &*@#! Guillen

Josh Fields in 2009: .237 BA, .304 OBP, .333 SLG, .637 OPS
Ozzie Guillen's career stats: .264 BA, .287 OBP, .338 SLG, .626 OPS

Lovie Do

chicagotribune.com: The Sporting News ranked the Bears' Lovie Smith as the 20th-best coach in the NFL. Do you agree?
No, Lovie's winning record speaks for itself. (1851 responses) 48.4%
Yes. In-game adjustments, Ron Rivera, sticking with Rex...shall I go on? (1974 responses) 51.6%
3825 total responses (Results not scientific, but get a brain moranic)

End Times Prediction

'Tiny chance' of planet collision

So if we don't phokk it up over the next few billion years, Venus or Mars (or a super freakish MercuVenus combo planet) could come in and finish us off. And there's nothing the United Federation of Planets can do to stop it! Mwahahahahaha!

Saving FAIL

One's life savings aren't even safe under the mattress anymore. What is this world coming to?

Israel woman 'bins $1m mattress':

Earth to Josh Fields: Ozzie Is The Phokking Manager

Josh Fields earned the ire of manager Ozzie Guillen after saying that he wanted answers from the organization about his future.

"Oh, you better be careful for what you say and what you wish," said Guillen "It's not my fault that we brought [Gordon] Beckham here. If [GM] Kenny [Williams] brought Beckham here, it's because Josh Fields was not doing his job. Am I wrong?"
~

Wow, almost everyone thinks he sucks

Virginia.gov
2009 June Democratic Primary Unofficial Results
Governor
Precincts Reporting: 2,499 of 2,504 (99.80%)
R. Creigh Deeds 159,284 (49.73%)
Terry R. F. McAuliffe 84,588 (26.41%)
Brian J. Moran 76,376 (23.84%)

Why does Bob Herbert hate plutocratic duck liver eaters?

Op-Ed Columnist
State of Shame
By BOB HERBERT
Published: June 8, 2009

Ferndale, N.Y.

Each feeder, for example, is responsible for feeding 200 to 300 (or more) ducks — individually — three times a day. The feeder holds a duck between his or her knees, inserts a tube down the duck’s throat, and uses a motorized funnel to force the feed into the bird. Then on to the next duck, hour after hour, day after day, week after week.

The routine is brutal and not very sanitary. Each feeding takes about four hours and once the birds are assigned a feeder, no one else can be substituted during the 22-day force-feeding period that leads up to the slaughter. Substituting a feeder would upset the ducks, according to the owners of Hudson Valley Foie Gras, which operates the farm.

Not only do the feeders get no days off during that long stretch, and no overtime for any of the long hours, but they get very little time even to sleep each day. The feeding schedule for the ducks must be rigidly observed.

When I asked one of the owners, Izzy Yanay, about the lack of a day of rest, he said of the workers: “This notion that they need to rest is completely futile. They don’t like to rest. They want to work seven days.”

Covering this story has been like stepping back in time. Farmworkers in New York do not have the same legal rights and protections that other workers have, and the state’s multibillion-dollar agriculture industry has taken full advantage of that. The workers have no right to a day off or overtime pay. They don’t get any paid vacation or sick days. When I asked one worker if he knew of anyone who had a retirement plan, he laughed and laughed.

To understand how it’s possible to treat farmworkers in New York this way you have to look back to the 1930s when President Franklin Roosevelt was trying to get Congress to pass the Fair Labor Standards Act to provide basic wage and hour protections for workers. Among the opponents were segregationist congressmen and senators who were outraged that the protections would apply to blacks as well as whites.

Most agricultural and domestic workers were black, and the legislation was not passed until those two categories of workers were excluded. New York State lawmakers, under heavy and sustained pressure from the agriculture lobby, have similarly exempted farmworkers (the vast majority of whom are now Latino) from most state labor law protections.

There was a good chance — right up until Monday, when the State Senate went through a sudden and cataclysmic change from Democratic to Republican control — that something might be done about this legislatively. On Monday evening, the Assembly passed (and Gov. David Paterson has promised to sign) a bill extending much-needed labor protections to farmworkers, including the right to at least one day of rest per week and, more important, the right to bargain collectively.

Republican senators were split on the bill, however, and the New York Farm Bureau, the lead lobbying agency for the agriculture industry, is furiously opposed to passage. With the upheaval in the Senate, the fate of the bill, called the Farmworkers Fair Labor Practices Act, is unknown.

A major supporter of the bill, the Rev. Richard Witt, executive director of the Rural and Migrant Ministry of New York, said the Senate shift would have no effect on the campaign for passage of the bill. Another supporter, Kerry Kennedy, founder of the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights, also said she will continue to push hard for passage.

“It’s shocking that these conditions could exist in New York State,” Ms. Kennedy said. “We talked to a worker who had not had a day off in 10 years.”

That is not an argument that carries much weight with the Farm Bureau. Sounding like an echo of Mr. Yanay, the bureau’s spokesman, Peter Gregg said, “They don’t want days off. The farmworkers want to work. They came here to make money.

~

He just wants to help the ballclub any way he can

"We just need to bring a little more energy and intensity to the table ... Through a season, teams go through ups and downs. It's a little dead period for us now. I know the media has been asking questions about Detroit coming in because they're simply leading the Central, but every game is important, every series is important. We're not really looking at the standings right now. We've just got to take some energy into each and every game."
-- Podzzzie

Would you like file sharing with that?

BBC NEWS Technology Swedish pirates capture EU seat

So if you're a "pirate" of the darky kind you must be hunted down and destroyed because you're causing "disruptions" to the western economic model, while if you're a pirate of the whitey kind you get representation in a continent wide parliament. Now do you understand why all us darkies are confused?

I realize this one late effort doesn't make it up to Smiff, but was Slash not available?

News item: Linkin Park guitarist chosen as UCLA commencement speaker

Books that smell like bacon? It's a Deckerian wet dream...

New Book Smell in a Can

Do you love your Kindle, but feel like it’s lacking a certain je ne sais quoi? Spray it with "New Book Smell" and get that satisfaction you’ve been missing.

Smell of Books comes in four additional aromas: Classic Musty, Crunchy Bacon, Eau You Have Cats, and Scents of Sensibility, for Jane Austen fans.

“Now you can finally enjoy reading e-books without giving up the smell you love so much. With Smell of Books you can have the best of both worlds, the convenience of an e-book and the smell of your favorite paper book.”

~

EVIDENCE MASSIVE STEROID USE CAUSES EYE DAMAGE

David Ortiz said that he is thinking about getting his eyes checked.
"There have been some situations that something has happened to my eyes, my vision," Ortiz said. "But I'm planning on getting my eyes checked out sometime soon. I don't know. It's just sometimes that I've been feeling lately. It's not anything crazy, but just to make sure." Ortiz goes on to say that he has 20-20 vision, so it's extremely doubtful that his failures at the plate this season are vision related. The struggling designated hitter was on the bench on Thursday against the Tigers with left-hander Dontrelle Willis on the mound.
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TV - Far too forgiving

For here's someone that shouldn't be allowed to talk anymore, first, because he's always wrong, second because he's annoying, and third, because he was such a wuss on The Daily Show.



Jim Cramer: Buy A House Now, Calls Housing Bottom

Translated: HE DID A SHITLOAD OF STEROIDS

Sammy Sosa said Wednesday that he's ready to announce his formal retirement from baseball.

"I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame," said a delusional Sosa. "I always played with love and responsibility and I assure you that I will not answer nor listen to rumors. If anything ugly comes up in the future, we will confront it immediately, but with all our strength because I will not allow anybody to tarnish what I did in the field."
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Look who's UNHINGED!

Manager Ozzie Guillen defended his use of DeWayne Wise in a tirade Wednesday.
"I'm tired, really tired, of fans and media talking about Wise anymore," Guillen said. "He played because I wanted him to play. He played because I made the stinking lineup ... Every time I read it, all of the sudden they're in love with Brian Anderson." Wise has posted a .172/.200/.172 line in 29 at-bats, which is one hot streak away from his career line of .211/.250/.372.
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she speaks for millions of Illinois residents

"Daddy, I wish you were there to eat the tarantula, not Mommy."
-- Rod "Perfect Hair" Blagojevich's 6-year-old daughter, to her father

satire gets harder all the time (cont'd)

In the two weeks since Newsweek has redesigned, the magazine’s editors have sent out a statement that they intend to sever any and all connection to the turgid, dusty newsweekly of yore. And Jon Meacham, the magazine’s editor, is trying to recapture that age-old magazine editor’s trick for his newly conceived book: buzz.

For the next issue that hits newsstands on June 8, Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert will be Newsweek’s guest editor...

MORE PIZZA FOR JIMBO!

Tue, Jun 2
Milton Bradley left Tuesday's game with a right calf strain, the team's official site reports.
Recommendation: Reed Johnson replaced Bradley in the field for the fourth inning. He's struggled to produce around nagging injuries this season, and it's only Year 1 of the three-year, $30 million deal that Jim Hendry gave him over the winter.
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Where were K-Mad's commencement speaker reports this year?

Like "Larry the Cable Guy" at some community college in Texas?

Well, did anyone get a get as good as the "Idiocracy" guy? An UCSD alumnus, i might add:

Graduating seniors, graduate students, family members, friends and alumni are all invited to participate in the second annual All Campus Graduation Celebration on Friday, June 12, at 5 p.m. on RIMAC field. The campus-wide event will include an alumni grad mixer, picnic-style dinner, fireworks display and ceremony where Mike Judge, '85, an alumnus of UC San Diego and creator behind "Office Space" and "King of the Hill," will serve as keynote speaker.
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Guns Don't Kill People in Church, People Kill People in Church

Dear Citizen,

The recent assassination of George R Tiller while in church raises the logical argument: if every member of that congregation had been armed, the assassin would have thought twice before marching into the church. It is imperative that you, citizen, defend your right to carry firearms, concealed or not, into your house of worship as described in the 2nd Amendment of our Constitution. Write your Congressman today and send your contribution to your local NRA chapter.

Thank you for your support.
God bless America.

Adam Kovac
President, NRA

G. Gordon Liddy: fecund... and an idiot... and ready to launch... and frying his brain on human growth hormone...

Gee, Gordon, in 2009: "I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, 'the race.' And that should not surprise anyone because she’s already on record with a number of racist comments... Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then."

Gee, Gordon, in 2002: "I am often asked my secret for remaining virile, vigorous, potent and fecund. (Really? How often? Because this news surprises me... Ed.) The secret is that, in addition to not smoking or drinking alcohol, exercising and following a diet low in calories, fat and red meat and high in fish, I have for some time been taking a Human Growth Hormone Releasant specially formulated for me and heretofore not available to the public. Now, under the brand name Nature's Youth HGH, the exact formula I have been using is available to you. My secret is out. Nature's Youth HGH is how I stay 'Good to Go and Ready to Launch!'"

something they said would never happen

John Tyler's face on money. I'm looking at it now. But it's only because the US Mint's presidential vetting process for the dollar coin decided to let in everyone... sort of the presidential equivalent of Everybody Gets a Trophy Day.

Smiff Invasion: Da Update

July 3-15

You have been warned.

I figgered since we're all so patriotic i would want to be deres for da fort and all the shits blowin' up as we recreate the many wars we've been in. YAY!

At da Hotel Blake July 10-14. Da udder days at the Hotel Fung and elsewheres? Make an offer. I'm sure Fung would be happy to be rid of me for a few (or all) nights.

Going to da Sox on July 9th. Open to udder games. Anyone got cheap Cubs tix? Also, monkeys fly outta my butt.

Will The Decker be in town?
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A Trailblazing Denial

Sen. Burris Denies Wrongdoing Over Senate Seat

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Crazy Being Crazy

Carlos Zambrano was ejected from Wednesday's game against the Pirates in the seventh inning after bumping into umpire Mark Carlson.
Zambrano was upset about a play at the plate, and after being tossed, he made a big scene, indicating that he had ejected Carlson from the game, throwing a ball into left field, throwing his glove against the dugout screen and clubbing the dugout's Gatorade fountain with a bat. The Arlington Daily Herald anticipates that he'll be suspended for at least one start. He gave up two runs -- one earned -- in 6 1/3 innings before departing.
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Football - more than just a game

Well, in Yurup anyway...

Why is there buttock stabbing in Rome?

The Kollyforniya Constitution: the ant farm of democracy

Today's fun fact (quoted from Kolly Supreme Court Prop 8 decision): "more than 500 amendments to the California Constitution have been adopted since ratification of California’s current Constitution in 1879."

like an approaching asteroid?

News item: "Nearly Headless" Nick Johnson is believed to be on the Mets' radar, according to Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports.

and he's a Smelt

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the Cubs are eyeing Padres' third baseman Kevin Kouzmanoff.